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Fishooked

By Fishooked
in The Jets Lounge

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Borgoguy

Borgoguy

Posted
Posted
You're thinking of Mengele or something.

Mengele was a doctor. The script involves the headmistress becoming a tank commander. Please, Aten or whatever your name is, leave the writing and story development to the professionals. You concentrate on doodie jokes.

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Aten

Aten

Posted
Posted
Mengele was a doctor. The script involves the headmistress becoming a tank commander. Please, Aten or whatever your name is, leave the writing and story development to the professionals. You concentrate on doodie jokes.

Yeah, dunno how I could have failed to infer tank commander from cutting schoolgirls to ribbons. Does the tank have a bayonet?

Far as the writing crack, the irony is so deafening I can't even hear myself think up a retort.

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DHJF

DHJF

Posted
Posted
Thanks, dude. I'll send you one of my scripts where a private school headmistress in Lima, Peru becomes possessed by the spirit of Field Marshall Rommel. Though there is a fair bit of ritualistic livestock slaughter and significant human carnage carried out by dwarves, much levity ensues. At the end of the story, both the headmistress--and any remaining school girls who have not been cut to ribbons--learn a valuable lesson. I'm thinking of submitting it for Peabody consideration. Do you think Conan or one of his guests would green light the project? Let me know soon, as I am half way through pitching this concept to Lucas Films.

Send it to the P.O. box in my addy I PM'd you. Seth Green (Oz from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Robot Chicken) likes all of that stuff. In fact, I spent 5 days in Amsterdam with Seth and Macauley Culkin just last week.

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Thor99

Thor99

Posted
Posted
Send it to the P.O. box in my addy I PM'd you. Seth Green (Oz from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Robot Chicken) likes all of that stuff. In fact, I spent 5 days in Amsterdam with Seth and Macauley Culkin just last week.

I've been told that Macauley gives great head. Is it true?

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LiLMiCKMANTLE

LiLMiCKMANTLE

Posted
Posted
Send it to the P.O. box in my addy I PM'd you. Seth Green (Oz from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Robot Chicken) likes all of that stuff. In fact, I spent 5 days in Amsterdam with Seth and Macauley Culkin just last week.

dam thats pretty cool. how were the coffee shops.. was macauley blasted 24/7??

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DHJF

DHJF

Posted
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dam thats pretty cool. how were the coffee shops.. was macauley blasted 24/7??

The coffee shops are everything you've heard of: Several selections to choose from. Some of them even offered blonde hash.

Funny thing: Many Europeans mix tobacco with their pot. But if you do this, you can't smoke the joint in the bar; you have to take it outside because of the 2nd hand tobacco smoke. However, if your joint is 100% weed, light up right in the place. Silly Europeans.

Macaulay brought some smokin' chick with him, so he was well-behaved most of the time.

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LiLMiCKMANTLE

LiLMiCKMANTLE

Posted
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The coffee shops are everything you've heard of: Several selections to choose from. Some of them even offered blonde hash.

Funny thing: Many Europeans mix tobacco with their pot. But if you do this, you can't smoke the joint in the bar; you have to take it outside because of the 2nd hand tobacco smoke. However, if your joint is 100% weed, light up right in the place. Silly Europeans.

Macaulay brought some smokin' chick with him, so he was well-behaved most of the time.

dam thats awesome...and the tobacco thing is pretty funny..lol i gotta make it over there before i die.. you probably have coolest job on the board with all the celebs you get to meet

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Jets Babe

Jets Babe

Posted
Posted
Production Assistant for Conan O'Brien. I basically prepare guests with the questions they're going to be asked before they go on. I'm moving to L.A. in April when Conan takes over The Tonight Show from Leno.

Send it to the P.O. box in my addy I PM'd you. Seth Green (Oz from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Robot Chicken) likes all of that stuff. In fact, I spent 5 days in Amsterdam with Seth and Macauley Culkin just last week.

Really? http://tv.yahoo.com/show/31644/castcrew

All of the production assistants on conan's show are females..unless if you're a chick, I'm calling bull****. And judging by your previous posts...you're a guy.

Not to mention, that homo Macauley Culkin wasn't hanging with you in Amsterdam last week for 5 days...he was in NYC..

http://jezebel.com/5072345/macaulay-culkin-curbs-his-enthusiasm

Photo taken last week.

Also, in your profile, it says that you are a pathological liar. Irony?

edit: Wait, no, this is irony: http://www.jetnation.com/forums/showpost.php?p=904981&postcount=48

Thanks, Aten.

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joebabyny

joebabyny

Posted
Posted
dam thats awesome...and the tobacco thing is pretty funny..lol i gotta make it over there before i die.. you probably have coolest job on the board with all the celebs you get to meet

dude, you better hurry real quick, they are closing down all the fun stuff in amsterdam, already did away with mushrooms/payotee and live sex shows, the hookers and coffee shops are scheduled to be closed soon too.

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joebabyny

joebabyny

Posted
Posted
Really? http://tv.yahoo.com/show/31644/castcrew

All of the production assistants on conan's show are females..unless if you're a chick, I'm calling bull****. And judging by your previous posts...you're a guy.

Not to mention, that homo Macauley Culkin wasn't hanging with you in Amsterdam last week for 5 days...he was in NYC..

http://jezebel.com/5072345/macaulay-culkin-curbs-his-enthusiasm

Photo taken last week.

Also, in your profile, it says that you are a pathological liar. Irony?

hey jetsbabe, wanna go out on a date sometime:p

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Aten

Aten

Posted
Posted
Really? http://tv.yahoo.com/show/31644/castcrew

All of the production assistants on conan's show are females..unless if you're a chick, I'm calling bull****. And judging by your previous posts...you're a guy.

Not to mention, that homo Macauley Culkin wasn't hanging with you in Amsterdam last week for 5 days...he was in NYC..

http://jezebel.com/5072345/macaulay-culkin-curbs-his-enthusiasm

Photo taken last week.

Also, in your profile, it says that you are a pathological liar. Irony?

No. This is irony: http://www.jetnation.com/forums/showpost.php?p=904981&postcount=48

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LiLMiCKMANTLE

LiLMiCKMANTLE

Posted
Posted
dude, you better hurry real quick, they are closing down all the fun stuff in amsterdam, already did away with mushrooms/payotee and live sex shows, the hookers and coffee shops are scheduled to be closed soon too.

dam thats wack.. i guess im never gonna get to do any of that **** then cuz i def dont have 1100 for airfare to go anytime soon...

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DHJF

DHJF

Posted
Posted
Really? http://tv.yahoo.com/show/31644/castcrew

All of the production assistants on conan's show are females..unless if you're a chick, I'm calling bull****. And judging by your previous posts...you're a guy.

Not to mention, that homo Macauley Culkin wasn't hanging with you in Amsterdam last week for 5 days...he was in NYC..

http://jezebel.com/5072345/macaulay-culkin-curbs-his-enthusiasm

Photo taken last week.

Also, in your profile, it says that you are a pathological liar. Irony?

edit: Wait, no, this is irony: http://www.jetnation.com/forums/showpost.php?p=904981&postcount=48

Thanks, Aten.

You're a party-pooper, JB. I been BUSTED! Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

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Borgoguy

Borgoguy

Posted
Posted
Yeah, dunno how I could have failed to infer tank commander from cutting schoolgirls to ribbons. Does the tank have a bayonet?

Far as the writing crack, the irony is so deafening I can't even hear myself think up a retort.

Why so negative about my writing? I'll have you know that I was Robert McKee's main coffee technician for many years. What better training, I ask?

You haven't been on the board very long, so you could not have known of my distaste for braggarts and all things even mildly related to sexually suggestive, or risque, humor. Since you have questioned my abilities as a literary artist, I will--on this one occasion--let all of you in on a project that I have nearly completed. I've been working closely with several members of the kitchen staff at Skywalker Ranch, who have assured me that "Mr. L" likes my concept, and should be green lighted soon. I don't think he will mind my sharing of the main idea for the project, which I originally pitched as Total Recall, meets Benji, meets The Karate Kid.

It's the story of a man--Nurhan 6--who is sent from another dimension to share the secret to curing all forms of cancer in our realm. Problems begin almost immediately, however, as our hero--inexplicably transformed into an adorable beagle--lands in a small, rural Texas town shortly after the end of the Vietnam Conflict, which is now the home of many Vietnamese immigrants. Further, because of the a scrambling of his molecules during the inter-dimensional travel, Nurhan 6 arrives--tragically--with an extreme case of Tourette's Syndrome (barking manifestation) and a profound speech impediment, often referred to as "hiccup stammering".

Anxious to share his life saving information with our world, Nurhan 6 valiantly attempts to communicate with any human he sees to tell them that he is really a man from another dimension sent to cure our dreaded cancer plague. Alas, all that comes out of the frisky pooch's mouth is a strange, staccato, barking noise. This leads to a gathering of people who point and laugh at our "canine" pal. The more Nurhan 6 tries to speak, the louder they laugh, eventually leading to full fledged guffaws. Seeing their insensitivity, and feeling their cruel ridicule, Nurhan 6 decides at that very moment that we are not ready for this important gift, and to never share his secret with these "Neanderthal heathens". As he starts to storm away, a young Hmong boy, Ngyuen--who has witnessed this sad scene--picks up Nurhan 6 and whisks him away to his ramshackle home on the outskirts of town.

The rest of the film at this stage in development involves Nurhan 6 witnessing the many torments and tribulations that Ngyuen endures at the hands of cruel schoolmates, and his family and their friends, by boorish rednecks in the community who abhor the immgrants. Finally, after days of seeing the courageous struggle of Ngyuen and the others, Nurhan 6 decides that he will work arduously through his speech impediment and finally share his revelation. On this fateful day, Ngyuen and several of his friends grab and muzzle the pooch, then transport him to a nearby treehouse where he is savagely--and graphically--sexually assaulted by the boys. Fear not, as a truly uplifting moment ensues next as Nurhan 6 valiantly escapes their clutches, leaps from the treehouse, and runs off down the street accompanied by a swelling musical arrangement, orchestrated by the grand nephew of uber-composer Hans Zimmer. Sadly, though, Nurhan 6 is struck by a speeding mail truck--on its appointed rounds--killing him instantly.

Though I am only in the preliminary phases of discussion, my plan is to enlist the guidance of adult film legends Vanessa Del Rio and Christy Canyon to bring an air of realism to the barbaric canine rape scene. So, as you have read--and I hope you will admit--you have vastly underestimated my writing "chops". But, please don't worry yourself. An apology is not necessary.

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