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Things Darrelle Revis can't do.


Jetsfan80

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A friend of mine, who we'll call Brett (since that's his name), is a smartass Steelers fan who has been sending me texts over the last couple days suggesting things that Darrelle Revis is NOT capable of doing. He may still be hurting over the fact that the Steelers coughed up Santonio Holmes for a 5th rounder.

Here's a few back-and-forths in the conversation, which I found humorous and perhaps you will too:

Brett: Darrelle Revis cannot sell more paper than a machine....or Dwight Schrute.

Me: Revis sells lot's of paper, in the form of game tickets.

Brett: He also only eats the orange starburst, leaving only the nasty yellow ones. That bastard.

Brett: Darrelle Revis can't lead a church.

Me: He can lead a receiver.

Brett: Revis can't make a lasagna.

Me: You don't know that.

Brett: I could be a racist and say it's highly unlikely due to his african-americanness.

Me: Man, he's from the suburbs, he isn't THAT black.

Brett: Well most white folk can't make it....unless they are Italian....and his name isn't Darrelle Revarolli, so...

Me: Racist.

Brett: Hey, I once dated a black girl, so that should count for something.

Any other ideas of things Revis can't do?

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