Popular Post undertow Posted May 9, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted May 9, 2023 7 hours ago, joewilly12 said: The villages has been mentioned to me before by a friend from Florida not sure I like that lifestyle at all … there are days I wish I was back with ex wife … taking her abuse …. You don't have to party at these communities in Florida you can join a billiards club, play golf, find fishing buddies, find some Jets fans to watch the games with....no offense but you sound like a person who was comfortable with your life just hanging out at home but you are going to have to snap out of it and get outside of your comfort zone or the rest of your days aren't going to be very happy. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 8 hours ago, joewilly12 said: Well the 54 year old with 4 kids wanted mortgage payment steak lobster dinners all after 3 dates no sex…. she brought the kids out for dinner ordered take out for the ones at home … I asked her to leave the tip she said she had no money …. The 62 year old first date we went to lunch she said she needed to stop at the grocery store on way home cart half full rung up had to buy bags looked at me said can you pay … I said no way … then proceeded to attack me ask me what kind of man I was … then when I almost missed her driveway threatened to mace me… I dropped her off never looked back …. Scary world guys … Dude how would you possibly get in a situation where her kids were at dinner when you basically were just meeting her? Did you pay for the groceries? Why buy the milk when the cow is going to mace you anyway? 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 6 minutes ago, undertow said: You don't have to party at these communities in Florida you can join a billiards club, play golf, find fishing buddies, find some Jets fans to watch the games with....no offense but you sound like a person who was comfortable with your life just hanging out at home but you are going to have to snap out of it and get outside of your comfort zone or the rest of your days aren't going to be very happy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
undertow Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 2 minutes ago, Maxman said: My mother just died 2 month ago and my father lives in one of these communities....he took a month to morn and he's just getting back to playing pool and staying active....gotta snap out of it and keep it moving or you will just wither away. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetsfaninNorthHollywood Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 10 hours ago, The Crusher said: Excellent advice. Well, until the swing party at the 55 and over community. That sounds simply terrifying. The Villages sounds like a lively place. No Del Boca Vista action there. I read about the "Loofah code" in the NY Post, so that takes the guess work out of what someone is into. https://nypost.com/2023/02/03/swingers-swap-upside-down-pineapples-for-loofahs/ Oh and they busted a chop shop for golf carts there in 2019, as well. https://www.thedrive.com/news/11817/florida-swat-team-finds-drugs-golf-cart-chop-shop-in-retirement-community-raid I just turned 50 last year and my colleagues were telling me to go there for my golden years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 6 minutes ago, undertow said: My mother just died 2 month ago and my father lives in one of these communities....he took a month to morn and he's just getting back to playing pool and staying active....gotta snap out of it and keep it moving or you will just wither away. So sorry for your loss! How are you holding up? Glad to hear your Dad is doing okay. And I don't think I got that when I was younger. The senior trips, all the group outings. Hell as I get older I totally understand it. Its becoming even more important with work from home and all that. We need to socialize. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
undertow Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 9 minutes ago, Maxman said: So sorry for your loss! How are you holding up? Glad to hear your Dad is doing okay. And I don't think I got that when I was younger. The senior trips, all the group outings. Hell as I get older I totally understand it. Its becoming even more important with work from home and all that. We need to socialize. Things are decent thanks. We all can get comfortable in our routines but have to make sure to stay active and have relationships outside of your household...luckily for me I'm an only child and have always been comfortable solo I didn't get married till 43. lol 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 10 minutes ago, undertow said: Things are decent thanks. We all can get comfortable in our routines but have to make sure to stay active and have relationships outside of your household...luckily for me I'm an only child and have always been comfortable solo I didn't get married till 43. lol It is so true, Staying active is the key to staying young. I am glad you are doing okay. And 43 wow, you were out there tearing it up for 42 years. That was a good run lol. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
undertow Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 4 minutes ago, Maxman said: It is so true, Staying active is the key to staying young. I am glad you are doing okay. And 43 wow, you were out there tearing it up for 42 years. That was a good run lol. Haha yeah I got tired around 39. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly12 Posted May 9, 2023 Author Share Posted May 9, 2023 1 hour ago, Maxman said: Dude how would you possibly get in a situation where her kids were at dinner when you basically were just meeting her? Did you pay for the groceries? Why buy the milk when the cow is going to mace you anyway? Picked her up at her house she said can my daughter join us. No way buy your own groceries. Crazy sh*t all because I wouldn’t buy the groceries . No more psychos …. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAM SAM HE'S OUR MAN Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 4 hours ago, Maxman said: Why buy the milk when the cow is going to mace you anyway? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAM SAM HE'S OUR MAN Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 Go to the ASPCA and rescue a dog . 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 6 hours ago, undertow said: My mother just died 2 month ago and my father lives in one of these communities....he took a month to morn and he's just getting back to playing pool and staying active....gotta snap out of it and keep it moving or you will just wither away. Sorry for your loss brother, very well said. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Biggs Posted May 9, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted May 9, 2023 15 hours ago, #27TheDominator said: The hardest thing for me reading your threads is how much good advice you get. And don't take. Being bitter is only going to isolate you and make your life shorter and more miserable. Be the best person you can be and you will see how quickly you can make friends and how the old ones flock back. There are people on this board with way more money than me and others with way less. It does not determine how good any of our lives is. If you lived your life thinking these people were your best friends and they ditched you that fast, consider it a blessing. If you find it impossible to look on the bright side, get counseling. It certainly should be warranted and you were a public servant, so your coverage should at least be decent. Spot on. Life is meant to be lived. None of us are getting out of it unscathed or alive. If you live long enough you will lose loved ones, friends, spouses and maybe even children. You have to figure out how to live with the burdens and pain life throws at you. Sadly Joe seems vested in being a victim. He needs to get professional help. That's not an attack, that's just the reality of the situation. There's no shame in needing some help when life becomes overwhelming. 5 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
batman10023 Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 On 5/6/2023 at 11:38 PM, joewilly12 said: She’s fighting paying me alimony and her pension assets … the courts are closed to divorce trials .. she feels she owes me nothing her marriage settlement agreement was garbage I won’t accept it …. I helped get through college financially and helped her pay to get masters degree .. I had to retire because of multiple back surgeries … when do they expect the courts to reopen? have you tried mediation? it should be pretty straightforward i would think. how old are you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly12 Posted May 9, 2023 Author Share Posted May 9, 2023 1 hour ago, batman10023 said: when do they expect the courts to reopen? have you tried mediation? it should be pretty straightforward i would think. how old are you? No clue moratorium on all divorce trials it’s in all the news… we can’t agree on anything … pensions alimony asset distribution I thought so too .. I’m 59 … it’s as ugly as it can get she involved children family friends former neighbors co-workers … crazy it takes its toll on a person. She planned this for years she initiated but she thinks she’s above the laws….. mediation was a joke waste of time … she vacated the home took everything anything she wanted failed to agree to equitable distribution… big part is she has a very unethical lawyer who hates to lose uses dirty tactics my lawyers claim …. She took say $30k in contents will cost me $40k to get them back or fight her… Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
batman10023 Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 54 minutes ago, joewilly12 said: No clue moratorium on all divorce trials it’s in all the news… we can’t agree on anything … pensions alimony asset distribution I thought so too .. I’m 59 … it’s as ugly as it can get she involved children family friends former neighbors co-workers … crazy it takes its toll on a person. She planned this for years she initiated but she thinks she’s above the laws….. mediation was a joke waste of time … she vacated the home took everything anything she wanted failed to agree to equitable distribution… big part is she has a very unethical lawyer who hates to lose uses dirty tactics my lawyers claim …. She took say $30k in contents will cost me $40k to get them back or fight her… my friend is going thru similar. the issue is always the legal costs are so expensive. the asset distribution should be very straightforward: home, savings and retirement assets should be split 50/50. there is nothing to fight about. you need a better lawyer it seems. that being said, if she is willing to do 50/50 on house, savings - is she just fighting on pension assets? what has she proposed? is it close to 50/50 that you can just walk away with a small "loss" and move on with your life? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly12 Posted May 9, 2023 Author Share Posted May 9, 2023 27 minutes ago, batman10023 said: my friend is going thru similar. the issue is always the legal costs are so expensive. the asset distribution should be very straightforward: home, savings and retirement assets should be split 50/50. there is nothing to fight about. you need a better lawyer it seems. that being said, if she is willing to do 50/50 on house, savings - is she just fighting on pension assets? what has she proposed? is it close to 50/50 that you can just walk away with a small "loss" and move on with your life? The loss is a lot more if it were fair 50/50 it would be over … she’s narcissistic wants to win everything anything possible.. the home profit has bern equally divided the real estate lawyers ignored the divorce lawyers mainly hers trying hold all the money… she feels I’m not entitled to anything of hers all after she just about took everything of mine … she took half of all bank accounts the day she declared a war … her lawyer and her are trying to intimidate me wear me down … my lawyer is very familiar with him … he’s at his 5th firm in 15 years …. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
batman10023 Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 1 hour ago, joewilly12 said: The loss is a lot more if it were fair 50/50 it would be over … she’s narcissistic wants to win everything anything possible.. the home profit has bern equally divided the real estate lawyers ignored the divorce lawyers mainly hers trying hold all the money… she feels I’m not entitled to anything of hers all after she just about took everything of mine … she took half of all bank accounts the day she declared a war … her lawyer and her are trying to intimidate me wear me down … my lawyer is very familiar with him … he’s at his 5th firm in 15 years …. so outside of the pension issue 50/50? so it's really just one thing you guys are fighting over? I would think you have several years to figure out the pension stuff - unless it's already paying out now. personally for me, unless the pension is a huge amount, i would just settle for 40 or 45% and be done with it and move on with my life. but only you can answer that question. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly12 Posted May 9, 2023 Author Share Posted May 9, 2023 41 minutes ago, batman10023 said: so outside of the pension issue 50/50? so it's really just one thing you guys are fighting over? I would think you have several years to figure out the pension stuff - unless it's already paying out now. personally for me, unless the pension is a huge amount, i would just settle for 40 or 45% and be done with it and move on with my life. but only you can answer that question. My pension is in pay status hers isn’t …she has pension 401k other add ons … she’s refusing to cooperate .. I volunteered 40 years in the fire department she wants my rewards money and death benefit …. She is scratching clawing at everything… she owes me alimony laws say possibly $1800 month she’s offering $0 …. Can’t compromise on these terms … come to find out last mediator is close personal friends with her attorneys law firms owner … can you say conflict of interest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Ghost Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 Joe, a little tough love here… she ain’t taking you back. You need to stop thinking she might. One more piece of advice you shouldn’t really need, but I have a feeling you do and should’ve gotten back when this started is your soon to be ex is your children’s mom. They don’t want to hear you talking about her the way you do here, and I think that’s what you did to turn them off. As for your friends? Divorce is hard, and we all like to think ours is especially so. In time you’ll learn it wasn’t that different from most.. There will come a day when someone you know goes on endlessly about their ex and their divorce, and you’ll be looking to avoid them too. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly12 Posted May 9, 2023 Author Share Posted May 9, 2023 6 minutes ago, Green Ghost said: Joe, a little tough love here… she ain’t taking you back. You need to stop thinking she might. One more piece of advice you shouldn’t really need, but I have a feeling you do and should’ve gotten back when this started is your soon to be ex is your children’s mom. They don’t want to hear you talking about her the way you do here, and I think that’s what you did to turn them off. As for your friends? Divorce is hard, and we all like to think ours is especially so. In time you’ll learn it wasn’t that different from most.. There will come a day when someone you know goes on endlessly about their ex and their divorce, and you’ll be looking to avoid them too. Don’t want her back after what’s she’s done what I know for a fact she did ….it’s ok for her to bad mouth me to anyone who will listen including my adult children lie about the entire situation to defend her ego actions ..but I should remain silent …..she moved 25 miles away she’s so embarrassed guilty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 13 hours ago, joewilly12 said: Picked her up at her house she said can my daughter join us. No way buy your own groceries. Crazy sh*t all because I wouldn’t buy the groceries . No more psychos …. Damn that is so weird. Daughter joining for a free meal. Brutal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 1 minute ago, joewilly12 said: Don’t want her back after what’s she’s done what I know for a fact she did ….it’s ok for her to bad mouth me to anyone who will listen including my adult children lie about the entire situation to defend her ego actions ..but I should remain silent …..she moved 25 miles away she’s so embarrassed guilty I love 27's comment and the one you just replied to. You have to move on. The sooner you show your kids that you are okay with it, the sooner the relationship with them will heal. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Ghost Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 Just now, joewilly12 said: Don’t want her back after what’s she’s done what I know for a fact she did ….it’s ok for her to bad mouth me to anyone who will listen including my adult children lie about the entire situation to defend her ego actions ..but I should remain silent …..she moved 25 miles away she’s so embarrassed guilty Or maybe, just maybe… she’s looking to start over and begin a new life? By you know… moving to a new area? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly12 Posted May 9, 2023 Author Share Posted May 9, 2023 1 minute ago, Maxman said: Damn that is so weird. Daughter joining for a free meal. Brutal. Max daughter joined for a meal.. she ordered takeout for kids at home .. I asked her to leave the tip she said I don’t have any money ….. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 7 hours ago, Biggs said: Spot on. Life is meant to be lived. None of us are getting out of it unscathed or alive. If you live long enough you will lose loved ones, friends, spouses and maybe even children. You have to figure out how to live with the burdens and pain life throws at you. Sadly Joe seems vested in being a victim. He needs to get professional help. That's not an attack, that's just the reality of the situation. There's no shame in needing some help when life becomes overwhelming. I think therapy would be great in this situation. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly12 Posted May 9, 2023 Author Share Posted May 9, 2023 1 minute ago, Green Ghost said: Or maybe, just maybe… she’s looking to start over and begin a new life? By you know… moving to a new area? Do you know her are you dating her? Good luck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 Just now, joewilly12 said: Max daughter joined for a meal.. she ordered takeout for kids at home .. I asked her to leave the tip she said I don’t have any money ….. Well honestly, when it comes to that I would have gladly paid. Seriously. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. In this case you learned right away. She saved you thousands. I would buy the dinner for the whole family and move on. Crisis averted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 1 minute ago, joewilly12 said: Do you know her are you dating her? Good luck Someone dating someone else's wife on this board? That would never happen. Um, nevermind. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Green Ghost Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 1 minute ago, joewilly12 said: Do you know her are you dating her? Good luck Okay, so that’s a pretty weird comment, Joe. I think I’m done here. Good luck with everything. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HighPitch Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 So Joe I got a question it almost sounds like the house was sold. So where is the money? Did you get half of the proceedings or is it being held up? If you already got half the money then it’s gotta be a few hundred thousand dollars so dude just figure out what you can do with that and takeoff go to another place for the cost of living is cheap and there’s fun to be had 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly12 Posted May 9, 2023 Author Share Posted May 9, 2023 Just now, Maxman said: Well honestly, when it comes to that I would have gladly paid. Seriously. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. In this case you learned right away. She saved you thousands. I would buy the dinner for the whole family and move on. Crisis averted. Did and done I could never deprive anyone a meal if they really needed one …..2 nights later at her home she tried to make me pay for doordash steak lobster for the entire family …I said let get my debit card in my car … I left never went back … she called me said what’s wrong I said figure it out … take care Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HighPitch Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 Joe, another thing I don’t understand is the alimony claim. Why should she be paying you $1800 a month it’s not 1950 also it seems like you have your own pension. So if you received half the money from the house and you’re going to get your pension, what is the problem? What are you actually expecting more than that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joewilly12 Posted May 9, 2023 Author Share Posted May 9, 2023 1 minute ago, HighPitch said: Joe, another thing I don’t understand is the alimony claim. Why should she be paying you $1800 a month it’s not 1950 also it seems like you have your own pension. So if you received half the money from the house and you’re going to get your pension, what is the problem? What are you actually expecting more than that? I retired full pension due to 2 back surgeries … I was only 55 she encouraged it … so currently she makes around $135k I’m nowhere near that because I declared her to get 50% of my pension when I die … I lost well over $1000 month now doing that it can’t be changed …. She owes me alimony based on NJ law which she defies ….her lawyer likes to create conflict to run up the fees … Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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