Still hurting …..

[joewilly12]

I’m sorry brothers I can’t beat this divorce depression …. nothing has changed arguing back forth through attorneys … nothing accomplished can’t get a trial date…. Tried 3 dating sites met some crazy women all looking for money handouts meals groceries you name it …. I can write a book believe me…. Sorry just lonely bored all my friends have forgotten about me just like family …. Divorce sucks 

[FTL Jet Fan]

Going through one also JW, not as nasty as yours. I hope it gets easier for you, in time it will. If you’re ever in south FL drinks and ladies on me. 

[joewilly12]

27 minutes ago, FTL Jet Fan said:

Going through one also JW, not as nasty as yours. I hope it gets easier for you, in time it will. If you’re ever in south FL drinks and ladies on me. 

Thanks …. Mine is nasty ugly … not afraid to admit it my life sucks all I do is it seems anymore is cry … 

[Green Ghost]

33 minutes ago, FTL Jet Fan said:

Going through one also JW, not as nasty as yours. I hope it gets easier for you, in time it will. If you’re ever in south FL drinks and ladies on me. 

 

5 minutes ago, joewilly12 said:

Thanks …. Mine is nasty ugly … not afraid to admit it my life sucks all I do is it seems anymore is cry … 

Joe, fil is onto something here. After mine was settled and my daughter went on her own after college, I moved down south. It was like a new lease on life.

Start looking for an area with an active social scene for adults. I chose Myrtle Beach because I love golf, and there is so much to do here. Find the right spot and you’ll be dealing with more women than you’ll know what to do with.

Stay strong, buddy. You’ll get through this. ?.

[Green Ghost]

@joewilly12, i don’t understand why this has dragged on so long?

Your kids are grown, it seems like all that needs to be done is dividing up the financial assets and whatever your home is worth.

[joewilly12]

1 hour ago, Green Ghost said:

@joewilly12, i don’t understand why this has dragged on so long?

Your kids are grown, it seems like all that needs to be done is dividing up the financial assets and whatever your home is worth.

She’s fighting paying me alimony and her pension assets … the courts are closed to divorce trials .. she feels she owes me nothing her marriage settlement agreement was garbage I won’t accept it …. I helped get through college financially and helped her pay to get masters degree .. I had to retire because of multiple back surgeries … 

[Green Ghost]

2 minutes ago, joewilly12 said:

She’s fighting paying me alimony and her pension assets … the courts are closed to divorce trials .. she feels she owes me nothing her marriage settlement agreement was garbage I won’t accept it …. 

It’s none of my business how much $ you’re talking about, but I’ll assume you’re splitting the sale of the house, and you have a retirement or disability settlement of your own.

Considering all the anguish you’ve been going through, I think you need to decide whether your mental well being (abd the ability to start over with a clear head and slate) is worth more than however much extra per year you’re going to get from the difference between her pension and yours and whatever alimony you might receive.

Your mental health is worth more, Joe. Look into moving out of NJ to a coastal area down south somewhere. It will clear your head, and you will be able to enjoy life again.

[Green Ghost]

Whatever you decide here is up to you. But whenever you want someone to talk to, or just to vent, just tag me. I hate that you feel alone in this.

I went through a divorce years ago, but I was fortunate to have friends and family to help me along the way. I can’t imagine doing it without them.

 

[Maxman]

8 hours ago, joewilly12 said:

I’m sorry brothers I can’t beat this divorce depression …. nothing has changed arguing back forth through attorneys … nothing accomplished can’t get a trial date…. Tried 3 dating sites met some crazy women all looking for money handouts meals groceries you name it …. I can write a book believe me…. Sorry just lonely bored all my friends have forgotten about me just like family …. Divorce sucks 

Wait, girls are willing to date you for groceries?

[joewilly12]

6 hours ago, Maxman said:

Wait, girls are willing to date you for groceries?

I could write a book the crazies on dating websites… I can’t imagine men who would meet their demands …. It’s definitely not me …

[OilfieldJet]

I’m sorry JW, sounds really tough. I like the idea of moving, a fresh start would be great, but don’t overlook friends and family. They likely don’t know how to approach you or what to say. True friends won’t abandon you. Reach out. Talk to them. You gotta change this dynamic in some way, seems like change would be good. Make it happen.

[HighPitch]

hey joe

you say you met a few chicks looking for sugardaddies so I have to ask, were they younger than you? I mean its hard to believe a girl your age would think like that. But its easy to believe a guy your age looking at girls 15 -20 years younger and then having to deal with them wanting something. Im 54, and I still feel like I'm 18 and when I see a chick thats hot and 32 I think damn if I wasnt married....then I realize wtf is wrong with you highpitch that girl could be your daughter....

You need to approach women your own age, if youre looking at the younger ones. Thats one issue.

Also, move the hell out for NJ and head south. Go to the Villages in central florida. Its a whole town thats 55 plus for active oldies. There are tons of swing parties. You might be able to get your dicky sticky real quick. You need to get away sooner than later. You said your house was going on the market so it should sell grab that half and take off. 

[Barry McCockinner]

On 5/7/2023 at 8:00 AM, joewilly12 said:

I could write a book the crazies on dating websites… I can’t imagine men who would meet their demands …. It’s definitely not me …

write the book.

[The Crusher]

On 5/7/2023 at 1:26 AM, Maxman said:

Wait, girls are willing to date you for groceries?

I'd surely die alone. 

[The Crusher]

22 minutes ago, HighPitch said:

hey joe

you say you met a few chicks looking for sugardaddies so I have to ask, were they younger than you? I mean its hard to believe a girl your age would think like that. But its easy to believe a guy your age looking at girls 15 -20 years younger and then having to deal with them wanting something. Im 54, and I still feel like I'm 18 and when I see a chick thats hot and 32 I think damn if I wasnt married....then I realize wtf is wrong with you highpitch that girl could be your daughter....

You need to approach women your own age, if youre looking at the younger ones. Thats one issue.

Also, move the hell out for NJ and head south. Go to the Villages in central florida. Its a whole town thats 55 plus for active oldies. There are tons of swing parties. You might be able to get your dicky sticky real quick. You need to get away sooner than later. You said your house was going on the market so it should sell grab that half and take off. 

Excellent advice. Well, until the swing party at the 55 and over community. That sounds simply terrifying. 

[SAM SAM HE'S OUR MAN]

Maybe Green Ghost can be roommates with joewilly12 ?

[Green Ghost]

On 5/8/2023 at 1:38 PM, HighPitch said:

hey joe

you say you met a few chicks looking for sugardaddies so I have to ask, were they younger than you? I mean its hard to believe a girl your age would think like that. But its easy to believe a guy your age looking at girls 15 -20 years younger and then having to deal with them wanting something. Im 54, and I still feel like I'm 18 and when I see a chick thats hot and 32 I think damn if I wasnt married....then I realize wtf is wrong with you highpitch that girl could be your daughter....

You need to approach women your own age, if youre looking at the younger ones. Thats one issue.

Also, move the hell out for NJ and head south. Go to the Villages in central florida. Its a whole town thats 55 plus for active oldies. There are tons of swing parties. You might be able to get your dicky sticky real quick. You need to get away sooner than later. You said your house was going on the market so it should sell grab that half and take off. 

The ones his age are a lot more pushy and needy than the younger ones. (don’t ask me how I know) and the story about the groceries and free dinners rings pretty true.

I was fortunate to find a good one, yet as good as she is, but she’s from down here and was married into a wealthy politically connected family. She thinks everyone from NY is a multi millionaire. ?

I met here when she was 50, and she still wants to be doted on at 56 the way she was at 26. I tell her all the time she did get a great boob job, but it’s not THAT great, chill out woman! (actually I’m so full of sh*t here. I don’t say that, but I think it while I’m letting most of what she says go in one ear and out the other.)

But back to JW here… what he’s saying about those woman is pretty on point. The good thing for men is we age better than most women and there are so many to choose from. The needy or demanding ones aren’t smart enough to realize that’s why they’re still alone.

[joewilly12]

Well the 54 year old with 4 kids wanted mortgage payment steak lobster dinners all after 3 dates no sex…. she brought the kids out for dinner ordered take out for the ones at home … I asked her to leave the tip she said she had no money …. The 62 year old first date we went to lunch she said she needed to stop at the grocery store on way home cart half full rung up had to buy bags looked at me said can you pay … I said no way … then proceeded to attack me ask me what kind of man I was … then when I almost missed her driveway threatened to mace me… I dropped her off never looked back …. Scary world guys … 

[joewilly12]

The villages has been mentioned to me before by a friend from Florida not sure I like that lifestyle at all … there are days I wish I was back with ex wife … taking her abuse …. 

[#27TheDominator]

On 5/7/2023 at 1:26 AM, Maxman said:

Wait, girls are willing to date you for groceries?

Check my credit card statement Max.  The bulk of my expenses are from Shop Rite and Stop & Shop. I'd date you for groceries!

[#27TheDominator]

I think the main problem is this:  JW's problem was a woman, and you guys think the answer is . . .  more women?  He just has to do what he likes.  The issue is that he still, years into this, seems to be pining for his old life. 

No offense Joe, but there are only two possibilities - either your friends all sucked, or it's you.  You get to be angry and bitter up to a point, but you can't keep doing it.  It is super difficult having all that upheaval in your life, but there were things you liked in life.  Do them.  Do you like to fish? Golf?  Play basketball?  Needlepoint?  Whatever.  Look at the world as a blank slate.  You can go anywhere.  Do anything.  You don't have to answer to her anymore.  Don't date women because you miss your ex.  If you want to date, go for it.  If not, don't bother.  

Your best bet is going to be to rely on whatever faith you have that the world is not out to get you, but stop thinking that anybody owes you anything.  Even when they do.  Forgive your debtors and hope they will forgive you.  It is hard to do, but you will find yourself a better and happier person on the other side.  I feel for you, man.  

[joewilly12]

@#27TheDominator. The clique of friends involved her sister brother in law they had no friends of their own so they squeezed in on my childhood friends … so her sister drags my ex everywhere with them I don’t talk to them anymore or the ex … that causes the issues friction most of my former childhood friends have turned out to be 100% backstabber phonies…. My x planned this since 2019 put together a team my children family friends neighbors you name it …. She cried wolf when there was no wolf to be found …. She was the wolf but quickly turned it on me textbook 101 along with lawyer help…. 

[#27TheDominator]

2 minutes ago, joewilly12 said:

@#27TheDominator. The clique of friends involved her sister brother in law they had no friends of their own so they squeezed in on my childhood friends … so her sister drags my ex everywhere with them I don’t talk to them anymore or the ex … that causes the issues friction most of my former childhood friends have turned out to be 100% backstabber phonies…. My x planned this since 2019 put together a team my children family friends neighbors you name it …. She cried wolf when there was no wolf to be found …. She was the wolf but quickly turned it on me textbook 101 along with lawyer help…. 

The hardest thing for me reading your threads is how much good advice you get.  And don't take. 

Being bitter is only going to isolate you and make your life shorter and more miserable.  Be the best person you can be and you will see how quickly you can make friends and how the old ones flock back.  There are people on this board with way more money than me and others with way less.  It does not determine how good any of our lives is.  If you lived your life thinking these people were your best friends and they ditched you that fast, consider it a blessing.  If you find it impossible to look on the bright side, get counseling.  It certainly should be warranted and you were a public servant, so your coverage should at least be decent.

[Maxman]

On 5/7/2023 at 8:00 AM, joewilly12 said:

I could write a book the crazies on dating websites… I can’t imagine men who would meet their demands …. It’s definitely not me …

Wait, you aren't willing to date girls for groceries?

[Maxman]

4 hours ago, joewilly12 said:

Well the 54 year old with 4 kids wanted mortgage payment steak lobster dinners all after 3 dates no sex…. she brought the kids out for dinner ordered take out for the ones at home … I asked her to leave the tip she said she had no money …. The 62 year old first date we went to lunch she said she needed to stop at the grocery store on way home cart half full rung up had to buy bags looked at me said can you pay … I said no way … then proceeded to attack me ask me what kind of man I was … then when I almost missed her driveway threatened to mace me… I dropped her off never looked back …. Scary world guys … 

Wait, you agreed to a date with a 62 year old?

[joewilly12]

8 minutes ago, Maxman said:

Wait, you agreed to a date with a 62 year old?

Max I’m going to be 60 in July … older women are less baggage kids grown etc age is just number a brother ….. 

[HighPitch]

5 hours ago, joewilly12 said:

Well the 54 year old with 4 kids wanted mortgage payment steak lobster dinners all after 3 dates no sex…. she brought the kids out for dinner ordered take out for the ones at home … I asked her to leave the tip she said she had no money …. The 62 year old first date we went to lunch she said she needed to stop at the grocery store on way home cart half full rung up had to buy bags looked at me said can you pay … I said no way … then proceeded to attack me ask me what kind of man I was … then when I almost missed her driveway threatened to mace me… I dropped her off never looked back …. Scary world guys … 

Wow f them bitches

[HighPitch]

4 hours ago, #27TheDominator said:

The hardest thing for me reading your threads is how much good advice you get.  And don't take. 

Being bitter is only going to isolate you and make your life shorter and more miserable.  Be the best person you can be and you will see how quickly you can make friends and how the old ones flock back.  There are people on this board with way more money than me and others with way less.  It does not determine how good any of our lives is.  If you lived your life thinking these people were your best friends and they ditched you that fast, consider it a blessing.  If you find it impossible to look on the bright side, get counseling.  It certainly should be warranted and you were a public servant, so your coverage should at least be decent.

Well its tough cus hes depressed.

joe go see a doctor and consider happy pills. Not forever just for a year or two

[HighPitch]

5 hours ago, joewilly12 said:

The villages has been mentioned to me before by a friend from Florida not sure I like that lifestyle at all … there are days I wish I was back with ex wife … taking her abuse …. 

No u go to the villages. Go to a party. Get nekked. Drink some vodka based sweet drinks. Let margaret climb on top and play with betty next to you. Watch the others. Trade off with another dude cus irene likes in hard from behind. Live it up buddy

[Hal N of Provo]

Lots of awesome advice.

@joewilly12 time for bad advice. I hope you take it and tell me all about it.

You’ve had plenty of time to come up with a new dream of your own and haven’t yet.

Why not live mine?

Saltwater flats fishing all day 3-4 times a week and doing nothing the other days.  See a movie.  Buy groceries.  Wash a car.   That’s it those days - 1 thing a day.  
 

Where? Corpus Christi Texas. For the weather - low cost - and fishing.  Florida will work too, but this is my dream, so it’s Texas.

No women for a while.  Marry the sea for a few months to start the new dream.

If not this dream time to throw yourself ridiculously into something else.   Set an alarm and go early and go hard with a schedule like that 3-4 Days a week.  It will make doing nothing amazing on the other days.

[joewilly12]

1 hour ago, Hal N of Provo said:

Lots of awesome advice.

@joewilly12 time for bad advice. I hope you take it and tell me all about it.

You’ve had plenty of time to come up with a new dream of your own and haven’t yet.

Why not live mine?

Saltwater flats fishing all day 3-4 times a week and doing nothing the other days.  See a movie.  Buy groceries.  Wash a car.   That’s it those days - 1 thing a day.  
 

Where? Corpus Christi Texas. For the weather - low cost - and fishing.  Florida will work too, but this is my dream, so it’s Texas.

No women for a while.  Marry the sea for a few months to start the new dream.

If not this dream time to throw yourself ridiculously into something else.   Set an alarm and go early and go hard with a schedule like that 3-4 Days a week.  It will make doing nothing amazing on the other days.

I don’t fish or hunt ….

[Hal N of Provo]

42 minutes ago, joewilly12 said:

I don’t fish or hunt ….

YET.  You don’t hunt or fish YET.  
 

Rule 1) Fish are everywhere sometimes but in some places lots of the time.  (Fish where they are lots of the time at the right time.) 

Rule 2) If you can use the same bait they are feeding on, you catch more.

This weeks prep:

Buy a 4 foot cast net.  

With Your back, 3 throws a day into the grass every other day to start.   <5 min.  Modify the throw to take your back out of it.  
 

-Or- 

Find another hobby to try and tell us about it.  YOUR new potential dream.  Small step.  Nothing big or expensive to try it out.  But tell us about it.   Maybe just buy a cheap book about the hobby - or watch YouTube videos for free   

 

[Jetsfan80]

53 minutes ago, joewilly12 said:

I don’t fish or hunt ….

So what DO you like to do?  Or what have you always wanted to try?  Do those things.  Take a leap of faith.  

[HighPitch]

Hal is right youve got to try new stuff. Get out of your comfort zone. Drive cross country. Camp a lot. Go to music festivals lots of fun friendly ppl there. Try sailing. Try fishing. Do something u need to get out of nj

[Hal N of Provo]

Find a video about a hobby you want to try.  

You can do this.

Something short like this: