if someone needed some sort of help...

[oktaren]

pretty simple question...

this is in response to the old man getting beat to **** while quite a few people just stood by and watched

if someone was in some sort of danger or need of help...do you help? this can be anything from the story above, to someone needing a jump for their car at a gas station or something.

in watching human interaction, ive come to the realization that less than 10% of the time people are willing to help someone else.

so, do you help the person, sit back and watch or just mind your own business?

[joebabyny]

pretty simple question...

this is in response to the old man getting beat to **** while quite a few people just stood by and watched

if someone was in some sort of danger or need of help...do you help? this can be anything from the story above, to someone needing a jump for their car at a gas station or something.

in watching human interaction, ive come to the realization that less than 10% of the time people are willing to help someone else.

so, do you help the person, sit back and watch or just mind your own business?

I am generally fine with speaking out if I see someone getting messed with for no reason and the person obviously can not handle themself. A few months ago I was on the subway heading out to Bklyn to meet up with this cute little blonde, and of course my mind was wondering there so I totally messed up and ended up in a dump of a station in a rough section of brooklyn. The station was nearly deserted, but then I hear the mouths of a group of punks talking #### to someone, and when they got to the platform, is was a bunch of ghetto thugs, 3, totaly harassing some hisidic jewish kid. The kid was just a total mess, like 15 years old and a skinny little toothpick with cokebottle glasses, and the thugs were just your average 18 year old punk ghetto black kids who have seen one too many gangsta videos on tv. Anyway, they were saying some horrible stuff to the kid and the few bystanders were just making like they didn't see or hear it. I started out by just staring them down, then as soon as i felt one of them was going to say something to me, i just smirked and walked up to them and said i was trying to decide which one i was going to toss into the oncoming train, and which one i was going to take the eyeballs from. Of course the exact phrases I said I just can't say here, but it was definitely effective.They left the kid alone and decided to wait for the next train after me. Of course it all could have blown up in my face if one of them had a gun or something, but sometimes I just lose my temper and my common sense with it.

[oktaren]

I am generally fine with speaking out if I see someone getting messed with for no reason and the person obviously can not handle themself. A few months ago I was on the subway heading out to Bklyn to meet up with this cute little blonde, and of course my mind was wondering there so I totally messed up and ended up in a dump of a station in a rough section of brooklyn. The station was nearly deserted, but then I hear the mouths of a group of punks talking #### to someone, and when they got to the platform, is was a bunch of ghetto thugs, 3, totaly harassing some hisidic jewish kid. The kid was just a total mess, like 15 years old and a skinny little toothpick with cokebottle glasses, and the thugs were just your average 18 year old punk ghetto black kids who have seen one too many gangsta videos on tv. Anyway, they were saying some horrible stuff to the kid and the few bystanders were just making like they didn't see or hear it. I started out by just staring them down, then as soon as i felt one of them was going to say something to me, i just smirked and walked up to them and said i was trying to decide which one i was going to toss into the oncoming train, and which one i was going to take the eyeballs from. Of course the exact phrases I said I just can't say here, but it was definitely effective.They left the kid alone and decided to wait for the next train after me. Of course it all could have blown up in my face if one of them had a gun or something, but sometimes I just lose my temper and my common sense with it.

gotta give you props man. not many people are willing to do anything. it is some times dangerous, but i know if i was in that situation i would want help too. we need more people like you

i ALWAYS help. i can't remember a situation in which someone asked for help or even looked to me like they needed help and i didn't at least try to find someone who could fix it.

[ECURB]

I am generally fine with speaking out if I see someone getting messed with for no reason and the person obviously can not handle themself. A few months ago I was on the subway heading out to Bklyn to meet up with this cute little blonde, and of course my mind was wondering there so I totally messed up and ended up in a dump of a station in a rough section of brooklyn. The station was nearly deserted, but then I hear the mouths of a group of punks talking #### to someone, and when they got to the platform, is was a bunch of ghetto thugs, 3, totaly harassing some hisidic jewish kid. The kid was just a total mess, like 15 years old and a skinny little toothpick with cokebottle glasses, and the thugs were just your average 18 year old punk ghetto black kids who have seen one too many gangsta videos on tv. Anyway, they were saying some horrible stuff to the kid and the few bystanders were just making like they didn't see or hear it. I started out by just staring them down, then as soon as i felt one of them was going to say something to me, i just smirked and walked up to them and said i was trying to decide which one i was going to toss into the oncoming train, and which one i was going to take the eyeballs from. Of course the exact phrases I said I just can't say here, but it was definitely effective.They left the kid alone and decided to wait for the next train after me. Of course it all could have blown up in my face if one of them had a gun or something, but sometimes I just lose my temper and my common sense with it.

Good stuff... I almost lost some teeth defending someone like that once...

[Smizzy]

I have always been one to lend a helping hand. Flat tire...need change at the store....you name it. I like to help.

[oktaren]

well, im glad to hear all this, not suprised, since i figured those would wouldn't help wouldn't want to say it. but, its nice to know that others out there will help people out.

just the other day someones car died here at a gas station in the pgh and the guy came in to ask if anyone had a pair of jumper cables, the cashier actually TOLD HIM TO LEAVE IF HE WASN'T PURCHASING SOMETHING! then she turns to me and says, "can you believe that, like its my fault he has car problems." i told her she didn't have to be a bitch about it and left my **** at the counter and went across the street to a different gas station. i didn't have cables but i at least tried to find someone who did.

[Smizzy]

Ive notcied that people don't expect to be helped anymore. If I hold the door for someone or bless someone when the sneeze...they usually look at me with shock.

Sad really.

[oktaren]

Ive notcied that people don't expect to be helped anymore. If I hold the door for someone or bless someone when the sneeze...they usually look at me with shock.

Sad really.

yeah, i have noticed that too, especially since moving to pittsburgh from a very small town. i hold the door for everyone and no one expects it here. not that the people aren't nice here or anything, they just aren't really helpful at all.

[Smizzy]

The only thing I hate is when you hold the door open for someone and they totally ignore you. No thank you,no eye contact,nothing. The just zip thru the open door like you are their doorman.

[Jetsfan80]

Fantastic topic. Helping behaviors have been under scrutiny for years ever since the "Kitty Genovese" case in 1964. She was brutally murdered near her apartment despite at least a dozen bystanders hearing or seeing the attacks taking place. For more information on this, see the following: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitty_Genovese

This social psychological phenomena led to further studies on helping behavior. Numerous factors influence whether or not a person will help another in need:

1) Time constraints: Is the person in a rush to get somewhere?

2) How many bystanders are around? Studies have shown that the MORE people available to help, the LESS likely that help will be received. People tend to defer responsibility to others and assume "someone else" will help.

3) Ability to help: If a victim is suffocating, do you know how to perform CPR? If not, you may be less likely to try to help. If you don't know HOW to help the person, you probably will not.

4) Number of professionals in area: If policemen or medical personnel are in the area, people will tend to defer to them for help.

Notice the trends. Urban settings tend to have a lot of people around, have many time constraints (such as hurrying to catch the next subway), a lot of policemen in the area, and some circumstances may be too difficult to overcome (like helping a victim being held at gunpoint).

Also, notice that these are SITUATIONAL factors. Whether or not you are a "helpful" person, you will be vulnerable to fall victim to these factors.

So in answer to the original question, would I help another human being in need? The only answer that can be given is that it DEPENDS ON THE SITUATION. If I were in a rush to get to work or did not have the resources to help a person, I'm not so sure if I would.

[oktaren]

Fantastic topic. Helping behaviors have been under scrutiny for years ever since the "Kitty Genovese" case in 1964. She was brutally murdered near her apartment despite at least a dozen bystanders hearing or seeing the attacks taking place. For more information on this, see the following: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitty_Genovese

This social psychological phenomena led to further studies on helping behavior. Numerous factors influence whether or not a person will help another in need:

1) Time constraints: Is the person in a rush to get somewhere?

2) How many bystanders are around? Studies have shown that the MORE people available to help, the LESS likely that help will be received. People tend to defer responsibility to others and assume "someone else" will help.

3) Ability to help: If a victim is suffocating, do you know how to perform CPR? If not, you may be less likely to try to help. If you don't know HOW to help the person, you probably will not.

4) Number of professionals in area: If policemen or medical personnel are in the area, people will tend to defer to them for help.

Notice the trends. Urban settings tend to have a lot of people around, have many time constraints (such as hurrying to catch the next subway), a lot of policemen in the area, and some circumstances may be too difficult to overcome (like helping a victim being held at gunpoint).

Also, notice that these are SITUATIONAL factors. Whether or not you are a "helpful" person, you will be vulnerable to fall victim to these factors.

So in answer to the original question, would I help another human being in need? The only answer that can be given is that it DEPENDS ON THE SITUATION. If I were in a rush to get to work or did not have the resources to help a person, I'm not so sure if I would.

i definitely understand what you are saying, i just can't understand that type of thinking.

i know thats how alot of people are, and that is pretty ****ty. nothing against you, its just the way it is, and that is too bad. as for whether i would be helpful in those situations, i know i would, as i have been late to work or other obligations many times just to help out someone i had never met.

[Smizzy]

a helpful person doesn't worry about the things you listed,they just help. Being one of those people I have been late many times for things and have always been the one to jump in and help out when the situation calls for it.

Not everybody looks at their watch before deciding if they are going to help someone or not.

[Boozer76]

I have witnessed 2 car accidents in my time. Both of which I immediately pulled over, called 911, and ran over to offer help. In one of them the person needed it pretty badly. What was terribly disheartening is how many cars who actually saw the accident as well just drove away, some actually sped away. It's like some people weigh the inconvenience of having to give a statement to an accident and possibly be a witness as more important than potentially saving a life.

You guys are going to think I'm nuts, but I had a psych class where we were studying the human response to these things. Studies showed that people who actually envisioned the action prior to it occurring were far more likely to act. By envisioned I mean were told it was going to happen just prior to it happening. They tended to act in larger numbers than those taken by surprise. Oddly enough after throughout my normal day I started being much more observant of my surroundings and potential dangers, and how I would react. I have no doubt I would do something to help.

[oktaren]

I have witnessed 2 car accidents in my time. Both of which I immediately pulled over, called 911, and ran over to offer help. In one of them the person needed it pretty badly. What was terribly disheartening is how many cars who actually saw the accident as well just drove away, some actually sped away. It's like some people weigh the inconvenience of having to give a statement to an accident and possibly be a witness as more important than potentially saving a life.

You guys are going to think I'm nuts, but I had a psych class where we were studying the human response to these things. Studies showed that people who actually envisioned the action prior to it occurring were far more likely to act. By envisioned I mean were told it was going to happen just prior to it happening. They tended to act in larger numbers than those taken by surprise. Oddly enough after throughout my normal day I started being much more observant of my surroundings and potential dangers, and how I would react. I have no doubt I would do something to help.

the world thanks you.

[drago]

Ive notcied that people don't expect to be helped anymore. If I hold the door for someone or bless someone when the sneeze...they usually look at me with shock.

Sad really.

i broke my foot in november so everyone was trying to hold the door for me. i could not stand that in the least, i realize they were being nice, but just they way everyone looked at me like i was a helpless cripple. I GOT THE DOOR THANK YOU! that's a specific instance, otherwise shivlry is a good thing...tons of it going on in wisconsin, i'm rather proud of my state in that regard.

[Jetsfan80]

a helpful person doesn't worry about the things you listed,they just help. Being one of those people I have been late many times for things and have always been the one to jump in and help out when the situation calls for it.

Not everybody looks at their watch before deciding if they are going to help someone or not.

Well, Smizzy, if this is how you behave, then you are in the minority. And that minority are the true heroes in this world.

What I spoke of was what affects the response of MOST people. I would hope that I am not in that majority, nor am I making a judgment against those who do NOT respond. It's just a phenomena that exists and we're lucky to have people who take action when it is most needed.

[Smizzy]

Well, Smizzy, if this is how you behave, then you are in the minority. And that minority are the true heroes in this world.

What I spoke of was what affects the response of MOST people. I would hope that I am not in that majority, nor am I making a judgment against those who do NOT respond. It's just a phenomena that exists and we're lucky to have people who take action when it is most needed.

Lets not throw that term around. Heros save lives. or put their life in danger for others....holding doors for people doies not qualify as a heroic act.

[oktaren]

Well, Smizzy, if this is how you behave, then you are in the minority. And that minority are the true heroes in this world.

What I spoke of was what affects the response of MOST people. I would hope that I am not in that majority, nor am I making a judgment against those who do NOT respond. It's just a phenomena that exists and we're lucky to have people who take action when it is most needed.

the problem is, we really don't have many of those people. in most situations, no one helps. i just remembered this car accident from this winter, i was sitting at a stop sign, a car passed on the perpendicular road. i went straight and when i turned to my right i noticed that the car had slid off the road into a 3-4 foot deep ditch. i noticed a few cars behind them that looked to be slowing down, so i decided not to stop, my conscience wouldn't let me and i had to go around the block and back to the accident to make sure the people were ok. when i returned, NO ONE HAD STOPPED, even though they saw the car go off the road and it sitting almost sideways in the ditch. it was just a little old lady and she was so disoriented, it really pissed me off that no one else stopped.

[Jetsfan80]

Lets not throw that term around. Heros save lives. or put their life in danger for others....holding doors for people doies not qualify as a heroic act.

Smizzy, good and evil are always a bit subjective. Just standing there and watching the worst evil taking place (like an innoncent person being murdered) is about as evil as the act itself. The evil of inaction is just as important as the evil action.

This means that those who take action to PREVENT such things from happening or taking the time to help those in need ARE heroes. Certainly holding a door open for someone is different from saving a baby from a burning car, but even the smallest acts of kindness can go a long way in this world. That's why ALL people who help, to some extent, are heroes in my book.

[Smizzy]

Smizzy, good and evil are always a bit subjective. Just standing there and watching the worst evil taking place (like an innoncent person being murdered) is about as evil as the act itself. The evil of inaction is just as important as the evil action.

This means that those who take action to PREVENT such things from happening or taking the time to help those in need ARE heroes. Certainly holding a door open for someone is different from saving a baby from a burning car, but even the smallest acts of kindness can go a long way in this world. That's why ALL people who help, to some extent, are heroes in my book.

well said,meatball.

[Jetsfan80]

well said,meatball.

Meatball?

[#27TheDominator]

This is a good topic. I am a good Samaritan like Smizzy as far as helping out my neighbors-stuff like shoveling their snow and going to the store for them in bad weather (lived near 3 old dudes and one's wife with a total of one quadruple and 2 triple bypasses between them.) I think not stopping to help someone because you're in a rush is pretty ****ty, but I've personally struggled with whether to help people when there is a lot of other help around. I'm sure I've been influenced by JF80's factors 2-4.

On at least one occasion I've "protected" some young women on the subway from some drunks, but I've also tried to help a woman getting slapped around who proceeded to spit at me and curse me out for not minding my ****ing business. If I feel I can help I'll always stop, but there are probably times I could have helped and deferred to someone else.

[Jetsfan80]

This is a good topic. I am a good Samaritan like Smizzy as far as helping out my neighbors-stuff like shoveling their snow and going to the store for them in bad weather (lived near 3 old dudes and one's wife with a total of one quadruple and 2 triple bypasses between them.) I think not stopping to help someone because you're in a rush is pretty ****ty, but I've personally struggled with whether to help people when there is a lot of other help around. I'm sure I've been influenced by JF80's factors 2-4.

On at least one occasion I've "protected" some young women on the subway from some drunks, but I've also tried to help a woman getting slapped around who proceeded to spit at me and curse me out for not minding my ****ing business. If I feel I can help I'll always stop, but there are probably times I could have helped and deferred to someone else.

Great points 27. And remember, its not just people who "look at their watch" and say "I'm late, I can't help". There are certain circumstances where we as human beings are just not equipped to help.

If a person were getting robbed at gunpoint, you can be sure that I would not be the first to run in and help. Sure that's a pretty lousy thing to say, but its the truth. I simply would not know how to help in that situation. Luckily, I've never faced it.

[Smizzy]

Meatball?

Would you prefer " sweet cheeks "?

[Jetsfan80]

Would you prefer " sweet cheeks "?

I would prefer JF80.....But Meatball is better than sweet cheeks, so I'll take it.

[The Gun Of Bavaria]

pretty simple question...

this is in response to the old man getting beat to **** while quite a few people just stood by and watched

if someone was in some sort of danger or need of help...do you help? this can be anything from the story above, to someone needing a jump for their car at a gas station or something.

in watching human interaction, ive come to the realization that less than 10% of the time people are willing to help someone else.

so, do you help the person, sit back and watch or just mind your own business?

I am by no means an expert in this field, but I've seen some crazy things along these lines in my line of work. You would be amazed at what some people will call the police on, and 10 minutes later let something like this go.

People will call over neighbors shoveling snow on their lawn in the middle of a snow storm, or a water spinkler putting some water on their driveway, yet last year when a when a black Michigan State Police trooper got jumped from behind by a white supremicist piece of $##&, four people were sitting there watching when I pulled up. This guy jumped the trooper from behind as he was getting in his car, the guy attempted to disarm the trooper twice..and these people just SAT there.

I'm not suprised by anything, especially in Detroit. People do not care about anyone or anything in Detroit

[oktaren]

Great points 27. And remember, its not just people who "look at their watch" and say "I'm late, I can't help". There are certain circumstances where we as human beings are just not equipped to help.

If a person were getting robbed at gunpoint, you can be sure that I would not be the first to run in and help. Sure that's a pretty lousy thing to say, but its the truth. I simply would not know how to help in that situation. Luckily, I've never faced it.

rush him. maybe its just me, but if someone has a gun to their head, i would act even quicker than any other time. i dunno, maybe im nice, maybe im stupid, but i know if someone had a gun to my head, i would want someone to at least try to help, even if they didn't succeed i would know that in my last moments, someone cared enough to at least try to help me.

[McGraw38]

I'm willing to help anytime any place.

Helping hands are sadly hard to find in this day and age. As long as we're happy, and everythings good for us, everyone else can rot, but if something goes wrong we're the first to scream for help.

[Arsis]

Ive notcied that people don't expect to be helped anymore. If I hold the door for someone or bless someone when the sneeze...they usually look at me with shock.

Sad really.

I've noticed the same thing, I usually give up my seat to elderly people and pregnant woman and they're usually amazed. I helped someone lady down the stairs with her carriage and she followed me a block saying thank you the whole time. I want to be a police officer so I'm the type of person who wants to stick his neck out and help people.

[Jetsfan80]

I am by no means an expert in this field, but I've seen some crazy things along these lines in my line of work. You would be amazed at what some people will call the police on, and 10 minutes later let something like this go.

People will call over neighbors shoveling snow on their lawn in the middle of a snow storm, or a water spinkler putting some water on their driveway, yet last year when a when a black Michigan State Police trooper got jumped from behind by a white supremicist piece of $##&, four people were sitting there watching when I pulled up. This guy jumped the trooper from behind as he was getting in his car, the guy attempted to disarm the trooper twice..and these people just SAT there.

I'm not suprised by anything, especially in Detroit. People do not care about anyone or anything in Detroit

GOB, its not a phenomena reserved only for Detroit. Human beings are wired in such a way that this phenomena occurs across all walks of life.

[Jetsfan80]

rush him. maybe its just me, but if someone has a gun to their head, i would act even quicker than any other time. i dunno, maybe im nice, maybe im stupid, but i know if someone had a gun to my head, i would want someone to at least try to help, even if they didn't succeed i would know that in my last moments, someone cared enough to at least try to help me.

oktaren, I'd like to say I would do that. But saying so would not be honest of me. If I had to take a guess, I would probably freeze up or cower in the corner. I don't have that type of mental or physical toughness in me.

[McGraw38]

oktaren, I'd like to say I would do that. But saying so would not be honest of me. If I had to take a guess, I would probably freeze up or cower in the corner. I don't have that type of mental or physical toughness in me.

It all depends really, adrenaline works in odd ways.

[#27TheDominator]

rush him. maybe its just me, but if someone has a gun to their head, i would act even quicker than any other time. i dunno, maybe im nice, maybe im stupid, but i know if someone had a gun to my head, i would want someone to at least try to help, even if they didn't succeed i would know that in my last moments, someone cared enough to at least try to help me.

It's not just fear for your own safety that causes inaction, sometimes it's fear of causing something worse. No offense, but if I have a gun to my head I'm not 100% sure I'd want you to rush the guy. Sometimes it makes things worse. Obviously, there are times when rushing the guy is the right move, but what if it's not and you cause the guy to open fire when he otherwise wouldn't?

[Jetsfan80]

It's not just fear for your own safety that causes inaction, sometimes it's fear of causing something worse. No offense, but if I have a gun to my head I'm not 100% sure I'd want you to rush the guy. Sometimes it makes things worse. Obviously, there are times when rushing the guy is the right move, but what if it's not and you cause the guy to open fire when he otherwise wouldn't?

Great point. Your sense of EFFICACY in a situation like this is so important. If someone had a gun to another's head, exactly what could I do to HELP the situation? Run over, get myself or someone else shot, and cause needless death?

[McGraw38]

It's not just fear for your own safety that causes inaction, sometimes it's fear of causing something worse. No offense, but if I have a gun to my head I'm not 100% sure I'd want you to rush the guy. Sometimes it makes things worse. Obviously, there are times when rushing the guy is the right move, but what if it's not and you cause the guy to open fire when he otherwise wouldn't?

If rushing him is the best choice go for it, it's all about reading the situation.