IDIOTIC PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTIONS

[Borgoguy]

Everything has a container. So what "contains" the universe? Does the impossibility of this answer render the very notion of 3-dimensional Euclidean n-space to be invalid?

Yes, because Euclid was a chronic bed wetter into his mid-twenties. He called it fractal tinkling, if my college physics doesn't fail me. Seriously, physicists--in order to resolve many theories--are now talking about 10 to 13 dimensions instead of the three we had to deal with. With this in mind: At some point in time, the universe will cease expanding and begin a slow journey back to its initial beginning, or core essence. On that day, will a dress code be required, or is it black tie optional?

[Bugg]

If I don't get my decaf iced coffee within 3 minutes of entering Dunkin Donuts, notwithstanding 4 idiots buying freaking jelly donuts with credit cards in front of me, the terrorists will have won.

Can anyone explain how it is you pay for low level purchases on credit cards at 18% and up instead of cold hard cash? WTF?

[LoneStarLady]

If I don't get my decaf iced coffee within 3 minutes of entering Dunkin Donuts, notwithstanding 4 idiots buying freaking jelly donuts with credit cards in front of me, the terrorists will have won.

Can anyone explain how it is you pay for low level purchases on credit cards at 18% and up instead of cold hard cash? WTF?

Everyone down here pays with credit cards all the time. It was a new thing when I moved from the northeast. Even at the company cafeteria when they're spending $2.95, out comes the credit card (or maybe it's a debit card, I don't know). But I think the rule is you don't even have to sign the receipt if it's under $25. Just swipe the card and go. Don't know if it's a TX thing or everywhere but I hardly ever see people taking out cash any more.

[Borgoguy]

If I don't get my decaf iced coffee within 3 minutes of entering Dunkin Donuts, notwithstanding 4 idiots buying freaking jelly donuts with credit cards in front of me, the terrorists will have won.

Can anyone explain how it is you pay for low level purchases on credit cards at 18% and up instead of cold hard cash? WTF?

Cosmically, is an 18% interest rate even mathematically relevant? Even balancing in the albedo aspect of the cruller? After factoring in the Arabica bean per icing glaze coefficient, the terrorists have a margin of error of .00673. Therefore, your argument is correct that decaf produces significantly less biological hazards.

[Jetscode1]

I'm too lazy to think philosophically about the questions I'm still trying figure this out...

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a

University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The

answer by one student was so "profound" that the

professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet,

which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of

enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or

endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs

using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats

when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is

changing in time.

So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving

into Hell and t he rate at which they are leaving. I

think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets

to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are

leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at

the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a

member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since

there is more than one of these religions and since

people do not belong to more than one religion, we can

project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect

the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in

Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the

temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the

volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls

are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate

at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and

pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks

loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the

increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and

pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa

during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day

in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account

the fact that I slept with her last night, then number

two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is

exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has

frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any

more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only

Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine being

which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting

"Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

[JerryK]

I agree with the above, but Hell's mass also needs to include:

-People going there in handbaskets

-Benatar's Law, which states clearly that Hell is for children.

[Bugg]

I agree with the above, but Hell's mass also needs to include:

-People going there in handbaskets

-Benatar's Law, which states clearly that Hell is for children.

If we stipulate Benatar's law-hell is for children; and Houston's Law-children are our future-hell is for our future?

[Borgoguy]

Assuming that Favre has a terrific year by leading the league in TDs and passing percentage, will the coefficient of drag impede the timely completion of the new facility at the Meadowlands? Further, will it impact, at all, on the selection of snacking--and full meal--alternatives offered to fans?

[Papageorgio268]

Thats one way to get your three way.

Imagine the splinters.

Try explaining that to your wife

"Honey, you would not believe the madhouse at Home Depot today..."

HAHAHAHAHAH! I wanna nominate all four of these for POTW

[DMaynard]

I'd sledgehammer a poodle to death for the traffic light to turn green sooner.

And I love dogs, but poodle's are Satan's pets. Just complete POS.

[Borgoguy]

I'd sledgehammer a poodle to death for the traffic light to turn green sooner.

And I love dogs, but poodle's are Satan's pets. Just complete POS.

LOL. Though correct in spirit, the brain bashing of said poodle would not impact the quickening of a light change. This may only be accomplished by the stalking, killing, and gutting of a feral pig, or boar. Further, the porcine creature may not have been named Tim, or else cooking the meat--ideally over coals or seasoned wood--to an internal temperature of 137 degrees will also be necessary to cause that light to switch, as well as killing any trichinosis present .

[Garb]

Assuming that Favre has a terrific year by leading the league in TDs and passing percentage, will the coefficient of drag impede the timely completion of the new facility at the Meadowlands? Further, will it impact, at all, on the selection of snacking--and full meal--alternatives offered to fans?

No. But it will have a direct effect on PSL fees and ticket prices.

[Borgoguy]

No. But it will have a direct effect on PSL fees and ticket prices.

If we extrapolate out using Stephen Berger's, The History of Political Philosophy: From Plato to Rothbard as the model, then your postulation appears to meet established philosophical parameters. Though, I would caution, that cement industry prices--and associated downturns in the loan sharking and vice "trades"--will result in a greater deleterious causality.

[DMaynard]

LOL. Though correct in spirit, the brain bashing of said poodle would not impact the quickening of a light change. This may only be accomplished by the stalking, killing, and gutting of a feral pig, or boar. Further, the porcine creature may not have been named Tim, or else cooking the meat--ideally over coals or seasoned wood--to an internal temperature of 137 degrees will also be necessary to cause that light to switch, as well as killing any trichinosis present .

Good answer. Good answer. I like the way you think. I'm going to be keeping an eye on you.

[Borgoguy]

Good answer. Good answer. I like the way you think. I'm going to be keeping an eye on you.

Can one truly "keep an eye" on another's existence? I believe we must also delve wholeheartedly into the soul of the individual in order to truly encapsulate the essence of quasi-dimensional reality. Even after this arduous task, do we comprehend fully all elemental spheres, or barely touch the surface of the mind/soul continuum? (For a more detailed introspection, read Once You're Past the "Squishy" Part by the late John C. Holmes.)

[#27TheDominator]

LOL. Though correct in spirit, the brain bashing of said poodle would not impact the quickening of a light change. This may only be accomplished by the stalking, killing, and gutting of a feral pig, or boar. Further, the porcine creature may not have been named Tim, or else cooking the meat--ideally over coals or seasoned wood--to an internal temperature of 137 degrees will also be necessary to cause that light to switch, as well as killing any trichinosis present .

So Anthony Schlegel is a ****ty linebacker, but he doesn't have to wait for red lights?

[Borgoguy]

So Anthony Schlegel is a ****ty linebacker, but he doesn't have to wait for red lights?

This is a serious thread. Why cloud pristine philosophical musings with such frivolity? I will answer your question, however: Only if he had properly sized go-go boots.

[DMaynard]

This is a serious thread. Why cloud pristine philosophical musings with such frivolity? I will answer your question, however: Only if he had properly sized go-go boots.

Did you stay at a Holiday Inn last night?

[Borgoguy]

Did you stay at a Holiday Inn last night?

Did I really take a midnight swim in the Holiday Inn pool with those inebriated Brazilian foot models? Or--more likely--was I in bed thinking of the fecund Earth Mother and her unending stewardship of the cosmos?

[DMaynard]

Did I really take a midnight swim in the Holiday Inn pool with those inebriated Brazilian foot models? Or--more likely--was I in bed thinking of the fecund Earth Mother and her unending stewardship of the cosmos?

You are good.

[Borgoguy]

You are good.

Am I? Is not good a relative term? Would good in heaven mean the same as in hell? To some in Asia, the dorian melon is a prized delicacy, or good to their discerning palates. To others, it is a putrid fruit akin to the unwashed undergarments of World War II-era sex workers.

[JerryK]

If French Philosopher Rene Descartes found himself on an airplane...

And the flight attendant said "Would you like anything?"

And he said "I Think Not"...

...would he vanish?

[Borgoguy]

If French Philosopher Rene Descartes found himself on an airplane...

And the flight attendant said "Would you like anything?"

And he said "I Think Not"...

...would he vanish?

You are assuming that he was ever really on that plane--aircraft and astral--at all.

[JerryK]

If I think I made Freudian slip...but the nurse says I pushed him down the stairs...who's right?

[Borgoguy]

If I think I made Freudian slip...but the nurse says I pushed him down the stairs...who's right?

It depends. Is the "nurse" the id or the super ego?

[JerryK]

I can't decide, which raises another question.....

If I take X-Lax and Immodium at at the same time, should I sh*t or get off the pot?

[ladyJET2280]

Im confused ?!?

[Borgoguy]

I can't decide, which raises another question.....

If I take X-Lax and Immodium at at the same time, should I sh*t or get off the pot?

Clearly, you have attained the next step toward enlightenment. Your last query indicates--to me, at least, as someone in a state of Quasi-Dharma--that you must immediately pursue further spiritual studies. Though strange sounding, you must give up all your worldly possessions and begin training as a stock clerk at a local supermarket or booth attendant at any area peep show establishment. The loading and clicking of the price gun, as well as handing out tokens to the needy male porn viewers, will afford you the opportunity to commune with a higher level of mental--and ultimately spiritual--consciousness. Aayubowan.

[ladyJET2280]

Clearly, you have attained the next step toward enlightenment. Your last query indicates--to me, at least, as someone in a state of Quasi-Dharma--that you must immediately pursue further spiritual studies. Though strange sounding, you must give up all your worldly possessions and begin training as a stock clerk at a local supermarket or booth attendant at any area peep show establishment. The loading and clicking of the price gun, as well as handing out tokens to the needy male porn viewers, will afford you the opportunity to commune with a higher level of mental--and ultimately spiritual--consciousness. Aayubowan.

LOL....

[JerryK]

Clearly, you have attained the next step toward enlightenment. Your last query indicates--to me, at least, as someone in a state of Quasi-Dharma--that you must immediately pursue further spiritual studies. Though strange sounding, you must give up all your worldly possessions and begin training as a stock clerk at a local supermarket or booth attendant at any area peep show establishment. The loading and clicking of the price gun, as well as handing out tokens to the needy male porn viewers, will afford you the opportunity to commune with a higher level of mental--and ultimately spiritual--consciousness. Aayubowan.

Thank you for your guidance...one more question....

If you can read Braille printed on toilet paper, does that prove hindsight is 20/20?

[Borgoguy]

Thank you for your guidance...one more question....

If you can read Braille printed on toilet paper, does that prove hindsight is 20/20?

LOL. ("My brain hurts." Chapeau to Python.)

Though seemingly quixotic, your endless thirst for knowledge belies a spiritual odyssey fraught with emotional instability. I suggest immersing oneself wholly into the inspiring oeuvre of Avatars Ona Zee, Misty Rain, and Aria Giovanni.

[Borgoguy]

Dung?

[Borgoguy]

Myopic introspection unearths a convoluted life's journey, especially through gentrified enclaves in once questionable Shanghai environs.

[cindy]

bump for damn, good thread.

[RutgersJetFan]

If heaven is everything you've ever wanted, how could the Spearmint Rhino not be every heterosexual man's standard?