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Emmitt Smith's mock draft


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This one's my favorite:

Oakland Raiders: Bruce Campbells, OT, Maryland

A couple of weeks ago, I journey to the California line to the state of Oakland to meet with the Raiders owner, Al Davids.

Al Davids hospitality. Very hospitality. He gave me a big room in the underground, which beneath the ground if you do not discover that word in your vocabulation yet. For dinner, Al Davids give me raw steak and goat blood to eat. I telled him I was not hungry because the food disgusting me, but he ate everyone in one swallow!

Later, a big man with one eyeball came to Al Davids and say that the virgin was prepare to be sacrifice. I do not know what the word sacrifice mean, but when a virgin is involve, any thing that happen in Oakland, stay in Vegas.

Before I depart on my journey back across the Oakland line, Al Davids tolded me who he was going to pick in the mark draft. He said Bruce Campbells is a "great player." When I ask why, he showed me lots of number. I am not good with number, so I do not understand this worksheet, but Al Davids reassurded me that Bruce Campbell can run faster than any offensive lineman in the history of the National Conference of Footballs. And that, my friend, is a history that have longness and bigness!


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I couldn't finish it, but it's pretty f'ing funny.

On taking Mike Williams WR Syracuse 3rd overall:

This is a very strange pick. Do you know why it is a strange pick. I will tell you why it is a strange pick. It is a strange pick because it have strangeness inside the pick and it's strange. Not just strange, it have very strange. It is so strange, you do not even understand how strange this pick have become!

This pick is strange because Mike Williams have it. Mike Williams is negligible for the 2010 NFL Mock Draft even though he was drafted a couple weeks earlier in the 2004 NFL Mock Draft. I went to Roger Goldman and pointed these out, and he laugh at me. I ask, "Why Roger, did you deny me entry in recent NFL Mock Drafts, but you allow Mike Williams in two time out of the past six month." Roger Goodman laugh even harder, so I storm out of the room and have malice in my step. Very malice.

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