JonEJet Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 MAN TEST 1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet...Faggot. 2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. Andjust think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeez you're so queer. 3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured,=2 you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or t1ts. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag. 4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases. 5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as fairy as tinkerbell. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too. 6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer. 7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetlag Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Basically unless your a fat, selfish, uneducated slob than you're a butt pirate. Explain Max then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyHector Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Basically unless your a fat, selfish, uneducated slob than you're a butt pirate. Explain Max then. Hey! You're way out of line, buddy... Max isn't selfish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alk Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Basically unless your a fat, selfish, uneducated slob than you're a butt pirate. Explain Max then. That's what I was thinking. Damn us guys who actually want to look good for our women and see our dicks when we pi$$. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BURGERMIKE Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Im think I failed cause I can name more than 4 desserts. Now you got me questioning my... er...um...sweet tooth? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 MAN TEST 1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet...Faggot. 2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. Andjust think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeez you're so queer. 3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured,=2 you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or t1ts. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag. 4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases. 5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as fairy as tinkerbell. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too. 6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer. 7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rillo Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Funny **** to me, Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barmacral Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Man, I was doing so good, then I got to this one: 6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer. Guess this means I'm gay then, any guys here looking for a BJ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bugg Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband wants to experience three-in-a-bed-sex with me and my sister. A: Your husband is clearly devoted to you. He cannot get enough of you, so he goes for the next best thing - your sister. Far from being an issue, this will bring all of the family together. Why not some cousins involved? If you are still apprehensive, then let him go with your relatives, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior. Dear Mr. Abby: Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex with him. A: Do it. Sperm is not only great tasting, but has only 10 calories a spoonful. It is nutritious and helps you to keep your figure and gives a great glow to the skin. Interestingly, a man knows this. His offer to you to perform oral sex with him is totally selfless. Oral sex is extremely painful for a man. This shows he loves you. Best thing to do is to thank him, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal. Dear Mr.Abby: Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys. A: This is perfectly natural behavior - and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. Far from being pleasurable, a night out with the boys is a stressful affair, and to get back to you is a relief for your partner. Just look back at how emotional and happy the man is when he returns to his stable home. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior. Dear Mr.Abby: Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is. A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time. To help with the family budget you may wish to video tape yourself while doing this, and to sell it at car-boot sales. To ease your selfish guilt, buy your man a nice expensive present, and cook him a delicious meal. Dear Mr.Abby: Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay. A: Foreplay to a man is very hurtful. What it means is that you do not love your man as much as you should - he has to work a lot to get you in the mood. Abandon all wishes in this area, and make it up to him by buying a nice expensive present, and cooking a nice meal. Dear Mr.Abby: Q: My husband has never given me an orgasm. A: The female orgasm is a myth. It is fostered by militant, man-hating feminists and is a danger to the family unit. Don't mention it again to him and show your love to him by buying a nice expensive present ..and don't forget to cook him a delicious meal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pragmatic Bus Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 I'm too Manly for this Test! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arsis Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 A real man does not need some test written by a lesser male to validate his existence. Also, people who go around worrying about the masculinity and sexual orientation of other males are most likely insecure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New York Mick Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Man, I was doing so good, then I got to this one: Guess this means I'm gay then, any guys here looking for a BJ? Do you swallow? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetlag Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 A real man does not need some test written by a lesser male to validate his existence. Also, people who go around worrying about the masculinity and sexual orientation of other males are most likely insecure. This post is gay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arsis Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 This post is gay. It has sex with other posts of the same gender? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barmacral Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Do you swallow? Depends on how much you're paying, I need fast cash here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BURGERMIKE Posted July 3, 2009 Share Posted July 3, 2009 Depends on how much you're paying, I need fast cash here. damn 10 posts into it and you out yerself? Crackie I m waiting a couple hundred more posts till I outed as a midget lover. You are brave dude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetlag Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 It has sex with other posts of the same gender? It was giving it the ol' chicken cutlet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pragmatic Bus Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 It has sex with other posts of the same gender? No, it's just happy to see you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vanDoug Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 This post is gay. I'd say starting a thread with multiple gay references has gotta be questionable too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thai Jet Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 This post is gay. Next time just use this ..... . You're welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New York Mick Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 damn 10 posts into it and you out yerself? Crackie I m waiting a couple hundred more posts till I outed as a midget lover. You are brave dude. Cool, I know a bunch of midget porn sites that you should look at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BURGERMIKE Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Cool, I know a bunch of midget porn sites that you should look at. sweet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharrow Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 MAN TEST 1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet...Faggot. 2. If you have a cat, you are a homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its claws, and whines to be fed. Andjust think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeez you're so queer. 3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured,=2 you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, lobster backs, pickled pigs feet, or t1ts. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag. 4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases. 5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you're as fairy as tinkerbell. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there too. 6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and custard, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a peter puffer. 7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-assed driver or to cut the prick off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer. 8. If you make a list like this, you love the ****. Fixed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barmacral Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 damn 10 posts into it and you out yerself? Crackie I m waiting a couple hundred more posts till I outed as a midget lover. You are brave dude. Hey, gotta put the balls out to get results. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BURGERMIKE Posted July 4, 2009 Share Posted July 4, 2009 Hey, gotta put the balls out to get results. cant put mine out yet Its still a bit chilly in colorado Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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