Kentucky Jet Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 Coming to an NFL stadium near you: “Enhanced” pat downs Posted by Gregg Rosenthal on September 15, 2011, 5:16 PM EDT APFresh off Sunday night’s taser-fueled fan violence at Metlife Stadium in New Jersey, the NFL will conduct pat downs from the ankles up this season. In the past, the pat downs went from the waist up. “The enhanced security procedures recommended by our office before the start of the season will further increase the safety of fans but will require some additional time,” NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy told USA T0day in a statement Thursday. “We encourage fans to come early, enjoy their tailgating tradition, and be patient as they enter the stadium.” Apparently the league started this policy before the season started. Either some teams didn’t listen, or it just wasn’t especially effective in New Jersey. The Bills warn their fans to expect longer lines on their website because of the “enhanced pat-down procedure” that is a recommendation from the league. While it may be a short-term inconvenience for fans, anything that keeps fans safe should prove more popular than the NFL’s attempt at an “enhanced” regular season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoping4ASuperBowl Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 Why not just put the TSA in stadium also? They do such an awesome job at the airports..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetsFanInDenver Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 And they wonder why attendance is going down! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ECURB Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 It was ankles up on Sunday... when the taser got in... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larz Posted September 15, 2011 Share Posted September 15, 2011 do you get to squeeze the chickies ? I might apply Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetsFanInDenver Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 do you get to squeeze the chickies ? I might apply You are thinking of TSA! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoicsentry Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Thanks to "Tha God"'s dad (or whatever the hell stupid name he wants to go by) who was just an "innocent" we have to deal with even more crap now... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spjets Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....god forbid you leave your tailgate early to go in... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetsfan80 Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 "Enhanced patdowns"? Sounds like what goes on in the mod lounge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justincredible Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Ugh, security theater. Now I'll just tuck my taser right next to my junk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirlancemehlot Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Ugh, security theater. Now I'll just tuck my taser right next to my junk. That's funny, because "The Tazer" is my nickname for my junk. Has something to do with a botched surgery and a defribrillator implant gone horribly wrong after my butter-churning accident back in '85. PM me for details. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justincredible Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 That's funny, because "The Tazer" is my nickname for my junk. Has something to do with a botched surgery and a defribrillator implant gone horribly wrong after my butter-churning accident back in '85. PM me for details. I lol'd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arsis Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 The million dollar question is: Does this actually improve security or just the feelings of security? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoping4ASuperBowl Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 The million dollar question is: Does this actually improve security or just the feelings of security? Obviously the latter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justincredible Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 The million dollar question is: Does this actually improve security or just the feelings of security? Like I said, it's security theater. The illusion of safety is enough for most. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flgreen Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Why not just make everyone sit in plastic bio spheres? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetsFanInDenver Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 "Enhanced patdowns"? Sounds like what goes on in the mod lounge. But those patdowns have happy endings! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetman_67 Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 They aren't doing any full body putdowns at Century Link Field. At least not during the pre season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity28 Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 All I read was the title... and thought... Enhanced patdowns coming to a stadium near you = JIF coming to a stadium near you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JiFtheOracle Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 All I read was the title... and thought... Enhanced patdowns coming to a stadium near you = JIF coming to a stadium near you. Ha! Not funny. However, I will say that in Miami Airport I got an enhanced pat down that was very uncomfortable. I was the lucky person to get a "male search" in the security line. Dude had his hand on my ball sack, in my a$$ crack, and was going into the belt lining of my shorts damn near touching the shaft. And they did this in the middle of the Airport. When his hand hit my sack, I was told him..."dude, arent you going to buy me dinner first". He didnt find this amussing. Then when his hand was in my a$$ crack, I was like...."dude, careful, I didnt wipe all that well". He didnt like that either. All the while my brothers are on the other side screaming...."I think he likes it". I was fully violated in public. Didnt even put me behind a curtain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Integrity28 Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Ha! Not funny. However, I will say that in Miami Airport I got an enhanced pat down that was very uncomfortable. I was the lucky person to get a "male search" in the security line. Dude had his hand on my ball sack, in my a$$ crack, and was going into the belt lining of my shorts damn near touching the shaft. And they did this in the middle of the Airport. When his hand hit my sack, I was told him..."dude, arent you going to buy me dinner first". He didnt find this amussing. Then when his hand was in my a$$ crack, I was like...."dude, careful, I didnt wipe all that well". He didnt like that either. All the while my brothers are on the other side screaming...."I think he likes it". I was fully violated in public. Didnt even put me behind a curtain. You wish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetsFanInDenver Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Ha! Not funny. However, I will say that in Miami Airport I got an enhanced pat down that was very uncomfortable. I was the lucky person to get a "male search" in the security line. Dude had his hand on my ball sack, in my a$$ crack, and was going into the belt lining of my shorts damn near touching the shaft. And they did this in the middle of the Airport. When his hand hit my sack, I was told him..."dude, arent you going to buy me dinner first". He didnt find this amussing. Then when his hand was in my a$$ crack, I was like...."dude, careful, I didnt wipe all that well". He didnt like that either. All the while my brothers are on the other side screaming...."I think he likes it". I was fully violated in public. Didnt even put me behind a curtain. If you really said that, thats awesome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Coming to an NFL stadium near you: “Enhanced” pat downs Posted by Gregg Rosenthal on September 15, 2011, 5:16 PM EDT APFresh off Sunday night’s taser-fueled fan violence at Metlife Stadium in New Jersey, the NFL will conduct pat downs from the ankles up this season. In the past, the pat downs went from the waist up. “The enhanced security procedures recommended by our office before the start of the season will further increase the safety of fans but will require some additional time,” NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy told USA T0day in a statement Thursday. “We encourage fans to come early, enjoy their tailgating tradition, and be patient as they enter the stadium.” Apparently the league started this policy before the season started. Either some teams didn’t listen, or it just wasn’t especially effective in New Jersey. The Bills warn their fans to expect longer lines on their website because of the “enhanced pat-down procedure” that is a recommendation from the league. While it may be a short-term inconvenience for fans, anything that keeps fans safe should prove more popular than the NFL’s attempt at an “enhanced” regular season. Lil Bit special is a pretty big fella. Might wanna leave tonight so they will be done checking him by Sunday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Ha! Not funny. However, I will say that in Miami Airport I got an enhanced pat down that was very uncomfortable. I was the lucky person to get a "male search" in the security line. Dude had his hand on my ball sack, in my a$$ crack, and was going into the belt lining of my shorts damn near touching the shaft. And they did this in the middle of the Airport. When his hand hit my sack, I was told him..."dude, arent you going to buy me dinner first". He didnt find this amussing. Then when his hand was in my a$$ crack, I was like...."dude, careful, I didnt wipe all that well". He didnt like that either. All the while my brothers are on the other side screaming...."I think he likes it". I was fully violated in public. Didnt even put me behind a curtain. Bet that dude still hasn't washed his hand yet. HAWT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Bit Special Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Lil Bit special is a pretty big fella. Might wanna leave tonight so they will be done checking him by Sunday. Im going in with just a wife beater and a banana hammock.... and socks. Lets see them stick their hands under my sweaty folds looking for contraband or small chilldren. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JiFtheOracle Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 You wish. You know me so well. If you really said that, thats awesome! Thanks. Its a long story...but this was after about 3 hours of fighting with American Airlines because they held us from our flight for the stupidest reason ever. Its a long long story that I get really worked up telling. But at that point Airport Security had already taken a sample of my skin because I was acting out and they were nervous. I was threated to be arrested on 2 different occassions. Worst flying experience of my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 Im going in with just a wife beater and a banana hammock.... and socks. Lets see them stick their hands under my sweaty folds looking for contraband or small chilldren. Dude bring a Keg-a-rator under your left fupa. That's the only reason I got out of 10th grade. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vinnys025 Posted September 16, 2011 Share Posted September 16, 2011 They aren't touching my son and I would never give consent for that, and if they try, there will be an incident. Are they going to take the diapers off the elderly like the TSA does at the airports? Where does it stop? Where is the line? "Anyone who gives up freedom for safety deserves neither...." I forget who said that, but it's a great statement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arsis Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 They aren't touching my son and I would never give consent for that, and if they try, there will be an incident. Are they going to take the diapers off the elderly like the TSA does at the airports? Where does it stop? Where is the line? "Anyone who gives up freedom for safety deserves neither...." I forget who said that, but it's a great statement. Benjamin Franklin: Something along the lines of "those who would give up essential liberty to purchase temporary safety deserve neither." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Lil Bit special is a pretty big fella. Might wanna leave tonight so they will be done checking him by Sunday. Damn -- Faba with the b*tch-Slap, lol..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maxman Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 They aren't touching my son and I would never give consent for that, and if they try, there will be an incident. Are they going to take the diapers off the elderly like the TSA does at the airports? Where does it stop? Where is the line? "Anyone who gives up freedom for safety deserves neither...." I forget who said that, but it's a great statement. Well - this definitely isn't the site to expand upon that thought. But I will say this, they don't check little kids. And they have never once looked in my diaper. After tailgate joe's tacos last week my diaper was a mess. And when I say "Tailgate Joe's Taco" what I am specifically referring to is, ah nevermind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barcs Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 I wouldn't be surprised in the least if the Dallas stun gun was planted in there specifically so they could beef up security. I mean they do need it, but I just hope it doesn't mean they stop letting you bring in snacks and drinks, or mess up the tailgating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justincredible Posted September 17, 2011 Share Posted September 17, 2011 Well - this definitely isn't the site to expand upon that thought. But I will say this, they don't check little kids. And they have never once looked in my diaper. After tailgate joe's tacos last week my diaper was a mess. And when I say "Tailgate Joe's Taco" what I am specifically referring to is, ah nevermind. Sweet, I'll just smuggle my taser in on a small child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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