Bad commuting stories

[jgb]

Someone dumped a full cup of coffee on me on the train today, thankfully it wasn’t hot but now I have to wear a v neck undershirt all day at the office.

What are your worst commuting stories?

[southparkcpa]

I had to take a dump once in Penn Station, 8am on my way to WTC downtown.  Heavy drinking night before.  In the 80;s, Dinkins was mayor, ALL stalls were occupied by homeless.  It felt like a warm shot glass of vodka turned over in my gut. A HOT sensation in my bowels that told me I had about 3 minutes til total expulsion.

I went to Amtrak level upstairs (Conn line) where the mens room was jammed, no stalls except ONE toilet in the open, no seat, just a toilet out in the open where the stall was totally removed, no sides, no back etc. OUT in the open.

No choice... I dropped my pants in front of everyone and out came the loosest, chocolate shake texture dump ever and it wouldn't stop.

Dressed in a blue suit, white shirt, tie etc. CPA for a big 4 firm.  There I was squatted over a bowl and everyone looked and simply covered their eyes.  They couldn't believe what was happening.

I then realized there was no TP.   I took off my tee shirt, tore it to pieces and wiped my ass.

In front of the public. YES it happened.

When I left, I realized NO ONE had any idea what happened and I was another face in the crowd.

Got to my client and absolutely went in the stall and did a thorough cleaning if you know what I mean.

 

THERE!  You happy now? That's my nightmare commute story!

 

 

[CTM]

4 hours ago, jgb said:

Someone dumped a full cup of coffee on me on the train today, thankfully it wasn’t hot but now I have to wear a v neck undershirt all day at the office.

What are your worst commuting stories?

I commuted from Toms River to Morristown back before the redid they 287  / parkway exchange and Google maps/ Waze was a thing. Most days were terrible but Fridays in the summer were a complete nightmare. One time I tried to get cute and go through New Brunswick via rt1 on a route I had downloaded and printed via mapquest.  I believe the total trip time was 4.5 hrs.

Every job I've had since then was work from home based. Now when I go to the office 2x a month a stay there for a few days and leave after traffic in the morning and evening.

[jgb]

59 minutes ago, CTM said:

I commuted from Toms River to Morristown back before the redid they 287  / parkway exchange and Google maps/ Waze was a thing. Most days were terrible but Fridays in the summer were a complete nightmare. One time I tried to get cute and go through New Brunswick via rt1 on a route I had downloaded and printed via mapquest.  I believe the total trip time was 4.5 hrs.

Every job I've had since then was work from home based. Now when I go to the office 2x a month a stay there for a few days and leave after traffic in the morning and evening.

Route 1 a disaster. Used to commute from Philly to Princeton daily. One of the worst roads on the East Coast (maybe in US) during rush hour imho. Traffic lights every fifth of a mile. Horrid.

[jgb]

4 hours ago, southparkcpa said:

I had to take a dump once in Penn Station, 8am on my way to WTC downtown.  Heavy drinking night before.  In the 80;s, Dinkins was mayor, ALL stalls were occupied by homeless.  It felt like a warm shot glass of vodka turned over in my gut. A HOT sensation in my bowels that told me I had about 3 minutes til total expulsion.

I went to Amtrak level upstairs (Conn line) where the mens room was jammed, no stalls except ONE toilet in the open, no seat, just a toilet out in the open where the stall was totally removed, no sides, no back etc. OUT in the open.

No choice... I dropped my pants in front of everyone and out came the loosest, chocolate shake texture dump ever and it wouldn't stop.

Dressed in a blue suit, white shirt, tie etc. CPA for a big 4 firm.  There I was squatted over a bowl and everyone looked and simply covered their eyes.  They couldn't believe what was happening.

I then realized there was no TP.   I took off my tee shirt, tore it to pieces and wiped my ass.

In front of the public. YES it happened.

When I left, I realized NO ONE had any idea what happened and I was another face in the crowd.

Got to my client and absolutely went in the stall and did a thorough cleaning if you know what I mean.

 

THERE!  You happy now? That's my nightmare commute story!

 

 

We chose the wrong JN captain for 2019. @T0mShane

[joewilly12]

8 hours ago, jgb said:

Someone dumped a full cup of coffee on me on the train today, thankfully it wasn’t hot but now I have to wear a v neck undershirt all day at the office.

What are your worst commuting stories?

My son works in NYC/Newark depending on the day and I tell him all the time prepare for everything.

Pack a backpack with a change of clothes and shoes. 

He has his work car at all times. 

Funny thing he never listens to me. 

I worked 10 minutes from my home for 35 years I enjoy hearing the stories and feel for all of you who  must commute like this, 

[jgb]

4 hours ago, joewilly12 said:

My son works in NYC/Newark depending on the day and I tell him all the time prepare for everything.

Pack a backpack with a change of clothes and shoes. 

He has his work car at all times. 

Funny thing he never listens to me. 

I worked 10 minutes from my home for 35 years I enjoy hearing the stories and feel for all of you who  must commute like this, 

I always keep a clean pair of underwear in my work bag -- now I know to call it the @southparkcpa Rule.

[jgb]

Me today at the office

 

[JustInFudge]

5 hours ago, southparkcpa said:

I had to take a dump once in Penn Station, 8am on my way to WTC downtown.  Heavy drinking night before.  In the 80;s, Dinkins was mayor, ALL stalls were occupied by homeless.  It felt like a warm shot glass of vodka turned over in my gut. A HOT sensation in my bowels that told me I had about 3 minutes til total expulsion.

I went to Amtrak level upstairs (Conn line) where the mens room was jammed, no stalls except ONE toilet in the open, no seat, just a toilet out in the open where the stall was totally removed, no sides, no back etc. OUT in the open.

No choice... I dropped my pants in front of everyone and out came the loosest, chocolate shake texture dump ever and it wouldn't stop.

Dressed in a blue suit, white shirt, tie etc. CPA for a big 4 firm.  There I was squatted over a bowl and everyone looked and simply covered their eyes.  They couldn't believe what was happening.

I then realized there was no TP.   I took off my tee shirt, tore it to pieces and wiped my ass.

In front of the public. YES it happened.

When I left, I realized NO ONE had any idea what happened and I was another face in the crowd.

Got to my client and absolutely went in the stall and did a thorough cleaning if you know what I mean.

 

THERE!  You happy now? That's my nightmare commute story!

 

 

Are we doing commute stories or poop stories because these are kind of my most exciting stories in life...

[The Crusher]

8 hours ago, jgb said:

Someone dumped a full cup of coffee on me on the train today, thankfully it wasn’t hot but now I have to wear a v neck undershirt all day at the office.

What are your worst commuting stories?

For me it’s nobody ever drops doughnuts. Ajways coffee! 

[The Crusher]

5 hours ago, southparkcpa said:

I had to take a dump once in Penn Station, 8am on my way to WTC downtown.  Heavy drinking night before.  In the 80;s, Dinkins was mayor, ALL stalls were occupied by homeless.  It felt like a warm shot glass of vodka turned over in my gut. A HOT sensation in my bowels that told me I had about 3 minutes til total expulsion.

I went to Amtrak level upstairs (Conn line) where the mens room was jammed, no stalls except ONE toilet in the open, no seat, just a toilet out in the open where the stall was totally removed, no sides, no back etc. OUT in the open.

No choice... I dropped my pants in front of everyone and out came the loosest, chocolate shake texture dump ever and it wouldn't stop.

Dressed in a blue suit, white shirt, tie etc. CPA for a big 4 firm.  There I was squatted over a bowl and everyone looked and simply covered their eyes.  They couldn't believe what was happening.

I then realized there was no TP.   I took off my tee shirt, tore it to pieces and wiped my ass.

In front of the public. YES it happened.

When I left, I realized NO ONE had any idea what happened and I was another face in the crowd.

Got to my client and absolutely went in the stall and did a thorough cleaning if you know what I mean.

 

THERE!  You happy now? That's my nightmare commute story!

 

 

Holy shit! That was you? 

[jgb]

31 minutes ago, JiF said:

Are we doing commute stories or poop stories because these are kind of my most exciting stories in life...

This is a thread where hijacking is encouraged!

[CTM]

4 hours ago, jgb said:

Route 1 a disaster. Used to commute from Philly to Princeton daily. One of the worst roads on the East Coast (maybe in US) during rush hour imho. Traffic lights every fifth of a mile. Horrid.

This thread really reminded me how different things were even 10-15 years ago. Mapquest printouts were a huge improvement over those old rand McNally's maps, and now I dont drive more than 5 miles without my phone broadcasting real time directions/ traffic from Waze or Google maps to the tablet on my dashboard.

[greenwichjetfan]

25 minutes ago, CTM said:

This thread really reminded me how different things were even 10-15 years ago. Mapquest printouts were a huge improvement over those old rand McNally's maps, and now I dont drive more than 5 miles without my phone broadcasting real time directions/ traffic from Waze or Google maps to the tablet on my dashboard.

Doesn't matter where I'm going or how many time's I've done the drive or that I could do the drive blindfolded and roofied - if I'm doing anything more than a few local roads, I have Waze on for cop alerts and traffic updates alone.

[CTM]

4 minutes ago, greenwichjetfan said:

Doesn't matter where I'm going or how many time's I've done the drive or that I could do the drive blindfolded and roofied - if I'm doing anything more than a few local roads, I have Waze on for cop alerts and traffic updates alone.

100%. I use it for just about anything beyond local roads.  I just got a new car last month and one of my minimum requirements was support for Android Auto which makes the car's internal navigation as obsolete as MapQuest.

[southparkcpa]

6 hours ago, joewilly12 said:

My son works in NYC/Newark depending on the day and I tell him all the time prepare for everything.

Pack a backpack with a change of clothes and shoes. 

He has his work car at all times. 

Funny thing he never listens to me. 

I worked 10 minutes from my home for 35 years I enjoy hearing the stories and feel for all of you who  must commute like this, 

last 20 years...  I live half a mile from my office.  After 10 years of a 2 hour commute each way in NY.  Life has been good to me lately except the GOD DAMN JETS!!!!!

[isired]

Had a nightmare commute Tuesday... stubbed my toe on the door saddle entering the hallway. Finally made it to the kitchen and we were out of eggs. Had to have oatmeal. Luckily there was no traffic back through the hallway to my desk.

[Scott Dierking]

On 10/18/2019 at 12:52 PM, CTM said:

100%. I use it for just about anything beyond local roads.  I just got a new car last month and one of my minimum requirements was support for Android Auto which makes the car's internal navigation as obsolete as MapQuest.

I really have no idea how I got anywhere through 90's and 2000's. I was literally on the road 2 weeks of the month showing jobs to clients in cities that I had never been before. And I can't recall being late more than 5 times in 20 years. 

I would have no chance today without technology.

[CTM]

30 minutes ago, Scott Dierking said:

I really have no idea how I got anywhere through 90's and 2000's. I was literally on the road 2 weeks of the month showing jobs to clients in cities that I had never been before. And I can't recall being late more than 5 times in 20 years. 

I would have no chance today without technology.

So true.

[greenwichjetfan]

On 10/18/2019 at 12:52 PM, CTM said:

100%. I use it for just about anything beyond local roads.  I just got a new car last month and one of my minimum requirements was support for Android Auto which makes the car's internal navigation as obsolete as MapQuest.

Coincidentally, I am currently in the market for a 3 row SUV because we just had a kid and the wife is planning on having a second soon and believes that the only way on gods good earth to transport children is with a 3 row car, and have you seen minivans recently!?

So yea, basically, my only two requirements were support for both Apple and Android car integration, and that it not be a minivan. I was angling for the Tesla X initially but when I saw her building her own Odyssey online a few days ago, I realized I’d better aim in a different (bigger interior) direction. 

[greenwichjetfan]

On 11/2/2019 at 11:34 PM, isired said:

Had a nightmare commute Tuesday... stubbed my toe on the door saddle entering the hallway. Finally made it to the kitchen and we were out of eggs. Had to have oatmeal. Luckily there was no traffic back through the hallway to my desk.

As I sit on this metro north train to grand central where I will then switch over to the subway to get me to my final destination, and think about all of the daily commutes in which I’ve wasted away, I can’t help but feel envy and disappointment. No commute, and you still can’t stock some eggs?

[isired]

Coincidentally, I am currently in the market for a 3 row SUV because we just had a kid and the wife is planning on having a second soon and believes that the only way on gods good earth to transport children is with a 3 row car, and have you seen minivans recently!?
So yea, basically, my only two requirements were support for both Apple and Android car integration, and that it not be a minivan. I was angling for the Tesla X initially but when I saw her building her own Odyssey online a few days ago, I realized I’d better aim in a different (bigger interior) direction. 

Felt the same way you do 15 years ago. Now on Odyssey #5 but this will be the last one.

Were set to not get another in 2016 amd weren't happy with the alternatives (looked at the Pilot, Durango, Acadia and a few others). The thing you get in a minivan that nothing else can give you is storage with the 3rd row up. Indispensable if your kids play sports. Also depends on whether you like to be the car the kids pile into after a (game/party/trip etc.). We did.

[isired]

As I sit on this metro north train to grand central where I will then switch over to the subway to get me to my final destination, and think about all of the daily commutes in which I’ve wasted away, I can’t help but feel envy and disappointment. No commute, and you still can’t stock some eggs?

Wife and kids are so damn unpredictable. They'll go weeks without eating a single egg, then make a dozen scrambled on a Sunday and Monday morning there I am, eggless.

The steel cut oats are better for me anyway.

Right?

I lasted 5 mos commuting to Manhattan from Huntington LI before I moved in and cut an hour train ride to a 15 minute walk. Did that for 20 years before my current in-home commute.

[HighPitch]

I guess this is really emergency poop stories. OK here’s mine I was with a group of friends white water rafting down the Delaware and I had to go bad. I told him that we needed to paddle shore but everybody was lazy drunk and high.

 Since nobody was taking me seriously I went to the front of the raft drop my pants on the bow stuck it in the water and let loose. Everyone was asking what I was doing and nobody believed it until they saw my logs floating on both sides of the raft. For a second door to the entire raft was circled by my turds 

[CTM]

On 11/26/2019 at 7:57 AM, greenwichjetfan said:

Coincidentally, I am currently in the market for a 3 row SUV because we just had a kid and the wife is planning on having a second soon and believes that the only way on gods good earth to transport children is with a 3 row car, and have you seen minivans recently!?

So yea, basically, my only two requirements were support for both Apple and Android car integration, and that it not be a minivan. I was angling for the Tesla X initially but when I saw her building her own Odyssey online a few days ago, I realized I’d better aim in a different (bigger interior) direction. 

My brother in law had a 3 row GMC Yukon I think and really liked it

[isired]

My brother in law had a 3 row GMC Yukon I think and really liked it

The Yukon XL is nice, huge inside (and out) we have rented them several times for the summer when we need a second car. But... I don't think you need one with toddlers, gas mileage is another bracket from the minivans and you still have almost no storage with the 3rd row up.

[joewilly12]

50 minutes ago, isired said:

1 hour ago, CTM said:

My brother in law had a 3 row GMC Yukon I think and really liked it

The Yukon XL is nice, huge inside (and out) we have rented them several times for the summer when we need a second car. But... I don't think you need one with toddlers, gas mileage is another bracket from the minivans and you still have almost no storage with the 3rd row up.

Dodge Durango 3rd row seating, sporty and badass looking. 

[isired]

Dodge Durango 3rd row seating, sporty and badass looking. 

No storage with the 3rd row up. Also, bucket seats in the middle and no leg room in row 3. Really seats max 6.

Agree that it's a great looking truck. Almost bit on the blackout edition.

[joewilly12]

Not commuting but traveling story. Yesterday traveling down to the Jersey Shore for Thanksgiving, on 287 South in the Edison area there was this traffic clog I call it in the fast lane.  Everyone was jockeying around and using the slow lane to pass a certain car it was a white Lexus SUV with 2 younger girls/women both with cell phones out texting talking and laughing like they were the only ones on the highway. People were pissed. Use some common sense stay off the phones and drive and stay alive. 

[Bugg]

On 10/18/2019 at 12:18 PM, CTM said:

This thread really reminded me how different things were even 10-15 years ago. Mapquest printouts were a huge improvement over those old rand McNally's maps, and now I dont drive more than 5 miles without my phone broadcasting real time directions/ traffic from Waze or Google maps to the tablet on my dashboard.

Visiting Boston area often with a kid in school up there. If Waze tells you to take 15 rather than 95, you do it. There's always a good reason why. 

As a younger guy, commuted from a 2 fare zone in Brooklyn into first lower Manhattan and then downtown Brooklyn. While I drive to some biz, I can walk to my office and take the car only out of laziness or if I have something else to do. Occasionally work still brings me to Manhattan. When it does I don't know how anybody commutes either by train or subway or car for 20+ years every goddamn day without losing their f__ing minds. Burning that much time in stalled subways and clogged roads is hell on earth. And what used to be 30/45 minutes is now 1-1/2 half.

Used to be you could drive to events at MSG and find free on street parking. Now, that is impossible. Subway, as bad as it can be, is the only way to go. 

Don't miss this; subway pulls in; you see one car packed, next car empty; car behind that also packed. Hey, I'm getting a seat this morning and...then THAT HOMELESS GUY SMELL hits you. 

[Bugg]

On 11/26/2019 at 7:57 AM, greenwichjetfan said:

Coincidentally, I am currently in the market for a 3 row SUV because we just had a kid and the wife is planning on having a second soon and believes that the only way on gods good earth to transport children is with a 3 row car, and have you seen minivans recently!?

So yea, basically, my only two requirements were support for both Apple and Android car integration, and that it not be a minivan. I was angling for the Tesla X initially but when I saw her building her own Odyssey online a few days ago, I realized I’d better aim in a different (bigger interior) direction. 

The Mrs. is looking at the Subaru Ascent. We've had good experiences with their other models. More reliable than Jeeps, gas mileage is terrific. 

[batman10023]

On 11/26/2019 at 7:57 AM, greenwichjetfan said:

Coincidentally, I am currently in the market for a 3 row SUV because we just had a kid and the wife is planning on having a second soon and believes that the only way on gods good earth to transport children is with a 3 row car, and have you seen minivans recently!?

So yea, basically, my only two requirements were support for both Apple and Android car integration, and that it not be a minivan. I was angling for the Tesla X initially but when I saw her building her own Odyssey online a few days ago, I realized I’d better aim in a different (bigger interior) direction. 

Get the mdx.  It’s a nice car.  

[isired]

Get the mdx.  It’s a nice car.  

My brother has the MDX, hes got 1 kid (age 4) and it's perfect for that.

[joewilly12]

On 11/27/2019 at 9:30 PM, isired said:

No storage with the 3rd row up. Also, bucket seats in the middle and no leg room in row 3. Really seats max 6.

Agree that it's a great looking truck. Almost bit on the blackout edition.

I hate mini-vans but the new Chrysler blackout edition sport model looks really nice, parked next to one yesterday. 

[isired]

I hate mini-vans but the new Chrysler blackout edition sport model looks really nice, parked next to one yesterday. 

Even the Odyssey has gotten better looking over the last 10 years, but you definitely aren't getting a minivan for the looks.