Bleedin Green Posted January 27, 2009 Author Share Posted January 27, 2009 Lately it's been people who can't read and walk into the exit door at the store. It never fails I have an armload of stuff and here comes a family of morons completely blocking my way as I'm trying to walk out all because they either A. Can't read or B. Are too god damned lazy to take three steps to the left and go through the "Enter" doors. It's amazing they manage to reproduce considering they can't figure out which hole to come in. Haha, brilliant line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZachEY Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Lol, E, you totally should have staged a scene where you stabbed him to death with lots of foreign sounding screaming. lol Ha. I didn't have that much time to think it out. He tells me if someone asks him "can I talk to someone above you?" he responds with, "you can talk to god". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jbro22 Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Oh heres another one... McDonalds decided that the double cheeseburger would not be on the dollar menu any more. But to not anger customers they came up with the McDouble. Which is the same thing except it only has once slice of cheese instead of two. Pick one or the other, having 2 double cheeseburgers is retarded. Oh and atleast have workers that know the difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lil Bit Special Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 i work at a restaurant...i hate when i go up to a table and say, "hey guys, how's it going?" no response... AWKWARD! Thats us telling you to leave us the f#ck alone and just take our damn drink and food order. I hate fake happiness and smiles from wait staff, wanting to be all nice and friendly and overly-bubbly. Im there to eat, not make new friends. I know what your job is, so just do it. Save the happy bullcrap for the elderly couple who's going to die in a week. oh yeah, i also can't stand it when people are verbal tippers. "oh, what was your name again?" "erika" "oh, wow...you were great. thanks again! we'll be back" and then i get a 10% tip. 10% tippers are aweful...and it almost seems like spanish people ONLY tip 10%. WHY? why must people be so cheap? do they not realize i make $4/hour and i LIVE off tips? I hate cheap people. An extra buck or two is going to ruin them? Then they shouldnt have gone out in the first place. My rules for tipping are easy: I tip the waiter/waitress on their performance, not on the cook or anyone else. 20% (after tax) is the starting point. They do their job reasonably well, they get 20%. They are slow or inattentive, the price starts dropping. I also give "bonus" tips. I drink a lot of water and iced tea. Im usually very thirsty when I sit down (plus I want to get my money's worth) and can down 2-3 glasses very quickly. So I always order an iced tea and a water. If the waiter comes and checks on us between order and food delivery, and getting me another drink, they get a $1 bonus. If they ignore us and arent paying attention to my drink status, and standing around talking, they lose $1. I also give a bonus $1 if the waitress is good looking/has a nice body/shows a little cleavage. She'll be in my head the rest of the night, so she deserves the dollar for the mental f#cking i'll be giving her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Borgoguy Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Thats us telling you to leave us the f#ck alone and just take our damn drink and food order. I hate fake happiness and smiles from wait staff, wanting to be all nice and friendly and overly-bubbly. Im there to eat, not make new friends. I know what your job is, so just do it. Save the happy bullcrap for the elderly couple who's going to die in a week. I hate cheap people. An extra buck or two is going to ruin them? Then they shouldnt have gone out in the first place. My rules for tipping are easy: I tip the waiter/waitress on their performance, not on the cook or anyone else. 20% (after tax) is the starting point. They do their job reasonably well, they get 20%. They are slow or inattentive, the price starts dropping. I also give "bonus" tips. I drink a lot of water and iced tea. Im usually very thirsty when I sit down (plus I want to get my money's worth) and can down 2-3 glasses very quickly. So I always order an iced tea and a water. If the waiter comes and checks on us between order and food delivery, and getting me another drink, they get a $1 bonus. If they ignore us and arent paying attention to my drink status, and standing around talking, they lose $1. I also give a bonus $1 if the waitress is good looking/has a nice body/shows a little cleavage. She'll be in my head the rest of the night, so she deserves the dollar for the mental f#cking i'll be giving her. And they say the era of altruistic philanthropy is dead. LOL. You are classic, BFF. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bleedin Green Posted January 27, 2009 Author Share Posted January 27, 2009 A couple of appropriate football-themed ones: When you're watching a game, with the trailing team by only one score and driving with less than two minutes in the game and yet some jackoff wants to see something else on the TV "real quick". Like checking the weather or whatever random waste of time can't wait two ****ing minutes so I can watch the conclusion of a game I've been watching for the last 3+ hours! Or possibly worse is when in that same game situation and you're dealing with someone who is absolutely insistent that you must leave / help them with something / go eat dinner / etc. at that exact moment. And when you ultimately refuse, they act as your desire to watch two more minutes of a football game is asking the world of them and just completely unreasonable. This inevitably turns into the situation that after you insist you'll be "two more minutes" that same person comes back exactly two minutes later and is now once again complaining, because the clock stoppages or god forbid a 30-second timeout are far too much to ask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaoulDuke Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 A couple of appropriate football-themed ones: When you're watching a game, with the trailing team by only one score and driving with less than two minutes in the game and yet some jackoff wants to see something else on the TV "real quick". Like checking the weather or whatever random waste of time can't wait two ****ing minutes so I can watch the conclusion of a game I've been watching for the last 3+ hours! Or possibly worse is when in that same game situation and you're dealing with someone who is absolutely insistent that you must leave / help them with something / go eat dinner / etc. at that exact moment. And when you ultimately refuse, they act as your desire to watch two more minutes of a football game is asking the world of them and just completely unreasonable. This inevitably turns into the situation that after you insist you'll be "two more minutes" that same person comes back exactly two minutes later and is now once again complaining, because the clock stoppages or god forbid a 30-second timeout are far too much to ask. 2:00 of football is like 10 dog years. The TO's, the penalties, the injury TO's...it takes forever. As a foreigner I can't stand going through 2 hours of advertisement ass rape just to watch 1 h of football. There is no other sport in the world that has a built-in function where players stand around and pick their butts while we get pummeled with ads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyHector Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 I work in retail, so lots of pissed-off-ness occurs. --When you're on register and a lady (its always a lady) comes up talking on her cellphone and talkes through the entire transaction when you have to ask simple questions like "Do you have an MVP card?", "Credit or Debit?" or the stupid question we're forced to ask this time of year, "Do you need any hand and or foot warmers?". I mean seriously, you can't get off the phone for 5-10 minutes and go shopping? Whats worse is when they're on their bluetooth and you don't know if they're talking to you or not! --When a person misreads a sign. The sign clearly says 50% off the sweatPANTS. Not the sweatSHIRTS, not the tshirts, not the jeans, the SWEATPANTS. Take an extra 5 seconds and read the sign clearly. --When people try to take a 50% off tag and put it on a regular priced mercahinse and try to say its there. Listen *******, I work at the store, I know whats on sale and what isn't. --When people try to tell you "its the same thing as the other one" even though they are different numbers, a tad different in color and you know as an employee, a last year model. ****ing retards. We work there, we know whats what, you do not! --When people see you walking in the aisle and just stand there with a deer in the headlights look instead of asking you if you could help them. I'm sorry, I don't see every single person that comes through the store. You reminded me of another one... Cashiers who ask me if I want to join their MVP club and after I politely decline, still need to tell me the benefits of joining said club and then are then surprised when they get an aggravated tone on my second declination of said offer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brenjetsfan Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 The people that drive the Garden State Parkway in the fast lane an do 55! Squeezing the toothpaste from the middle not the bottom MEN that LIE... CHEAT ....an they ain't all that A WEST wind on a boating day! OY VEY! People that are more then 15 minutes late with no 411 OUT of CONTROL MEAN DRUNK PEOPLE thats it for now..........carry on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyHector Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 I also give "bonus" tips. I drink a lot of water and iced tea. Im usually very thirsty when I sit down (plus I want to get my money's worth) and can down 2-3 glasses very quickly. So I always order an iced tea and a water. If the waiter comes and checks on us between order and food delivery, and getting me another drink, they get a $1 bonus. If they ignore us and arent paying attention to my drink status, and standing around talking, they lose $1. For me, said bonus is forfeited if the drink contained a lemon and the refill was returned in the same glass with the previous squeezed item therein, and no sign of a fresh lemon wedge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaoulDuke Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 In a restaurant, when you've eaten everything in your plate and the waiter asks you "Are you finished?" No, I'm gonna eat the friggin plate too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyHector Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Nosy people on the train who are trying to see what movie I'm watching on my iPod... it's Evil Dead 2, yenta, now go back to reading In Touch Weekly and leave me the f*** alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jbro22 Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Nosy people on the train who are trying to see what movie I'm watching on my iPod... it's Evil Dead 2, yenta, now go back to reading In Touch Weekly and leave me the f*** alone. I'd say about 70% of the people that ride the LIRR suck. I hate what I like to call the "in crowd". The group of people that have probably been riding the train for 20 years, and have jsut come to know the others that ride the same car as them. They all sit in the middle, in the seats that face each other and YAP the whole ride in about there children. Listen lady, I could care less about little Matty, and his college search. SHUTTY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jets Babe Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 no, they have NY accents! florida is the 7th borough (new jersey being the 6th). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morrissey Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Florida sucks the big one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt39 Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Getting on to crowded train going to or from work, and some jerkoff decides to take up an entire three seater with his/her bags. Even people that put their stuff on a two seater annoy me to. Everyone deserves a seat on the train. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jets Babe Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Florida sucks the big one and so does ireland. now go file for your citizenship, so you can actually vote, you drunk mick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZachEY Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Getting on to crowded train going to or from work, and some jerkoff decides to take up an entire three seater with his/her bags. Even people that put their stuff on a two seater annoy me to. Everyone deserves a seat on the train. I usually just tell those people to move their ****, if need be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohnnyHector Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 I usually just tell those people to move their ****, if need be. I'm sure that looking like a charter member of al Qaeda makes your declaration all the more effective... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jets Babe Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 i hate slackers...especially at work. "oh hey erika, can you go pour me 2 amber bocks while i run my food? thaaaaanks." it's not my problem that you don't know how to manage your time. sure, i'll pour your amber bocks, because i have nothing better to do. it's not like i have 5 other tables to worry about. CRAZY DOG LOVERS AT PETSMART. oh, my god. i went there the other day with my boyfriend and his dog. she's just a little puppy...7 months old. he takes her with him to the store just to get out...so she's in the cart with her little tail wagging, and this crazy lady just runs up to her and starts making out with the dog. did we say you can make out with the dog? people just automatically assume that it's ok to be all over your dog and hold it and pet it and give the dog mouth-to-mouth. i hate those people. people who don't wear belts. i hate that. wear a friggin belt, you look like a retard without one. guys who wear baggy pants. pull your pants up like you're supposed to, wigger. i don't want to see your ass, or your scooby doo boxers. pants are supposed to be worn at the waist, not below your ass. that has to be uncomfortable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaoulDuke Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Handshake etiquette. I always screw it up with American friends. I never know if they want the regular hand shake, the shake and pull-in for semi-no-homo-hug and slap on the back, or whatever.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiLMiCKMANTLE Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 i hate slackers...especially at work. "oh hey erika, can you go pour me 2 amber bocks while i run my food? thaaaaanks." it's not my problem that you don't know how to manage your time. sure, i'll pour your amber bocks, because i have nothing better to do. it's not like i have 5 other tables to worry about. CRAZY DOG LOVERS AT PETSMART. oh, my god. i went there the other day with my boyfriend and his dog. she's just a little puppy...7 months old. he takes her with him to the store just to get out...so she's in the cart with her little tail wagging, and this crazy lady just runs up to her and starts making out with the dog. did we say you can make out with the dog? people just automatically assume that it's ok to be all over your dog and hold it and pet it and give the dog mouth-to-mouth. i hate those people. people who don't wear belts. i hate that. wear a friggin belt, you look like a retard without one. guys who wear baggy pants. pull your pants up like you're supposed to, wigger. i don't want to see your ass, or your scooby doo boxers. pants are supposed to be worn at the waist, not below your ass. that has to be uncomfortable. how do you look retarded by not wearing a seatbelt?? LOL wait til that day your cars rolls into a canal one day and you drowned because you cant get your seatbelt off in time to get out the car.. and how are people that wear baggy pants all WIGGERS?? what if its a black person or spanish person doing it are they also wiggers hahahahah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jets Babe Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 how do you look retarded by not wearing a seatbelt?? LOL wait til that day your cars rolls into a canal one day and you drowned because you cant get your seatbelt off in time to get out the car.. and how are people that wear baggy pants all WIGGERS?? what if its a black person or spanish person doing it are they also wiggers hahahahah people like YOU piss me off, because you're probably one of those little ****ers who don't wear belts. i'm talking about a belt that goes around your waist...not a seatbelt. my god, you're so stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZachEY Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Handshake etiquette. I always screw it up with American friends. I never know if they want the regular hand shake, the shake and pull-in for semi-no-homo-hug and slap on the back, or whatever.. No one ever really knows, it's one of the great mysteries of life. Or, at least white people never seem to know. Black people have that **** down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZachEY Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 how do you look retarded by not wearing a seatbelt?? LOL wait til that day your cars rolls into a canal one day and you drowned because you cant get your seatbelt off in time to get out the car.. So, you don't wear a seatbelt for fear of going in the water, but the 99% of accidents that happen, you know, on land, well, you'll take your chances... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaoulDuke Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 No one ever really knows, it's one of the great mysteries of life. Or, at least white people never seem to know. Black people have that **** down. That's a relief. I thought there was some underground way where both dudes knew exactly what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZachEY Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 people like YOU piss me off, because you're probably one of those little ****ers who don't wear belts. i'm talking about a belt that goes around your waist...not a seatbelt. my god, you're so stupid. This guy I happened upon in a NYC bar one night last year is not wearing a belt, and you know what? He's still rockin! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norway'sWaddlingMarmaloof Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 A couple of appropriate football-themed ones: When you're watching a game, with the trailing team by only one score and driving with less than two minutes in the game and yet some jackoff wants to see something else on the TV "real quick". Like checking the weather or whatever random waste of time can't wait two ****ing minutes so I can watch the conclusion of a game I've been watching for the last 3+ hours! Or possibly worse is when in that same game situation and you're dealing with someone who is absolutely insistent that you must leave / help them with something / go eat dinner / etc. at that exact moment. And when you ultimately refuse, they act as your desire to watch two more minutes of a football game is asking the world of them and just completely unreasonable. This inevitably turns into the situation that after you insist you'll be "two more minutes" that same person comes back exactly two minutes later and is now once again complaining, because the clock stoppages or god forbid a 30-second timeout are far too much to ask. You have to be talking about your woman here right? How have you not trained her yet? My fiance does not even go near the remote on football Sundays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiLMiCKMANTLE Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 So, you don't wear a seatbelt for fear of going in the water, but the 99% of accidents that happen, you know, on land, well, you'll take your chances... bro i live in florida its 99% water ever street in my neighborhood has a canal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rillo Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 people like YOU piss me off, because you're probably one of those little ****ers who don't wear belts. i'm talking about a belt that goes around your waist...not a seatbelt. my god, you're so stupid. Damn, you need a back rub this morning? Be easy killer....LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jets Babe Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Damn, you need a back rub this morning? Be easy killer....LOL that would be nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiLMiCKMANTLE Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 people like YOU piss me off, because you're probably one of those little ****ers who don't wear belts. i'm talking about a belt that goes around your waist...not a seatbelt. my god, you're so stupid. sorry its the Sudafed i mis-read your post i thought it said seatbelt..lol plus my dress code stays on point so thats not an issue.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiLMiCKMANTLE Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 Damn, you need a back rub this morning? Be easy killer....LOL i think she took one to many 5hr energy shots this morning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gg Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 dead fish handshakes.. from women.. or men.. Yuck.. gives a crappy first impression. You dont have to crush my hand.. but it can be firm without being painful Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiLMiCKMANTLE Posted January 27, 2009 Share Posted January 27, 2009 yea i hate the awkwardness of a hand shakes thats why i avoid them at all cost unless the situation calls for it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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