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T0mShane Answers Your Questions On The Jets...

Maxman

By Maxman
in NY Jets Forum

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T0mShane

T0mShane

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, gEYno said:

1) What week, of what year, will Hackenberg throw his first NFL TD?

2) Who is the best rookie QB to come out of this class in the year 2019?

3) If you had to live the rest of your life without condiments or pillows, which would you give up?

4) Which Jets player surprises with a good-great season?

5) O/U 8 wins?

6) Record vs. Bills?

7) Mark Sanchez's season?

8) Your answer to the Trolley Problem?

9) Jets defensive MVP?

10) Revis's season?

1. It'll be Week 16 of this year. Hackenberg will come in to mop up in a blowout loss against the Pats and he'll throw a ten-yard TD pass to Devin Smith. Maccagnan will then use that game film to justify passing on two relatively promising QB prospects in the ensuing draft, similar to the way Idzik passed on Bridgewater and Carr in 2014 because he had just drafted Geno.

 

2. I think the guy in the best position to be good soon is Paxton Lynch, obviously because he's on the best team, but also because he's being brought along by two former QBs in Kubiak and Elway who likely won't screw him up. Goff is in a no-win, because Fisher won't survive much longer with the Rams, and Wentz is going to have to overcome Philadelphia's native sociopaths. I think Lynch becomes our new Dan Marino, which is fine. Just fine. Everything is fine.

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T0mShane

T0mShane

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, T0mShane said:

1. It'll be Week 16 of this year. Hackenberg will come in to mop up in a blowout loss against the Pats and he'll throw a ten-yard TD pass to Devin Smith. Maccagnan will then use that game film to justify passing on two relatively promising QB prospects in the ensuing draft, similar to the way Idzik passed on Bridgewater and Carr in 2014 because he had just drafted Geno.

 

2. I think the guy in the best position to be good soon is Paxton Lynch, obviously because he's on the best team, but also because he's being brought along by two former QBs in Kubiak and Elway who likely won't screw him up. Goff is in a no-win, because Fisher won't survive much longer with the Rams, and Wentz is going to have to overcome Philadelphia's native sociopaths. I think Lynch becomes our new Dan Marino, which is fine. Just fine. Everything is fine.

3. I'm Irish, so I don't traditionally enjoy condiments on any of my food because we don't like things to have favors or character. The plainer and less challenging food is, the less complicated life is. Therefore, I choose to disavow condiments in favor of pillows, which are very enjoyable, especially for muffling screams.

 

4. I would love to say that Bryce Petty emerges and becomes that viable mid-round QB that other teams seem to find every so often, but I don't think the Jets will have the guts to give him a chance to do so. I think the two young guys that will be put in really good positions to prosper this year will be Bilal Powell and Calvin Pryor. But as for the "surprise" guy, I'm going with Jalin Marshall becoming a big part of the offense in the second half of the season. Fitzpatrick desperately needs that Jerricho Cotchery catch-and-run guy, and Marshall is built for that role.

 

5. Everything about this team reeks of six wins: meh QB, older skill players, brutal schedule, conservative coach, etc. But, I keep coming back to how this Jets team, under Bowles, kept playing so much better in the second halves of games week after week, which speaks to a maturity and--dare I say--swagger that we haven't had around here since Parcells. To wit: the 2015 Jets outscored their opponents in the second half last year 211-144, which is pretty impressive when you consider that almost every game was a nail-biter. Bad (and really good) teams that get blown out can run up that stat by scoring a bunch of garbage-time points, but that clearly wasn't the case here. As far as how that reflects on this year's prospects, I'm of the belief that Bowles will again keep the team on a even keel, the QB will keep them in games, and we'll again have a bunch of tight early fourth-quarter margins that will give us a chance to to win more often than not, even against teams that are significantly better in paper. I'm predicting 10 wins again.

 

6. I have zero confidence that Fitzpatrick can beat a Rex defense, and I have this great and ominous feeling that Tyrod Taylor will not suck this year. I laughed when Rex signed him, and between my predicting Tyrod would suck and Mariota would bust, I've pretty much single-handedly ushered in the era of the gimmicky Air Raid QB into the NFL. I'm predicting a split against the Bills, but only if Darron Lee breaks three of Taylor's ribs in one of the games.

 

7. Mark Sanchez should pocket the $50-$60 million he made as an NFL QB and take a studio job with the Pac-10 Network. 

 

8. One of my favorite escapist fantasies is to imagine a post-apocalyptic, zombie infested hellscape where I've survived and am now in charge of a well-stocked and fortified encampment somewhere in the Hudson Valley. As part of my duties in this encampment, I get to interview and select the people coming into my encampment who will ultimately be a drain on my resources, and so it's imperative that I accurately and instantly gauge their utility. Very often, in these imaginings, I determine that they are not worthy of being a drain on my hard-won resources, and so I direct them down an alley on my right, where they (after walking through a labyrinth of hallways, are ejected out into the wilds beyond my encampment where they are instantly devoured by said zombies. I'd estimate that of every 1000 aspirants I'd encounter in this scenario, I'd keep 10 of them. So, to answer the Trolley problem, I'd direct the trolley to crush the single person, then comfort myself by pretending that single person was Michelle Bachmann.

 

9. It would be a great and glorious thing if the Jets MVP ended up being Darron Lee, because it'd elevate Maccagnan to a level almost beyond reproach and soften the blow if, in fact, Hackenberg ends up sucking while Paxton Lynch does not suck. That said, Leonard Williams could (should?) get ten sacks and make he Pro Bowl.

 

10. Revis opens the season against AJ Green, Sammie Watkins, Jeremy Maclin, Doug Baldwin, and then gets Antonio Brown. I'm interested to see how invested Bowles is in keeping up that inexplicable BS where Revis gets no help on anyone and gets shredded again. If so, Revis is going to come up with one of those mysterious hamstring pulls he gets periodically and we're looking at Dee Milliner Toaster Pastry Fest 2016 until he mercifully fractures an array of calcium-deficient bones in his body.

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T0mShane

T0mShane

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58 minutes ago, LionelRichie said:

Dear Tom, 

We can all agree that Parcells was a godsend to this franchise.  Sans Parcells could you rank the Jets coaches over the last 20 years?  

Your choices are: Kotite, Groh, Edwards, Mangini, Ryan, Bowles.   

Gladly:

 

1. Mangini.

2. Null: none of the rest should have ever ascended to the role of Head Coach.

 

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T0mShane

T0mShane

Posted
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2 hours ago, southparkcpa said:

How does a JETS fan use that to his advantage when trying to score a woman in a bar???

I'm going to drop some hard knowledge on you, southparkcpa, but know that I speak from personal experience here, and with love. Knowing that you're a Jets fan, we already know some things to be true: 1. You're not in shape. 2. Your finances are a train wreck. 3. You've got a weird dental imperfection that some shallow chicks will find off-putting. And, 4. You have a deeply rooted investment in losing. When you're talking about trying to "score a woman at the bar," what I'd recommend is this: don't bother. The secret to real happiness is to imagine that your dick and balls has this function attached to it:

 

 

image.jpeg

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T0mShane

T0mShane

Posted
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2 hours ago, gEYno said:

Bonus Question: Who is 2016-17 JN Captain?

Good wuestion. The Committee will convene on Wednesday of this week to determine the 2016-2017 JN Captain. 

 

The Committee would like to thank @predator_05 for his honorable service in leading us to a 10-6 season, even if he ultimately cost us a playoff berth with his Italianness.

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De-Jet-Erate/Duane

De-Jet-Erate/Duane

Posted
Posted
12 hours ago, T0mShane said:

I can honestly say that doing shots of Jameson while watching the Jets play football is the worst torture I ritually put myself through. I reach the point by the third quarter where you want to puke, but can't, and bad sh*t is happening in the game and you can't leave the bar because you're too ****ed up, so you sit there trapped in this miserable state of not-puking, and weighing whether or not to stick a finger down your throat, and then Revis gives up a touchdown or something and you just want to cry. Maybe I should switch to Tullamore.

That sounds alot like drinking with BP

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T0mShane

T0mShane

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Xtina said:

Why do we need a whole roster spot wasted on a long snapper ? Can't someone else do it? 

a long snapper is like a wife, in that they're expensive and the only true happiness is in finding a reliable one with position versatility whom you don't notice otherwise.

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T0mShane

T0mShane

Posted
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1 hour ago, joewilly12 said:

Tom is Ryan Fitzpatrick going to have the same success as he did in 2015 with a much tougher schedule and will he last the season as the Jets starting QB? 

He will not have the same success, and history suggests he'll be benched at some point.

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T0mShane

T0mShane

Posted
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1 hour ago, TuscanyTile2 said:

If you were in charge of casting actors to play the following NFL guys, who would you cast to play:

Todd Bowles

Maccagnan

Tom Brady

Rex Ryan

Ftizpatrick

Geno

Woody Johnson

Bowles: the guy who played Black Panther

Maccagnan: Ed Helms

Brady: Shannon Elizabeth

Rex: John C Reilly

Geno: Shameik Moore

Woody Johnson: Richard Jenkins

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Bugg

Bugg

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Posted

This could be a very good defense.

Problem is the Jets will face 2 or 3 games when the defense fails(as all defenses do) and will need 30+ pts and 4-5 TDs to outscore an an opponent. 

1. Does this CS grasp that? get the sense we again have a former DC(and a much better and sharper guy than Rex, Hem or Mangini)  that is  happy not turning the ball over on offense rather than kicking some tail . 

2.Chan Gailey-WHY DO CALL AND  THROW 3 YARD PASSES ON 3RD AND 6? Been the same thing here forever. There's no point. He's a old retread who throws the balls out there and is cool with we'll get'em next week. Why does nobody in this organization learn form their mistakes? 

32. IS Fitz capable of winning 2/3rds  of such games? That's the difference between a playoff berth and watching the playoff on TV.

 

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Xtina

Xtina

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, T0mShane said:

a long snapper is like a wife, in that they're expensive and the only true happiness is in finding a reliable one with position versatility whom you don't notice otherwise.

Thank you for the football erudition. I hope this meets with @ASH1962 's standards of politeness and propriety for this site 

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