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Betty's Mock Mock Draft (A Satire)


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Joe Douglas and Robert Saleh are itching to start the 2022 off-season.  And for once, they have the right mindset.  Instead of listening to their scouts who have let them down, time and time again, they will be drafting based strictly on what the fans want.  Hallelujah!  Instead of having their useless 500 page scouting reports in front of them, they will only be looking at jetnation.com to determine the direction of the franchise.  Based on the majority of input, Douglas decides to become Trader Joe, not based on value or logic, but based solely on the fans trade lust.  With that said, let's begin! 

  • Douglas trades the #4 pick to the Minnesota Anthony Barrs for pick #12, #43 and a second-round pick in 2023.  He then trades #7 to the Broncos for #11 and a 2023 first.  Next, he trades #11 (from the Broncos) to the Saints for #15 and a 2023 first.  Next up, he trades #12 (from the Barrs) to the Steelers for #17 and #49.  Last but not least, he trades #15 (from the Saints) to the Chargers for #20 and #51.  
  • At #17 Douglas (FINALLY!) selects Sam Howell, QB based on the fact that Jets fans have determined that Zach is a bust.
  • At #20 he selects Kenny Pickett, QB because Joe Benigno erupts over picking a QB named Sam.
  • To the surprise of no one Douglas then trades all of his second round picks because fans know second round Jets picks are cursed.  #35, #38, #43, #49 and #51 are traded for the entire fourth round of the 2023 draft.
  • In a cunning move, Douglas then trades the entire fourth round of the 2023 draft for the entire seventh round because fans are still pissed about the 1971 fourth round pick Willie Zapalac.
  • In the third round Douglas selects Monday Smoke, Harrison MEvis, and Bumper Poole because Jets fans are amused they their names.
  • The remaining selections are all Tight Ends because, well, just because.
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9 minutes ago, Hex said:

What

Betty thinks every silly thought that comes through his skull is worthy of a thread.  I'm pretty sure the overwhelming majority of his posts are either threads he started OR posts within the threads he creates.  

You'll get used to it after a while.  

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Just now, Jetsfan80 said:

Betty thinks every silly thought that comes through his skull is worthy of a thread.  I'm pretty sure the overwhelming majority of his posts are either threads he started OR posts within the threads he creates.  

You'll get used to it after a while.  

How you doing 80?

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36 minutes ago, JTJet said:

Actually yes. 

That guy Dan on the Toy Galaxy channel really gets into the history of a ton of 70s-90s properties. Videos arent too long, but they are well done. 

Awesome. I might want to watch that

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9 hours ago, BettyBoop said:

Joe Douglas and Robert Saleh are itching to start the 2022 off-season.  And for once, they have the right mindset.  Instead of listening to their scouts who have let them down, time and time again, they will be drafting based strictly on what the fans want.  Hallelujah!  Instead of having their useless 500 page scouting reports in front of them, they will only be looking at jetnation.com to determine the direction of the franchise.  Based on the majority of input, Douglas decides to become Trader Joe, not based on value or logic, but based solely on the fans trade lust.  With that said, let's begin! 

  • Douglas trades the #4 pick to the Minnesota Anthony Barrs for pick #12, #43 and a second-round pick in 2023.  He then trades #7 to the Broncos for #11 and a 2023 first.  Next, he trades #11 (from the Broncos) to the Saints for #15 and a 2023 first.  Next up, he trades #12 (from the Barrs) to the Steelers for #17 and #49.  Last but not least, he trades #15 (from the Saints) to the Chargers for #20 and #51.  
  • At #17 Douglas (FINALLY!) selects Sam Howell, QB based on the fact that Jets fans have determined that Zach is a bust.
  • At #20 he selects Kenny Pickett, QB because Joe Benigno erupts over picking a QB named Sam.
  • To the surprise of no one Douglas then trades all of his second round picks because fans know second round Jets picks are cursed.  #35, #38, #43, #49 and #51 are traded for the entire fourth round of the 2023 draft.
  • In a cunning move, Douglas then trades the entire fourth round of the 2023 draft for the entire seventh round because fans are still pissed about the 1971 fourth round pick Willie Zapalac.
  • In the third round Douglas selects Monday Smoke, Harrison MEvis, and Bumper Poole because Jets fans are amused they their names.
  • The remaining selections are all Tight Ends because, well, just because.

Rehab @BettyBoop

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20 hours ago, BettyBoop said:

Joe Douglas and Robert Saleh are itching to start the 2022 off-season.  And for once, they have the right mindset.  Instead of listening to their scouts who have let them down, time and time again, they will be drafting based strictly on what the fans want.  Hallelujah!  Instead of having their useless 500 page scouting reports in front of them, they will only be looking at jetnation.com to determine the direction of the franchise.  Based on the majority of input, Douglas decides to become Trader Joe, not based on value or logic, but based solely on the fans trade lust.  With that said, let's begin! 

  • Douglas trades the #4 pick to the Minnesota Anthony Barrs for pick #12, #43 and a second-round pick in 2023.  He then trades #7 to the Broncos for #11 and a 2023 first.  Next, he trades #11 (from the Broncos) to the Saints for #15 and a 2023 first.  Next up, he trades #12 (from the Barrs) to the Steelers for #17 and #49.  Last but not least, he trades #15 (from the Saints) to the Chargers for #20 and #51.  
  • At #17 Douglas (FINALLY!) selects Sam Howell, QB based on the fact that Jets fans have determined that Zach is a bust.
  • At #20 he selects Kenny Pickett, QB because Joe Benigno erupts over picking a QB named Sam.
  • To the surprise of no one Douglas then trades all of his second round picks because fans know second round Jets picks are cursed.  #35, #38, #43, #49 and #51 are traded for the entire fourth round of the 2023 draft.
  • In a cunning move, Douglas then trades the entire fourth round of the 2023 draft for the entire seventh round because fans are still pissed about the 1971 fourth round pick Willie Zapalac.
  • In the third round Douglas selects Monday Smoke, Harrison MEvis, and Bumper Poole because Jets fans are amused they their names.
  • The remaining selections are all Tight Ends because, well, just because.

The first two bullet points were pretty funny, but after that, not so much.  Sorry.

 

 

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20 hours ago, Jetsfan80 said:

Anybody watch Yellowstone?  Awesome show.

I read somewhere that the season premiere of that got something like 12 times the viewers of the Succession season premiere.

19 hours ago, 32EBoozer said:

One of my favorite shows.... especially now that the scrawny, balding, red head "cowboy" went back to the 6666 ranch with his honey.

 

Which totally checks out.

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