T0mShane Answers Your Questions On The Jets...

[Saul Goodman]

21 hours ago, T0mShane said:

I'm an increasingly irrelevant entity, but I see your ploy here. Allow me to answer these hot takes while sipping beer in my living room.

 

1. Punters are weird things, but it seems we have a good one, which is cool. The problem with starting a puny-armed QB is that they don't stretch the field, so every drive requires an extra three to five plays to get into scoring range, which naturally increases the odds of failure on any given drive. Even though the 2015 Jets ranked a robust seventh in Time of Possession/G, and sixth in Plays from Scrimmage on the season, they still punted 79 times (good for 14th). So, having an Australian is key. There's a plant in the Australian outback whose leaves produce a syrup so toxic to humans and animals, that even brushing up against it causes a nagging, incurable suffering that causes the afflicted party to go insane. 

 

2. Matt Forte is old, but he's been remarkably well preserved the past few years, never going over 300 carries on the season, which is usually the death knell for a back. The Falcons once gave the ball to Jamal Anderson 410 times one season and he literally died like Seabiscuit. That said, I think the ideal scenario for the Jets offense is to have Forte and Powell go for 600-700 yards a piece, with Forte doing most of his damage in the short passing game. Given that the Jets won't be carrying a viable tight end on the roster, Forte could fill that void on intermediate routes in the middle of the field. 

 

3. I have this dread fear that Brandon Marshall isn't going to be a huge factor this season. He's older, he's been knicked up already, and even though he been a good citizen here, his history suggests that he'll start to sour on his surroundings eventually. If the Jets get off to a slow start on the season and the media starts being dicks, will 'Marshall keep it together? He wasn't able to do so literally everywhere else he's been.

As for Enunwa, I know everyone is excited about him, but he has a lot to prove. He was targeted 46 times last year, had only 22 catches, and five drops. Those numbers are bad. Enunwa is a better athlete than he is a football player, and he'll never be a natural pass catcher. But, he's going to benefit from being the third option matched up against the safety, so I don't think a 50/600/7 season is out of the question.

 

4. I have a working theory about 2015 that says Bowles didn't really like the collection of players he had on defense and was just biding his time until he could make some adjustments to personnel. His most glaring frustration, IMO, was with his crew of slow-as-**** linebackers, and that affected how he deployed both his DL and DBs.

There were a lot of times where a blitz was on (particularly against the Bills) and the QB easily escaped contain or the LB simply didn't get there in time. Now, Bowles has no excuses. What was tough to watch last year was, despite having first round picks all along the DL, how few times they actually dominated as a group in a game. If they can't start doing that this year, even with all the speed behind them ready to clean up after them, something is severely wrong. 

 

 

Great post, you're a talented writer

[BroadwayJoe12]

Who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan, or Jack Nicholson?

[jmat321]

How has the elimination of the spirals affected fan morale at home games?

[T0mShane]

6 hours ago, Jet Fan RI said:

What is the source of your football knowledge? Ex-pro, college, etc?

I'm the fraternal twin of former Jets CB Don Boyd Odegard.

[T0mShane]

5 hours ago, Bugg said:

This could be a very good defense.

Problem is the Jets will face 2 or 3 games when the defense fails(as all defenses do) and will need 30+ pts and 4-5 TDs to outscore an an opponent. 

1. Does this CS grasp that? get the sense we again have a former DC(and a much better and sharper guy than Rex, Hem or Mangini)  that is  happy not turning the ball over on offense rather than kicking some tail . 

2.Chan Gailey-WHY DO CALL AND  THROW 3 YARD PASSES ON 3RD AND 6? Been the same thing here forever. There's no point. He's a old retread who throws the balls out there and is cool with we'll get'em next week. Why does nobody in this organization learn form their mistakes? 

32. IS Fitz capable of winning 2/3rds  of such games? That's the difference between a playoff berth and watching the playoff on TV.

 

IMO, the answer to all three questions is that asking Fitzpatrick to pass the ball beyond 15 yards is like dropping a penguin off a roof.

[T0mShane]

5 hours ago, Larz said:

ignoring age, contract and health, who are the 10 best players on the 2016 NYJ ?

 

5 hours ago, TuscanyTile2 said:

 

Essentially the same question but give me the top 53 best players on the 2016 Jets

All the good Jets:

1. Brandon Marshall

 2. Darrelle Revis

3. Mo Wilkerson

4. Amphetamine Sheldon Richardson

5. Eric Decker

6. David Harris

7. Leonard Williams Maybe

8. Calvin Pryor

9. Matt Forte

10. James Carpenter

 

 

[T0mShane]

5 hours ago, TuscanyTile2 said:

Who are your top 3 flight crew members.

1. The one from East Orange who admitted to a three way with Tara Reid and Corey Haim.

 

2. The one from Far Rockaway who is studying to be a dental hygienist and appeared in a Meek Mill video twerking on a doberman's face.

 

3. The one from Secaucus who had breast implants, got them removed after taking a job at a People's Bank, then got breast implants again after getting laid off from People's Bank.

[ljr]

6 minutes ago, T0mShane said:

 

All the good Jets:

1. Brandon Marshall

 2. Darrelle Revis

3. Mo Wilkerson

4. Amphetamine Sheldon Richardson

5. Eric Decker

6. David Harris

7. Leonard Williams Maybe

8. Calvin Pryor

9. Matt Forte

10. James Carpenter

 

 

& Mangold

[T0mShane]

24 minutes ago, BroadwayJoe12 said:

Who would you rather bone, Meg Ryan, or Jack Nicholson?

Torn because Meg Ryan 2016 looks exactly like Jack Nicholson 1989 in his Joker makeup.

[ljr]

1 minute ago, T0mShane said:

Torn because Meg Ryan 2016 looks exactly like Jack Nicholson 1989 in his Joker makeup.

 

So sad ... Cause they both used to be so sexy ... Pre-Hollywood Plasic Surgery 

[ljr]

7 hours ago, T0mShane said:

a long snapper is like a wife, in that they're expensive and the only true happiness is in finding a reliable one with position versatility whom you don't notice otherwise.

Are we allowed to imagine the long snapper's hot sister in finding that reliable happiness ?

[T0mShane]

26 minutes ago, jmat321 said:

How has the elimination of the spirals affected fan morale at home games?

This picture represents my experience walking through MetLife for the first time:

 

 

[T0mShane]

4 minutes ago, ljr said:

Are we allowed to imagine the long snapper's hot sister in finding that reliable happiness ?

The key to a happy relationship is to never imagine anything.

[BUM-KNEE]

What are your precautions and/or advice for tropical storm Hermine on Monday?

[ljr]

50 minutes ago, T0mShane said:

IMO, the answer to all three questions is that asking Fitzpatrick to pass the ball beyond 15 yards is like dropping a penguin off a roof.

Is that in a black  or white neighborhood ?

[ljr]

29 minutes ago, T0mShane said:

The key to a happy relationship is to never imagine anything.

 

But What if certain "things" ... Don't really work too good anymore if you don't ???

[BUM-KNEE]

3 minutes ago, ljr said:

 

But What if certain "things" ... Don't really work too good anymore if you don't ???

Popsicle stick and duct tape.

[ljr]

2 minutes ago, BUM-KNEE said:

Popsicle stick and duct tape.

Double the size ... Wife will love it!!!

[BUM-KNEE]

Just now, ljr said:

Double the size ... Wife will love it!!!

Sure, just swipe a few tongue depressers from the doc and you are stylin!

[rex-n-effect]

why

[Powpow]

When did you become a Jets fan? I first was a Packers fan when I first became introduced to football. Then adopted the Giants of the mid 69's with Tarkenton, Jones, Fredrickson and greatest TE of all time, Bob Tucker.  Then this guy named Joe Willie caught the world by storm and I've been trapped since.  

[Miss Lonelyhearts]

Jets stuff is boring.

1) what's your Myers-Briggs? Your internet persona's?

2) F/marry/kill: Screech, RJF, and a baby.

3) what are the minimum odds you would accept to bet your net worth on a (fair) coin toss?

[RutgersJetFan]

2 hours ago, T0mShane said:

The key to a happy relationship is to never imagine anything.

Getting this tattooed on my ******* forehead.

[Flushing Roots]

7 hours ago, T0mShane said:

1. The one from East Orange who admitted to a three way with Tara Reid and Corey Haim.

 

2. The one from Far Rockaway who is studying to be a dental hygienist and appeared in a Meek Mill video twerking on a doberman's face.

 

3. The one from Secaucus who had breast implants, got them removed after taking a job at a People's Bank, then got breast implants again after getting laid off from People's Bank.

Need to move 3 to 2 and 2 to 3.

[Flushing Roots]

19 hours ago, T0mShane said:

I'm going to drop some hard knowledge on you, southparkcpa, but know that I speak from personal experience here, and with love. Knowing that you're a Jets fan, we already know some things to be true: 1. You're not in shape. 2. Your finances are a train wreck. 3. You've got a weird dental imperfection that some shallow chicks will find off-putting. And, 4. You have a deeply rooted investment in losing. When you're talking about trying to "score a woman at the bar," what I'd recommend is this: don't bother. The secret to real happiness is to imagine that your dick and balls has this function attached to it:

 

 

Potential to be post of the year.

[T0mShane]

8 hours ago, rex-n-effect said:

why

Because what else are you going to do?

[T0mShane]

9 hours ago, Powpow said:

When did you become a Jets fan? I first was a Packers fan when I first became introduced to football. Then adopted the Giants of the mid 69's with Tarkenton, Jones, Fredrickson and greatest TE of all time, Bob Tucker.  Then this guy named Joe Willie caught the world by storm and I've been trapped since.  

Short version: no one in my family watched football, ever. My father wasn't around, my mother worked all the time, and a 32" Magnavox TV raised me. I used to spend Sunday mornings watching karate flicks on Channel 11, then right after the karate flicks, football would come on. This was the era of the Parcells Giants, whom everyone liked at the time, particularly my Italian neighbors, whom I disliked because they were loud and wore sleeveless T's and screamed at their wives in the street. This was the suburbs, where we all worked at being polite and yelled at each other quietly, and always inside. The Jets games weren't like the Giants games because the production was different. The Giants were the Main Event, and the Jets were playing in old Foxborough with two cameras following the game, and the awful, monotone Don Criqui doing the play by play. That sort of off-brand, unvarnished packaging floated my boat, even though I knew they weren't any good. But it wasn't fun rooting for things that were already good because you were late to it and learned nothing.

[T0mShane]

8 hours ago, Miss Lonelyhearts said:

Jets stuff is boring.

1) what's your Myers-Briggs? Your internet persona's?

2) F/marry/kill: Screech, RJF, and a baby.

3) what are the minimum odds you would accept to bet your net worth on a (fair) coin toss?

1. ISTP, iirc. 

I actually used to have a more disparate, consciously amusing internet persona, but I gave it up, and now I've sorta coalesced into the cynical, miserable **** you see today, here and irl.

2. F: RJF, because look at him. Those delts; 

M: The baby, but keep it quiet and hope it grows up to look like Alessandra Ambrosio. Also, don't mention to this baby that you've already married it.

 

K: Screech, so he'll know the Gary Coleman-like dignity of sweet death-by-murder.

 

3. I'd take 1:1 because, depending on which coin is used, it might equal my net worth.

[section314]

Who do you want to play you in the movie 'Tommy and the Jets?"

[T0mShane]

15 minutes ago, section314 said:

Who do you want to play you in the movie 'Tommy and the Jets?"

Screech.

[Powpow]

39 minutes ago, T0mShane said:

Short version: no one in my family watched football, ever. My father wasn't around, my mother worked all the time, and a 32" Magnavox TV raised me. I used to spend Sunday mornings watching karate flicks on Channel 11, then right after the karate flicks, football would come on. This was the era of the Parcells Giants, whom everyone liked at the time, particularly my Italian neighbors, whom I disliked because they were loud and wore sleeveless T's and screamed at their wives in the street. This was the suburbs, where we all worked at being polite and yelled at each other quietly, and always inside. The Jets games weren't like the Giants games because the production was different. The Giants were the Main Event, and the Jets were playing in old Foxborough with two cameras following the game, and the awful, monotone Don Criqui doing the play by play. That sort of off-brand, unvarnished packaging floated my boat, even though I knew they weren't any good. But it wasn't fun rooting for things that were already good because you were late to it and learned nothing.

You were raised in a different era than me,15-20 years earlier, but I can identify with being raised by a tv tube. Would wake up at 6 am to catch the incomparable Colonol Bleep and Bugs toons.  And the Kung fu flix on ch 5 came later in the late 70's. Addicted. I have literally thousands of them on DVDs! EEEEYYAAAA. Anyways the Jets of the late 60's early 70's were special, very special. As a 12 year old kid, it left an undeniable impression that shaped my life.  In fact, in Madden you can play the 68 Jets vs. the 86 Bears. You'll see how special the 68 Jets just were!

[Larz]

11 hours ago, T0mShane said:

 

All the good Jets:

1. Brandon Marshall

 2. Darrelle Revis

3. Mo Wilkerson

4. Amphetamine Sheldon Richardson

5. Eric Decker

6. David Harris

7. Leonard Williams Maybe

8. Calvin Pryor

9. Matt Forte

10. James Carpenter

 

 

pryor gets little love around here, but I love watching him play

[SenorGato]

Mr. Shane, T0m, is there a surprise long term starter for this Jah forsaken franchise this year? You can't count the first round pick as a surprise, even with this being the Jets and all.

[EM31]

12 hours ago, T0mShane said:

 

All the good Jets:

1. Brandon Marshall

 2. Darrelle Revis

3. Mo Wilkerson

4. Amphetamine Sheldon Richardson

5. Eric Decker

6. David Harris

7. Leonard Williams Maybe

8. Calvin Pryor

9. Matt Forte

10. James Carpenter

 

 

Are there any circumstances under which you would include our Aussie punter that list or do you subscribe to the "kickers aren't football players" school of thought?

[Lizard King]

Please comment:

Geno Smith starting week 3, playoffs made::Dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria