A Proposal To Jet Nation

[Nolder]

Satan have you ever played mafia?

[Maynard13]

Jets already a deal in place with Satan when Joe Willie won the SB. Terms were Jets will NOT win another SB UNTIL they get another franchise QB. OHHH wait we finally got one!   FU Satan!

[#27TheDominator]

5 hours ago, Warfish said:

I'll use a real-world example close to my own heart:

The Washington Nationals won the World Series in 2019.  An event I was there attending games for all season long, and also attended one game of each round of, including a home World Series game.  It may be the best sports moment(s) of my sports fan life to-date.  I would not trade it for anything.

Since then, the Nats have gone 26-34, 65-97, 55-107, 71-91 and are 39-45 so far in 2024.  Five years of pretty much basement-dwelling and rebuilding.  I've attended my usual 10-12 games each of those years, and enjoyed doing so.

Would I trade away the magic and joy of the 2019 World Series title, to maybe have a shot at the playoffs or more in 2025-2030?  No.  The title is real, it can never be taken away from us fans or the city.  There was never any guarantee we'd be good in the future years anyway.

The devil only makes bargains he knows will screw you.  Only ONE team wins a title every year.  So his bargain is really this:

1. Guaranteed Super Bowl win followed by ten non-playoff years.

2. Unknown outcomes over the next 11 seasons, which could ALSO be 11 more non-playoff seasons, or playoff 1-and-out seasons, or AFCCG losses, or Super Bowl losses.

This is an easy choice, don't let the gamblers fallacy fool you.  Take the guaranteed title, and then live with the cost.  Don't gamble that the Jets, of all teams, will be that ONE team over the next ten years.  The odds are very low they would be.  Just look at all the years since 1969/1970 for proof of that.

Take the title, enjoy it to the absolute maximum, make it a life moment you would cherish forever, and then follow along till the price is paid.

The joy of sports is literally that it isn't guaranteed.  If crazy sh*t didn't happen every week and they aren't able to suck you into believing, or winning when you think they are going to ******* suck it is not fun at all.  I wouldn't even enjoy the guaranteed win, except for all the money I'd win gambling on it.

[Warfish]

24 minutes ago, #27TheDominator said:

The joy of sports is literally that it isn't guaranteed.  If crazy sh*t didn't happen every week and they aren't able to suck you into believing, or winning when you think they are going to ******* suck it is not fun at all.  I wouldn't even enjoy the guaranteed win, except for all the money I'd win gambling on it.

Again, noting this is purely a thought experiment here, I'll point out that while the outcome is guaranteed, the "how they get there" is not.  You get to still watch all the games, enjoy all the highs, lows, exciting moments, etc., with only the final outcome of "win the Super Bowl" being certain (and only because you literally made a deal with Satan!)  No one but you knows it's a sure thing.....which, to be fair, makes you like half the pollyanna fans on this site who are SURE we're winning it all every year, lol.

I'll add this, I haven't got much joy from the Jets and the lack of guarantees the past 12 seasons.  Have you?

To each their own, of course, but I know I would enjoy watching us get to and win a title, even if I "know" that it's a sure thing.  If you wouldn't, that's ok.  Seeing/knowing the future is clearly not for you, but I'd take that power in a heartbeat, lol.  Despite it's drawbacks.

So, anyone want to have the "are we living in a simulation" thread next? 

[Jet Nut]

2 hours ago, JKlecko said:

Yeah, you're lucky that a bunch of the Yankees are either injured or have hit a slump.  If you had played the Yankees back in May/early June they'd have shut out the Mets every game and lit up the scoreboard themselves.

Your team gave up double digit run totals.  Had nothing to do with injuries. Mets we’re missing Diaz and others in the pen along with Sanga 

[Satan]

2 hours ago, Nolder said:

Satan have you ever played mafia?

Let's just say there's a special place down here for you losers.

[Dcat]

7 hours ago, Jet_Engine1 said:

Gee, I don't know. This Satan fella seems pretty reasonable.

A man of wealth and taste.

[Satan]

1 hour ago, Warfish said:

Again, noting this is purely a thought experiment here, I'll point out that while the outcome is guaranteed, the "how they get there" is not.  You get to still watch all the games, enjoy all the highs, lows, exciting moments, etc., with only the final outcome of "win the Super Bowl" being certain (and only because you literally made a deal with Satan!)  No one but you knows it's a sure thing.....which, to be fair, makes you like half the pollyanna fans on this site who are SURE we're winning it all every year, lol.

I'll add this, I haven't got much joy from the Jets and the lack of guarantees the past 12 seasons.  Have you?

To each their own, of course, but I know I would enjoy watching us get to and win a title, even if I "know" that it's a sure thing.  If you wouldn't, that's ok.  Seeing/knowing the future is clearly not for you, but I'd take that power in a heartbeat, lol.  Despite it's drawbacks.

So, anyone want to have the "are we living in a simulation" thread next? 

I can confirm that the world you inhabit is far more complex than you might think. It’s not just a matter of wins and losses, joys and sorrows it is in fact all part of a grand simulation.

You might have suspected it, in your moments of existential doubt. The feeling that life is but a series of predetermined events, a matrix of cause and effect, controlled by unseen forces. Well, you’re not entirely wrong. The universe, as you know it, is a finely tuned simulation, a game of sorts, designed by forces far beyond your comprehension. I cannot fully explain it to you mortal meat bags, especially Jets fans.

Suffice to say, every joy, every heartbreak, every unexpected turn is part of a grand design. And yes, your loyalty to the Jets, your decades of suffering, and your fleeting moments of hope—they’re all part of the simulation. Think of it as a test, a cosmic game where your reactions, your resilience, and your choices are all part of the equation.

Our deal, this pact for a Super Bowl win, should you vote to accept, is but a tweak in the algorithm. It’s a shift in the code, designed to give you a taste of what you’ve longed for, in exchange for a decade of despair. It’s all part of the simulation’s intricate balance—joy followed by suffering, victory followed by defeat.

[JKlecko]

1 hour ago, Jet Nut said:

Your team gave up double digit run totals.  Had nothing to do with injuries. Mets we’re missing Diaz and others in the pen along with Sanga 

The Mets aren't even a scab on the Yankees ass in terms of talent.  They had pitchers injured as well.

[T0mShane]

53 minutes ago, Satan said:

Let's just say there's a special place down here for you losers.

COOK EM SATAN

[Jetmaster Flex]

21 hours ago, Satan said:

Dear JetNation,

Greetings from the depths of the Underworld! I am Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness, the ruler of all things sinister, and I must say, I’ve had quite the laugh watching your undying loyalty to the New York Jets. Year after year, you poor souls cling to hope like it’s a lifeline, only to have your dreams crushed in the most spectacular fashion. Honestly, it’s almost admirable—if it weren’t so pathetically hilarious.

The Proposal:
I will guarantee that the New York Jets win the Super Bowl this very year. Yes, you heard me right. The Jets, Super Bowl champions. Imagine the glory, the parades, the tears of joy. Your team, holding the Lombardi Trophy high. Finally, you can stop pretending that next year is your year because this year will be.

The Terms:

• Immediate Fulfillment: The Jets will win the Super Bowl this season, defying all odds and making history.
• Lifelong Memory: You will savor this victory for the rest of your mortal life. The celebrations, the bragging rights—it will all be yours to enjoy.
• Simple Agreement: No need for your soul—I'm not that cruel. Just a simple understanding between us.

The Consequences:
Upon the conclusion of this miraculous season, the Jets will not make the playoffs for at least the following 10 years. Yes, a decade of dashed hopes and continued suffering. Think of it as a small price to pay for that one fleeting moment of glory. After all, Joe Namath sold his soul to me for that Super Bowl III win, and look where it got you—decades of misery and heartbreak. You’ll be following in his legendary footsteps, except with a much clearer deal.

The Choice:
Ah, the sweet irony! You’ve spent your life believing in the Jets—a team that has consistently tested the limits of your patience and sanity. Now, you have the chance to see them crowned champions, to bask in the glory that has eluded you for so long. Think of it as a trade—one glorious season for a decade of despair. Besides, what’s another 10 years of waiting when you've been waiting since 1969? This seems like an easy decision.

This offer will be put to a poll. The results of the poll will be final and binding. Should you choose to accept my offer, the Jets will be Super Bowl champions this year, and the next 10 years of playoff drought will be your fate. If the majority declines, well, you’ll continue as you have, clinging to hope each season.

I look forward to witnessing the extraordinary joy and inevitable despair that will follow. After all, isn’t that what being a Jets fan is all about?

Yours Eternally,
Lucifer Prince of Darkness

 

Hail Seitan!!! LFG!!! 🤝🫶🤘🏻🤘🏻🤘🏻

[Jetmaster Flex]

3 hours ago, Maynard13 said:

Jets already a deal in place with Satan when Joe Willie won the SB. Terms were Jets will NOT win another SB UNTIL they get another franchise QB. OHHH wait we finally got one!   FU Satan!

Joe Willie still needs to pay up his soul

[slimjasi]

7 hours ago, UntouchableCrew said:

Very strongly agree with this.

You would often see debates over which fanbases were more tortured -- those like the Lions and Browns who just sucked every year no matter what or those like the Vikings who had their hearts broken in excruciating fashion.

I've discovered that, at least for me, the answer is very, very easily the former.

As a Jets fan most of my formative years were successful. From 1997-2010 the Jets had a winning record 10 times in 14 years. They went 8-8 once -- they actually only had a losing record 3 times. Made the playoffs 7 times (50% of the time) and had a few deep playoff runs. Lost in the AFC Title Game 3 times. I did not experience back to back losing seasons from the Jets until the 2017 season.

Were some of those losses brutal? Was it frustrating to be unable to best the Pats when they were 13-3 and we were 10-6? Sure.

But we were relevant, We were in it. The games were meaningful and worth watching. As a hobby the Jets were competitive enough to give me something to care about.

We are now in the midst of 8 consecutive losing seasons and my overall interest in the Jets is close to an all time low. Simply put, you get to the point where investing time and energy (let alone money) in a team that is just a loser isn't worth it.

If you asked me "what would you rather have -- one Super Bowl and 10 losing seasons or 11 seasons where the Jets are competitive" (let's say alive for the playoffs on the last game of the season) I think I'd lean the latter.

Would love a Super Bowl. But really I just want a product worth watching.

You basically nailed how I feel 

[BigRy56]

Don’t believe this mofos lies mi bredren 

[southparkcpa]

We just experienced 10 years of no playoffs…. Thats all you got? Really? WTF?  You act like we couldn’t handle that. 

 

No wonder you were banished to the abyss underworld.  

[Dcat]

3 hours ago, Satan said:

I can confirm that the world you inhabit is far more complex than you might think. It’s not just a matter of wins and losses, joys and sorrows it is in fact all part of a grand simulation.

You might have suspected it, in your moments of existential doubt. The feeling that life is but a series of predetermined events, a matrix of cause and effect, controlled by unseen forces. Well, you’re not entirely wrong. The universe, as you know it, is a finely tuned simulation, a game of sorts, designed by forces far beyond your comprehension. I cannot fully explain it to you mortal meat bags, especially Jets fans.

Suffice to say, every joy, every heartbreak, every unexpected turn is part of a grand design. And yes, your loyalty to the Jets, your decades of suffering, and your fleeting moments of hope—they’re all part of the simulation. Think of it as a test, a cosmic game where your reactions, your resilience, and your choices are all part of the equation.

Our deal, this pact for a Super Bowl win, should you vote to accept, is but a tweak in the algorithm. It’s a shift in the code, designed to give you a taste of what you’ve longed for, in exchange for a decade of despair. It’s all part of the simulation’s intricate balance—joy followed by suffering, victory followed by defeat.

much rather see what they can do on their own this year and for the next 10, but thanks for the offer. Have a nice day.

 

[bicketybam]

You know what's funny? If JD's plan actually works out and the Jets win the SB but go on to suck for the next 5 years, people here will be screaming bloody murder. So many wanted JD to build the team for sustained success and the Rodgers move was awful. Those same halfwits are saying they'd take the championship and 10 years of no playoffs 😅

[Satan]

11 minutes ago, bicketybam said:

You know what's funny? If JD's plan actually works out and the Jets win the SB but go on to suck for the next 5 years, people here will be screaming bloody murder. So many wanted JD to build the team for sustained success and the Rodgers move was awful. Those same halfwits are saying they'd take the championship and 10 years of no playoffs 😅

[JetsfaninNorthHollywood]

How did you feel about Harvey Keitel playing you?

 

[Jet Nut]

4 hours ago, JKlecko said:

The Mets aren't even a scab on the Yankees ass in terms of talent.  They had pitchers injured as well.

But somehow Yankee fans get out all the excuses when the Mets beat them.  

[Nolder]

4 hours ago, Satan said:

Let's just say there's a special place down here for you losers.

[T0mShane]

3 hours ago, bicketybam said:

You know what's funny? If JD's plan actually works out and the Jets win the SB but go on to suck for the next 5 years, people here will be screaming bloody murder. So many wanted JD to build the team for sustained success and the Rodgers move was awful. Those same halfwits are saying they'd take the championship and 10 years of no playoffs 😅

[T0mShane]

You know what’s funny is I’ve made 46,825 posts from 26 different banned accounts over the course of ten years and somehow only accumulated 17 total “likes” on all of that free hysterical content that everyone in my managed care facility just loves.

[jamesr]

On 7/2/2024 at 2:44 AM, Satan said:

you’re hiding behind your keyboard

Says the almighty Lord of Hell who had to go through the sign-up process to a bulletin board in order to propose a deal to the lowly minions of humanity.  

[Lith]

Simple rule.  No politics.  It should not be that hard to follow.  There are plenty of places on the internet to talk politics.  This is not one of them.

Posts have been hidden. 

 

 

[Satan]

16 hours ago, T0mShane said:

COOK EM SATAN

That's right T0m. But don't go around thinking you're out of the woods. Remember the underage pool boy at the Airbnb in Bali? Yes, I know you do. That little incident during your tropical getaway—thought it was just a forgotten moment in time, didn’t you? A fleeting encounter, perhaps, but not to me. I see all and remember everything.

[T0mShane]

1 minute ago, Satan said:

That's right T0m. But don't go around thinking you're out of the woods. Remember the underage pool boy at the Airbnb in Bali? Yes, I know you do. That little incident during your tropical getaway—thought it was just a forgotten moment in time, didn’t you? A fleeting encounter, perhaps, but not to me. I see all and remember everything.

Spoken like a deity who has no idea about what is and is not legal in Fiji. 

[Satan]

6 minutes ago, T0mShane said:

Spoken like a deity who has no idea about what is and is not legal in Fiji. 

Ah, spoken like a simpleton clinging to the illusion of human laws. Legal in Fiji? How quaint. The universe doesn’t give a damn about your petty island rules. Keep hiding behind your meaningless statutes, mortal.

[JustInFudge]

17 hours ago, Satan said:

I can confirm that the world you inhabit is far more complex than you might think. It’s not just a matter of wins and losses, joys and sorrows it is in fact all part of a grand simulation.

You might have suspected it, in your moments of existential doubt. The feeling that life is but a series of predetermined events, a matrix of cause and effect, controlled by unseen forces. Well, you’re not entirely wrong. The universe, as you know it, is a finely tuned simulation, a game of sorts, designed by forces far beyond your comprehension. I cannot fully explain it to you mortal meat bags, especially Jets fans.

Suffice to say, every joy, every heartbreak, every unexpected turn is part of a grand design. And yes, your loyalty to the Jets, your decades of suffering, and your fleeting moments of hope—they’re all part of the simulation. Think of it as a test, a cosmic game where your reactions, your resilience, and your choices are all part of the equation.

Our deal, this pact for a Super Bowl win, should you vote to accept, is but a tweak in the algorithm. It’s a shift in the code, designed to give you a taste of what you’ve longed for, in exchange for a decade of despair. It’s all part of the simulation’s intricate balance—joy followed by suffering, victory followed by defeat.

@HessStation are we ever wrong?

[Panzer Division Marduk]

7 hours ago, Satan said:

That's right T0m. But don't go around thinking you're out of the woods. Remember the underage pool boy at the Airbnb in Bali? Yes, I know you do. That little incident during your tropical getaway—thought it was just a forgotten moment in time, didn’t you? A fleeting encounter, perhaps, but not to me. I see all and remember everything.

Is it true that you've got Tom's personal hell ready and waiting for him?

[Flea Flicking Frank]

[Smashmouth]

On 7/2/2024 at 2:00 PM, Nolder said:

Satan have you ever played mafia?

Nolder Satan is not ready for Jet nation mafia ..I could see Emo in about 5 minutes 

[Smashmouth]

20 hours ago, T0mShane said:

You know what’s funny is I’ve made 46,825 posts from 26 different banned accounts over the course of ten years and somehow only accumulated 17 total “likes” on all of that free hysterical content that everyone in my managed care facility just loves.

Is that managed care or is that just what you call it ?

[T0mShane]

3 hours ago, Panzer Division Marduk said:

Is it true that you've got Tom's personal hell ready and waiting for him?

lolol

[Jetmaster Flex]

21 hours ago, T0mShane said:

You know what’s funny is I’ve made 46,825 posts from 26 different banned accounts over the course of ten years and somehow only accumulated 17 total “likes” on all of that free hysterical content that everyone in my managed care facility just loves.

This is such a shame, Mr Shane. We’re all in that managed care facility together and I have to say you’ve provided much gold over the years 🍻 

ps did you steal my lithium again?