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T0mShane Answers Your Questions On The Jets...

Maxman

By Maxman
in NY Jets Forum

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Maxman

Maxman

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Hi @T0mShane: Thank you for agreeing to do this. I will start with a few questions and then everyone else can jump in.

1. Will our new Aussie punter be the best punter ever? Will he win offensive rookie of the year?

2. Matt Forte, over 1,000 yards rushing, yes or no?

3. Brandon Marshall and Quincy Enunwa combined: Over 1,700 yards receiving, yes or no?

4. On a scale of 0 to very awesome, how very awesome will this Jets defense be?

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T0mShane

T0mShane

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I'm an increasingly irrelevant entity, but I see your ploy here. Allow me to answer these hot takes while sipping beer in my living room.

 

1. Punters are weird things, but it seems we have a good one, which is cool. The problem with starting a puny-armed QB is that they don't stretch the field, so every drive requires an extra three to five plays to get into scoring range, which naturally increases the odds of failure on any given drive. Even though the 2015 Jets ranked a robust seventh in Time of Possession/G, and sixth in Plays from Scrimmage on the season, they still punted 79 times (good for 14th). So, having an Australian is key. There's a plant in the Australian outback whose leaves produce a syrup so toxic to humans and animals, that even brushing up against it causes a nagging, incurable suffering that causes the afflicted party to go insane. 

 

2. Matt Forte is old, but he's been remarkably well preserved the past few years, never going over 300 carries on the season, which is usually the death knell for a back. The Falcons once gave the ball to Jamal Anderson 410 times one season and he literally died like Seabiscuit. That said, I think the ideal scenario for the Jets offense is to have Forte and Powell go for 600-700 yards a piece, with Forte doing most of his damage in the short passing game. Given that the Jets won't be carrying a viable tight end on the roster, Forte could fill that void on intermediate routes in the middle of the field. 

 

3. I have this dread fear that Brandon Marshall isn't going to be a huge factor this season. He's older, he's been knicked up already, and even though he been a good citizen here, his history suggests that he'll start to sour on his surroundings eventually. If the Jets get off to a slow start on the season and the media starts being dicks, will 'Marshall keep it together? He wasn't able to do so literally everywhere else he's been.

As for Enunwa, I know everyone is excited about him, but he has a lot to prove. He was targeted 46 times last year, had only 22 catches, and five drops. Those numbers are bad. Enunwa is a better athlete than he is a football player, and he'll never be a natural pass catcher. But, he's going to benefit from being the third option matched up against the safety, so I don't think a 50/600/7 season is out of the question.

 

4. I have a working theory about 2015 that says Bowles didn't really like the collection of players he had on defense and was just biding his time until he could make some adjustments to personnel. His most glaring frustration, IMO, was with his crew of slow-as-**** linebackers, and that affected how he deployed both his DL and DBs.

There were a lot of times where a blitz was on (particularly against the Bills) and the QB easily escaped contain or the LB simply didn't get there in time. Now, Bowles has no excuses. What was tough to watch last year was, despite having first round picks all along the DL, how few times they actually dominated as a group in a game. If they can't start doing that this year, even with all the speed behind them ready to clean up after them, something is severely wrong. 

 

 

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T0mShane

T0mShane

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51 minutes ago, joewilly12 said:

1. Will the Jets defense be #1 in the NFL?

2. Will the NY Jets make the playoffs? 

 

1. No. I think the Jets offense will take a step back this year in terms of Time of Possession, and the defense will be put in too many dodgy positions to be #1. What you want to see from the Jets defense this year is the improved speed resulting in more turnovers and sacks. Being ranked "#1" is overrated. It's all about beating on the other QB and taking the ball away from him in big spots.

 

2. Yes. The AFC South is a toilet and the AFC West is a mess unless the Raiders are good, but they won't be because Jack Del Rio sucks. The Jets will be competing with teams like the Jaguars and Chargers for Wild Card slots. The biggest determinant to this will be how good the Bills are. Fitzpatrick is worthless against Rex, so it will be incumbent upon the Jets defense to keep Tyrod Taylor and Leshon McCoy from dropping another two L's into the loss column for them. If the Jets can sweep the Bills, they're golden. If they get swept, they deserve to perish.

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T0mShane

T0mShane

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6 minutes ago, New York Mick said:

When watching the Jets is Jameson or tullamore dew a better choice?

I can honestly say that doing shots of Jameson while watching the Jets play football is the worst torture I ritually put myself through. I reach the point by the third quarter where you want to puke, but can't, and bad sh*t is happening in the game and you can't leave the bar because you're too ****ed up, so you sit there trapped in this miserable state of not-puking, and weighing whether or not to stick a finger down your throat, and then Revis gives up a touchdown or something and you just want to cry. Maybe I should switch to Tullamore.

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Maxman

Maxman

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I was obviously busting Tom with this thread but I have to say he just doesn't disappoint. The guy knows football and is seriously an amazing poster. I seriously hope people chime in with more questions, his insight is good.

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T0mShane

T0mShane

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55 minutes ago, RutgersJetFan said:

Zack Snyder directing a movie on the Rex era. Go.

 

INT. 2008 CHRYSLER TOWN AND COUNTRY-- DAY

 

REX is in the center aisle bench seat, a woman's bare foot in his lap. He is massaging it. It is the the most perfect foot he's ever touched in his life. He smiles, rubs, then turns his head to look out of the window and sees a football stadium exterior. A flashback begins. Scenes from a football game.

 

            FLASHBACK TO: INT. METLIFE STADIUM--NIGHT (DECEMBER 2010)

The flashback consists of chaotic scenes of a football game. TOM BRADY scoring touchdowns, REX's face stocked, appalled. Dark sequences. Flashing lights. Slow motion pans of a jeering crowd. A woman's tobacco-stained teeth. Slow motion beer bottles in the air, froth in motion-capture wide-pan. Camera settles on BELICHICK'S face, narrows in on eye, closes, enters eye--INT. BELICHICK's brain. He is dreaming of himself as a five year old, lecturing an assembly of American generals on precautions that could have been made to preempt the Pearl Harbor attacks. His father looks on approvingly. EXT. MetLife--Night. He peers across the field at REX and imagines him dressed as Marshal Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto. Camera wide-pans back across the field onto REX's face as his team gives up another touchdown. REX looks to the heavens, screams, snow starts falling, camera elevates vertically into the night sky

 

INT. 2008 CHRYSLER TOWN AND COUNTRY--DAY

 

HOOKER: Ow! God dammit!

 

REX looks down into his lap, realizing he had been crushing her foot in his hand.

 

REX: Sorry, baby. I...

 

HOOKER: Jesus, Rex. What the ****? 

 

REX: Ah jeez. I dunno. Man, I'm sorry.

 

HOOKER: Just give me my money and I'm ****in' out of here. Christ.

 

REX: Money, yeah. Here you...

 

REX looks back at the exterior of the stadium again and can see a squadron of old Japanese fighter jets--Zeroes--dive-bombing into it. There are explosions, sirens, chaos. The flaming bow of a WWII-era battleship noses up from inside and then submerges as though sinking into the unseen AstroTurf. He imagines hordes of people escaping, running toward him through the parking lot. They are dressed in 1940's naval blues, hats, nurse's uniforms, all spattered with blood. Finally, seawater overflows the walls, crashing down on the people, flooding the parking lot. A tidal wave rushes towards him, consuming people as it travels.

 

REX: Baby, you ever see that movie with Ben Affleck, about the Japs?

 

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thshadow

thshadow

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Hey, Mr. Max guy, I'm not sure if you're new around here, but I just wanted to let you know that you're not supposed to create threads calling out other posters.  You might get banned.  Or even worse - something that some people find unbearable - you might get negative rep.

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T0mShane

T0mShane

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48 minutes ago, shuler82 said:

Length or girth if you absolutely, positively cannot have both?

I've always been a girth man and I've consequently always been jealous of length men. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter because a woman will always tell you her best sex wasn't with the biggest-dicked dude, it was with the guy they shouldn't have been having sex with in the first place: a teacher, their best friend's husband, a professor, the town roughneck. Women are batsh*t.

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Maxman

Maxman

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6 minutes ago, T0mShane said:

I've always been a girth man and I've consequently always been jealous of length men. 

Tom I don't think he was asking your personal preference. It was more of a what do the ladies like kind of thing.

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Gas2No99

Gas2No99

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2 hours ago, Maxman said:

Hi @T0mShane: Thank you for agreeing to do this. I will start with a few questions and then everyone else can jump in.

1. Will our new Aussie punter be the best punter ever? Will he win offensive rookie of the year?

Wouldn't it be DEFENSIVE rookie OTY since he pushes the opposing team's offense further back in the playing field with his BOOMING Thunda from Down Unda Punts?

punters are defensive players, no?

 

back on topic........

Sir Shane, 

in your esteemed opinion, how many GAMES will be Won by a defensive score for the go ahead win?

ala Shaun Ellis' dancing bear winner in 2008.

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Maxman

Maxman

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2 minutes ago, Gas2No99 said:

Wouldn't it be DEFENSIVE rookie OTY since he pushes the opposing team's offense further back in the playing field with his BOOMING Thunda from Down Unda Punts?

punters are defensive players, no?

 

Haha I knew someone was going to call me out on that.

I started going to Jets games in the Joe Walton days. Soon after Bruce Coslet came to town and they did all these trick punt plays with Louie Aguiar. That was the Jets offense back then. :)

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Gas2No99

Gas2No99

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2 minutes ago, Maxman said:

Haha I knew someone was going to call me out on that.

I started going to Jets games in the Joe Walton days. Soon after Bruce Coslet came to town and they did all these trick punt plays with Louie Aguiar. That was the Jets offense back then. :)

 EVERY TIME old Louie would punt my old man would criticize aloud that his name is AguiLar with an L - a very typical Latino last name - not Aguiar - and that he was a sell out for trying to Anglicanize his name for the Gringos. I thought it funny and liked Lou's sweet 'stache.

41wIYZ3-dDL.jpg

 

 

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ZachEY

ZachEY

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1) What week, of what year, will Hackenberg throw his first NFL TD?

2) Who is the best rookie QB to come out of this class in the year 2019?

3) If you had to live the rest of your life without condiments or pillows, which would you give up?

4) Which Jets player surprises with a good-great season?

5) O/U 8 wins?

6) Record vs. Bills?

7) Mark Sanchez's season?

8) Your answer to the Trolley Problem?

9) Jets defensive MVP?

10) Revis's season?

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T0mShane

T0mShane

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7 hours ago, Gas2No99 said:

Wouldn't it be DEFENSIVE rookie OTY since he pushes the opposing team's offense further back in the playing field with his BOOMING Thunda from Down Unda Punts?

punters are defensive players, no?

 

back on topic........

Sir Shane, 

in your esteemed opinion, how many GAMES will be Won by a defensive score for the go ahead win?

ala Shaun Ellis' dancing bear winner in 2008.

The second part is impossible to answer, but your first part reveals something about Maxman. He doesn't watch football at all and instead uses the games to hobnob with the wealthy folk in the coach's club. That's why he thinks a punter is an offensive position; he's too busy peeling shrimp with CitiBank execs. Remember this the next time he asks you for $50 for premium content.

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T0mShane

T0mShane

Posted
Posted
7 hours ago, Gas2No99 said:

Wouldn't it be DEFENSIVE rookie OTY since he pushes the opposing team's offense further back in the playing field with his BOOMING Thunda from Down Unda Punts?

punters are defensive players, no?

 

back on topic........

Sir Shane, 

in your esteemed opinion, how many GAMES will be Won by a defensive score for the go ahead win?

ala Shaun Ellis' dancing bear winner in 2008.

 

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