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Anyone here ever quit drinking?


Jet_Engine1

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Anyone ever feel compelled to quit drinking? Not the casual, "Nah, don't feel like a beer today" quit, but the "I need to evalute what drinking is doing in my life" quitting. I know, kind of a deep topic, but I was at my uncles funeral over the weekend with family, and I still feel like crap from boozing with cousins. I think for me it might be time to give it up...I'm in my 40s, married with 2 kids and I still drink like a soldier on leave once I start.  Just wondering on the anonymity of the internet if anyone else here (aside from Joe Namath lol) ever decided to give it up and if it took. 

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Nope nobody likes a quitter. 

Seriously drinking beats the body down. I work with guys who drink hard 7 days a week, one is 52 the other is 59 I don't know how they do it. 

When I was in my 20"s I stayed out all night drinking and went to work at 5am never missing a beat, my father God rest his soul always said if you start missing work because of drinking you need to quit drinking. 

Im 54 and I stick to beer and drink like a soldier on leave myself and sometimes it hurts and other times no after effect. 

I have considered a few times quitting but you know nobody likes a quitter. 

 

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I’ve been there a few times. For me it happened one night when I ditched an obligation I had and stayed home to get drunk on a Wednesday night by myself - behind my wife’s back. I knew then I had a problem and that I needed to cut back by *a lot* if not outright quit. I knew that giving up booze for good would be harder so I just started with trying to limit myself only to the weekend; or only so many drinks at one time, etc.

It’s helped and the extra few inches you’ll see vanish around the middle is pretty nice too ?

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30 minutes ago, A.J. said:

I’ve been there a few times. For me it happened one night when I ditched an obligation I had and stayed home to get drunk on a Wednesday night by myself - behind my wife’s back. I knew then I had a problem and that I needed to cut back by *a lot* if not outright quit. I knew that giving up booze for good would be harder so I just started with trying to limit myself only to the weekend; or only so many drinks at one time, etc.

It’s helped and the extra few inches you’ll see vanish around the middle is pretty nice too ?

I do that myself. Sneak drink in the house or garage, bring a couple beers into the bathroom....heck, Ive had 4 trips out of town on my own the last 2 months for work/classes, a conference and a funeral. Each trip, I got rip roaring hammered at least 1 night because I had no spousal supervision. Its tough realizing that you are "that guy", the guy that has a problem with booze. The alcoholic. It's funny or fun, or a rite of passsage to binge drink in your 20s at school or the Service....its not funny anymore when you're older. Its gotten to where I am ashamed of myself the next morning....

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1 minute ago, Jet_Engine1 said:

I do that myself. Sneak drink in the house or garage, bring a couple beers into the bathroom....heck, Ive had 4 trips out of town on my own the last 2 months for work/classes, a conference and a funeral. Each trip, I got rip roaring hammered at least 1 night because I had no spousal supervision. Its tough realizing that you are "that guy", the guy that has a problem with booze. The alcoholic. It's funny or fun, or a rite of passsage to binge drink in your 20s at school or the Service....its not funny anymore when you're older. Its gotten to where I am ashamed of myself the next morning....

Can relate. Any time I got drunk like that it always caused a fight and the next day is nothing but disappointment and regrets and shame.

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I got young kids and a son I know who watches everything I do, so looking at it from that way made me want to stop.

I still drink but keep it light. No hard liquor (not regularly) and only a few beers on the weekend at dinner or in the evening when I’m kicking back. It’s worked pretty well for me so far.

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On 6/5/2018 at 11:05 PM, Jet_Engine1 said:

I do that myself. Sneak drink in the house or garage, bring a couple beers into the bathroom....heck, Ive had 4 trips out of town on my own the last 2 months for work/classes, a conference and a funeral. Each trip, I got rip roaring hammered at least 1 night because I had no spousal supervision. Its tough realizing that you are "that guy", the guy that has a problem with booze. The alcoholic. It's funny or fun, or a rite of passsage to binge drink in your 20s at school or the Service....its not funny anymore when you're older. Its gotten to where I am ashamed of myself the next morning....

I would say if you are sneaking beers into the bathroom it is time to quit. Really.

Some can do it without help. If you cant do it alone go to AA. It is the only thing that works.

Good luck.

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Seems like a trend i'm seeing with friends & colleagues lately.  I am starting to question myself a little bit lately.  Once I get home from the office, I feel the need to pound a quick two to take the edge off from the day.  

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Yes. I was 22. The woman who convinced me to do it was a bartender at a strip club. We hit it off at a bachelor party. So I started going there a LOT. I actually got the nerve to ask her out and she said yes. We had a 4 week affair it was awesome. Turns out she was a recovering alcoholic who worked at the bar for the money and to remind her how much drunk people look like idiots. 

I was at the bar on a Sunday afternoon and she just said I was a mess. She said I didn't belong there. She left me a message on my answering machine (remember those lol) and challenged me to quit drinking. 

So I did. 

It lasted about 6 months. It was good, lost weight got my sh*t together 

The weirdest thing was figuring out what to do with my hands at a bar. I don't smoke so I wound up drinking a lot of expensive water and juice lol. 

I never became a hard core partyer again after that so I owe her a debt. 

 

 

 

 

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On 6/5/2018 at 8:44 PM, Jet_Engine1 said:

Anyone ever feel compelled to quit drinking? Not the casual, "Nah, don't feel like a beer today" quit, but the "I need to evalute what drinking is doing in my life" quitting. I know, kind of a deep topic, but I was at my uncles funeral over the weekend with family, and I still feel like crap from boozing with cousins. I think for me it might be time to give it up...I'm in my 40s, married with 2 kids and I still drink like a soldier on leave once I start.  Just wondering on the anonymity of the internet if anyone else here (aside from Joe Namath lol) ever decided to give it up and if it took. 

If you’re asking whether you need to stop then it’s a pretty good indicator that you should look into getting help. Ask yourself ‘Is this interfereing with my life?’.’ Go online to AA and check out 20 questions on whether you are an alcoholic.  You may be surprised at the answers. It’s not a big deal to come to see you have a problem but it is a big deal to let it continue taking over your life. It’s a downward spiral and only gets worse once you cross a line.  I speak from various viewpoints -  I have given up drugs over 24 years ago, am now a therapist and have also worked as a substance abuse counselor. It sounds to me you are on the verge of something quite extraordinary - getting to know yourself!

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On 6/5/2018 at 8:44 PM, Jet_Engine1 said:

Anyone ever feel compelled to quit drinking? Not the casual, "Nah, don't feel like a beer today" quit, but the "I need to evalute what drinking is doing in my life" quitting. I know, kind of a deep topic, but I was at my uncles funeral over the weekend with family, and I still feel like crap from boozing with cousins. I think for me it might be time to give it up...I'm in my 40s, married with 2 kids and I still drink like a soldier on leave once I start.  Just wondering on the anonymity of the internet if anyone else here (aside from Joe Namath lol) ever decided to give it up and if it took. 

I've never drank but it sounds like it's time for you to give it up. One DUI and you could stand to lose everything.I've tragically seen it happen.  From what I've read here you're getting some pretty solid advise. Best of luck to you.

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On 6/5/2018 at 10:02 PM, joewilly12 said:

Nope nobody likes a quitter.

 

Nobody likes an insensitive remark. Jet Engine is at a crossroads. Making a comment like that is beyond irresponsible. You add some good stuff here but be careful what you spew out. This issue is not a game or something to take lightly. Obviously you have no clue what you are talking about and for that reason I hope he doesn’t take what you said with any credence. He’s not considering ‘quitting’ but surrendering. It’s a huge difference. 

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I used to drink way too much and too often, and the thing that’s slowed me down, really, is that age has caught up to me and I can’t handle the mornings after. My brother is a huge alcoholic with multiple DUIs and he simply can’t handle himself at the bar. There are degrees of drinking too much, and the battle is so subjective from person to person that it’s tough to know when you need to throw up the white flag, but I’d guess it’s something you just come to realize—when it’s too much—and then you have to decide if you’re going to address it. Some people don’t ever address and live out their lives as semi-functioning alcoholics, and some quit all the way, while others can back off just enough to be healthy with it. IMO, you’ve gotta be honest about what you’re capable of and what you want the end result to be, and that’s where it gets sh*tty.

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On 6/5/2018 at 8:05 PM, Jet_Engine1 said:

I do that myself. Sneak drink in the house or garage, bring a couple beers into the bathroom....heck, Ive had 4 trips out of town on my own the last 2 months for work/classes, a conference and a funeral. Each trip, I got rip roaring hammered at least 1 night because I had no spousal supervision. Its tough realizing that you are "that guy", the guy that has a problem with booze. The alcoholic. It's funny or fun, or a rite of passsage to binge drink in your 20s at school or the Service....its not funny anymore when you're older. Its gotten to where I am ashamed of myself the next morning....

100% time to evaluate your decision making. I've worked with addictions, the plight of the functional alcoholic is the one that wrecks families and health in the long run. The roaring day drunk rarely gets lift off and thus its always been overt and tend not to get far past estranged parenthood and working at the docks.

Anyone sneaking in drinks or coming up with reasons to drink on their own should consider getting support. You don't want to have the same conversation in a physicians room with bad news, while your kids are numb to the situation.  

 

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2 hours ago, Paradis said:

100% time to evaluate your decision making. I've worked with addictions, the plight of the functional alcoholic is the one that wrecks families and health in the long run. The roaring day drunk rarely gets lift off and thus its always been overt and tend not to get far past estranged parenthood and working at the docks.

Anyone sneaking in drinks or coming up with reasons to drink on their own should consider getting support. You don't want to have the same conversation in a physicians room with bad news, while your kids are numb to the situation.  

 

Thank you for judging me. 

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2 hours ago, T0mShane said:

I used to drink way too much and too often, and the thing that’s slowed me down, really, is that age has caught up to me and I can’t handle the mornings after. My brother is a huge alcoholic with multiple DUIs and he simply can’t handle himself at the bar. There are degrees of drinking too much, and the battle is so subjective from person to person that it’s tough to know when you need to throw up the white flag, but I’d guess it’s something you just come to realize—when it’s too much—and then you have to decide if you’re going to address it. Some people don’t ever address and live out their lives as semi-functioning alcoholics, and some quit all the way, while others can back off just enough to be healthy with it. IMO, you’ve gotta be honest about what you’re capable of and what you want the end result to be, and that’s where it gets sh*tty.

You nailed it 

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16 hours ago, BigO said:

Nobody likes an insensitive remark. Jet Engine is at a crossroads. Making a comment like that is beyond irresponsible. You add some good stuff here but be careful what you spew out. This issue is not a game or something to take lightly. Obviously you have no clue what you are talking about and for that reason I hope he doesn’t take what you said with any credence. He’s not considering ‘quitting’ but surrendering. It’s a huge difference. 

Calm the hell down. No one is trying to be insensitive or ridicule anyone especially me.He should seek professional help if his problem is that bad and not look for help on a football message board. I wish him all luck in the world with his problem. Do you feel like a "big man" now or a hero which is it. 

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I think that if someone is unable to moderate (and moderate has different meanings for different people) then completely stopping is really the only alternative.  For me, I may have a drink or two during the week, maybe a few if I meet friends for a Thursday happy hour, and then probably two weekends a month I might actually get drunk on a Saturday night.  If I felt the need to drink everyday or if anyone I had a drink I felt like I just had to have at least 5 more then I'd be concerned.  I have a friend who is in the latter kind of situation.  He doesn't booze every day but anytime we go out he can't simply just have a beer or two and call it a day/night.  Whenever he drinks it's like he has to go all-in and drinks to get drunk.  It's concerning.

And I agree with @A.J. , having a 12 year old son, I make a conscious effort to drink responsibly at family BBQs, etc.  They're always watching and I don't want to be the kind of Dad that has him thinking you order a beer every single time you go out to eat.

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On 6/7/2018 at 8:09 AM, jmat321 said:

Seems like a trend i'm seeing with friends & colleagues lately.  I am starting to question myself a little bit lately.  Once I get home from the office, I feel the need to pound a quick two to take the edge off from the day.  

That's pretty common.  Everyone needs some sort of escape or way to relax.  I think the trick is finding something healthy or productive that gives you the same/similar feeling that drinking maybe does.  Exercise has turned out to be that fix for me the past few years, especially when on a business trip and feeling stressed out.  I'll go pound the treadmill in the hotel gym....you can legitimately get a high from running or exercising.  It's medically proven, the brain release endorphins.  I'm also a big music fan, although not a musician.  I know people who will just pick up a guitar to relieve stress, etc.

Check out this article about Travis Barker from Blink-182 who talks about "replacing bad addictions with good ones."  Running has become his outlet.  Also, if you play the video you'll hear from other guys like Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers about what running has done for him.

No, I'm not saying anyone needs to become a runner.  But find that other thing.  Whatever it is.  That's the key!  Find a new hobby...golf, go to a batting cage maybe if you haven't swung a baseball bat since Little League, maybe learn to play an instrument or decide to build something cool in the garage.  Find that one thing that you'll look forward to doing when you get home from the office rather than reaching to the refrigerator door as a crutch.

Took me a while to realize this but there's a lot of fun sh*t to do in this world that is rewarding or can give you a high AND is productive rather than destructive.

https://www.runnersworld.com/runners-stories/a20856388/blink-182s-travis-barker-replaced-his-bad-addictions-with-good-ones/

 

Quote

I first laced up for a serious run the day I found out my ex-wife [Shanna Moakler] was pregnant with our son, Landon. I came home from the doctor’s office and ran to the freeway, which was four miles away.

I’d never really run for fun before, but I did it every day until he was born. I was going to be responsible for someone and be a role model. That was the beginning of being in shape.

When I got in that plane crash [in 2008], 65 percent of my body was burned and my right foot was almost amputated. Doctors told me, “You will probably never run again. You may not play drums again.”

The minute they said that, those became challenges for me. Once I taught myself to walk again in the hospital, the first thing I wanted to do was play drums and run.

Six to eight months after the accident, I was running. It was like a warning shot—another chance to better my life.

I feel off if I don’t run. It’s like a meal. I need it every day.

I don’t fly, so I’m on a bus for 10 to 12 hours on tour. Sometimes when the driver stops to get gas, I’ll say, “Which direction are you driving? I’m going to start running, so pick me up!”

Even in the studio, if there’s downtime, I can’t just sit there. They say sitting is the new cancer, and I kind of agree.

The coolest part about being on tour is running stairs at theaters and arenas. It’s so quiet after soundcheck. Six hours later the arena is going to be filled with 20,000 to 30,000 screaming kids. It’s the calm before the storm.

GettyImages-114935663-640x478.jpg

People trip out when I say that I run without music, but when I’m in the studio all day working and listening to music, sometimes I just want to zone out.

I’ve been sober since the accident, but I’ve replaced all of my bad addictions with good ones. Now, I get high off running.

I just love running. It makes me feel like I can conquer anything that comes at me. I’m never tapped out. I’m never tired around my two kids. I owe a lot of that to running.

* * *

Travis Barker is the drummer for the Grammy-nominated rock group blink-182. The band is currently on tour and in 2016 released its seventh studio album, California.

 

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On 6/5/2018 at 11:05 PM, Jet_Engine1 said:

I do that myself. Sneak drink in the house or garage, bring a couple beers into the bathroom....heck, Ive had 4 trips out of town on my own the last 2 months for work/classes, a conference and a funeral. Each trip, I got rip roaring hammered at least 1 night because I had no spousal supervision. Its tough realizing that you are "that guy", the guy that has a problem with booze. The alcoholic. It's funny or fun, or a rite of passsage to binge drink in your 20s at school or the Service....its not funny anymore when you're older. Its gotten to where I am ashamed of myself the next morning....

I read your post the other day and keep thinking about it.  I've tried several times to respond, but can't find what I think are the right words.  

First, I applaud and respect your courage in saying (writing) that you believe you have a problem.  That, my friend, is the most difficult part.  (Okay, maybe the hardest part is actually giving up the booze.)  I hope that you will seek the professional assistance to save your health and/or life.   You are worth it.  

Manly hug (unless you want to make it hot & steamy ?) and best wishes to you, JE1.

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1 hour ago, munchmemory said:

I read your post the other day and keep thinking about it.  I've tried several times to respond, but can't find what I think are the right words.  

First, I applaud and respect your courage in saying (writing) that you believe you have a problem.  That, my friend, is the most difficult part.  (Okay, maybe the hardest part is actually giving up the booze.)  I hope that you will seek the professional assistance to save your health and/or life.   You are worth it.  

Manly hug (unless you want to make it hot & steamy ?) and best wishes to you, JE1.

Thanks bro. Its gonna be tough a tough road but I think it'll be worth it. Lots of great responses here for the most part, lots of support which I appreciate. I opened up HERE on a message board because I post here a lot, and its (for me) an added group to feel accountable to. The culture at my job almost glorifies the "culture" of drinking. As one of the bigger, older, saltier guys on the job its almost expected that I slam a bunch of shots of Irish at every gathering, and Im not the only one...one of the reasons why I recently transferred from Operations/Combat to Investigation/Inspection.

 

This is a very personal issue I addressed here because I have been dealing with it for a long time. I'm respected in my field and good at what I do. I don't miss work because of drinking. I'm happily married. I have great kids. But as I get older, I realize the cultures Ive been shaped by (Irish NYPD/Cop family, the Army, the Fire Department, Jets fan) have skewed my views of what is a problem into a punchline. Not anymore. 

 

I appreciate everyone who has reached out, and I plan on documenting the progress here. Thanks. 

 

And lets keep it at fist bumps or high fives.....

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1 minute ago, Jet_Engine1 said:

Thanks bro. Its gonna be tough a tough road but I think it'll be worth it. Lots of great responses here for the most part, lots of support which I appreciate. I opened up HERE on a message board because I post here a lot, and its (for me) an added group to feel accountable to. The culture at my job almost glorifies the "culture" of drinking. As one of the bigger, older, saltier guys on the job its almost expected that I slam a bunch of shots of Irish at every gathering, and Im not the only one...one of the reasons why I recently transferred from Operations/Combat to Investigation/Inspection.

 

This is a very personal issue I addressed here because I have been dealing with it for a long time. I'm respected in my field and good at what I do. I don't miss work because of drinking. I'm happily married. I have great kids. But as I get older, I realize the cultures Ive been shaped by (Irish NYPD/Cop family, the Army, the Fire Department, Jets fan) have skewed my views of what is a problem into a punchline. Not anymore. 

 

I appreciate everyone who has reached out, and I plan on documenting the progress here. Thanks. 

I deal with depression/anxiety and have documented it on several message boards, too.  I think it helps to admit that we need help, no matter our issue(s). 

You have so much going for you--family, talent, reputation at work, etc.--so it would be criminal to throw all those amazing parts of your life away for drink. I look forward to reading how you succeeded in giving it up.  

Again, best wishes.

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A lot of good replies and advice here, and I’ll throw in one more thought. 

I’ve been a binge drinker on and off for the better part of 20 years, and the thing that makes quitting for any extended period of time difficult is that there’s always an excuse to pick up that bottle, and it’s never hard to justify it in your own mind. Sunday afternoon? Crack a few beers while you watch the Jets. Wednesday night? Had a rough day at work; need to blow off some steam. Friday? Going out with friends; gotta have a few drinks so we can have more fun. Etc., etc., etc...

Making matters worse, if you’re like me you can’t just hang out and have a couple of drinks then go home; you have to drink 18 beers and stay until the bar closes. 

I think part of succeeding in staying away from it comes by finding reasons not to drink, be it your family, your health or whatever. Even then it will probably be something you’ll wrestle with for the rest of your life. I wish you the best. 

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On 6/5/2018 at 11:05 PM, Jet_Engine1 said:

I do that myself. Sneak drink in the house or garage, bring a couple beers into the bathroom....heck, Ive had 4 trips out of town on my own the last 2 months for work/classes, a conference and a funeral. Each trip, I got rip roaring hammered at least 1 night because I had no spousal supervision. Its tough realizing that you are "that guy", the guy that has a problem with booze. The alcoholic. It's funny or fun, or a rite of passsage to binge drink in your 20s at school or the Service....its not funny anymore when you're older. Its gotten to where I am ashamed of myself the next morning....

Yeah, sneaking drinks in the bathroom, feeling ashamed the next morning, I think you are already coming to terms with what you need to do. Realizing and admitting is the first step, good luck man. 

My my first inclination after reading the op was to make a joke about quitters, but I have seen friends and family deal with addictions of different kinds, and with the way more and more people are dealing with their demons, Anthony Bourdain today for example, I just don’t want to make those jokes anymore. I have spent time in NA/AA meetings in support of addict friends, I have respect and love for those honestly trying to do better and get through it every day. 

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4 hours ago, joewilly12 said:

Calm the hell down. No one is trying to be insensitive or ridicule anyone especially me.He should seek professional help if his problem is that bad and not look for help on a football message board. I wish him all luck in the world with his problem. Do you feel like a "big man" now or a hero which is it. 

 

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4 hours ago, jetstream23 said:

That's pretty common.  Everyone needs some sort of escape or way to relax.  I think the trick is finding something healthy or productive that gives you the same/similar feeling that drinking maybe does.  Exercise has turned out to be that fix for me the past few years, especially when on a business trip and feeling stressed out.  I'll go pound the treadmill in the hotel gym....you can legitimately get a high from running or exercising.  It's medically proven, the brain release endorphins.  I'm also a big music fan, although not a musician.  I know people who will just pick up a guitar to relieve stress, etc.

Check out this article about Travis Barker from Blink-182 who talks about "replacing bad addictions with good ones."  Running has become his outlet.  Also, if you play the video you'll hear from other guys like Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers about what running has done for him.

No, I'm not saying anyone needs to become a runner.  But find that other thing.  Whatever it is.  That's the key!  Find a new hobby...golf, go to a batting cage maybe if you haven't swung a baseball bat since Little League, maybe learn to play an instrument or decide to build something cool in the garage.  Find that one thing that you'll look forward to doing when you get home from the office rather than reaching to the refrigerator door as a crutch.

Took me a while to realize this but there's a lot of fun sh*t to do in this world that is rewarding or can give you a high AND is productive rather than destructive.

https://www.runnersworld.com/runners-stories/a20856388/blink-182s-travis-barker-replaced-his-bad-addictions-with-good-ones/

 

 

I’m up at 4 and hit the gym every morning.  I also fish, kayak, and coach youth sports.  It’s all part of the routine.  Put that together with 2 kids and a high stress job, I might drink because I do too much....

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7 hours ago, T0mShane said:

I used to drink way too much and too often, and the thing that’s slowed me down, really, is that age has caught up to me and I can’t handle the mornings after. My brother is a huge alcoholic with multiple DUIs and he simply can’t handle himself at the bar. There are degrees of drinking too much, and the battle is so subjective from person to person that it’s tough to know when you need to throw up the white flag, but I’d guess it’s something you just come to realize—when it’s too much—and then you have to decide if you’re going to address it. Some people don’t ever address and live out their lives as semi-functioning alcoholics, and some quit all the way, while others can back off just enough to be healthy with it. IMO, you’ve gotta be honest about what you’re capable of and what you want the end result to be, and that’s where it gets sh*tty.

The key is being honest.  Pride will get in the way and limit what a person is capable of accomplishing. I know many who have quit but never have looked deep into their psyche.  Not recommended. They don’t drink but they barely change. Taking a hard long look at oneself is the hardest thing to do. If it was easy, everyone would do it. What’s really baffling Is how do abandon the very thing that sustains you. The unknown of not drinking is as frightening as dealing with the regrets, bad feelings and negative energy from the incessant drinking. It takes tremendous courage, guts and resolve to change. It’s only understandable if you experience it. That’s the tricky thing about it. Why would a person put oneself through it without really knowing what they’ll get out of it. There is absolutely no way to know UNTIL you do it. As the saying goes when you get sick and tired of being sick and tired, you’ll do something about it’. And then it begins.....

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