Which JN Poster Would make the best GM and why?

[jgb]

14 hours ago, T0mShane said:

Here’s what I do: I draft Baker Mayfield this year and then I say, “Todd, I’m leaving it up to you who to start and play. It’s all in your hands,” Then I wait until the night before minicamp and I trade McCown to the Jaguars, eating up that $5 mil cap hit for his signing bonus. Todd will freak out, but I calm him down by telling him that we want to give a chance to Teddy because if he comes around it’ll give us a lot of leverage in trades next offseason, and I remind him that Deone Buccanon will likely be available as a free agent. As he starts getting more and more pissed, I’d start singing “SevenNationArmy” but I’d replace “Seven nation army” with “De-own-ay boo-can-non” and he’d chill out and calm down. Then we’d get into training camp and I’d wait until Christian Hackenberg threw his first incompletion and I’d walk right out onto the field and take his helmet away from him, and I’d make a little speech to him like Leonidas in 300 where he tells the misshapen birth defect guy that he can’t be in the Spartan army because he can’t get the shield all the way up over his head which compromises the phalanx. And then Hack would be cut on the spot, but in order to not embarrass Hackenberg and to teach the team about the importance of teamwork, I’d cut Chad Hansen, too. Not that Hansen would deserve it, but it’d be important to stress that one man’s failures are the team’s failures, and that GM Tom will come, not just for you, but for the thing you love the most. We’d stress teamwork and excellence under my regime. The next morning, I’d give Baker Mayfield the number 12 jersey. Sure, it’d upset Namath, but I’d call a press conference to remind everyone that Joe Namath is both the beloved shining avatar of the Jets franchise, AND also spent a significant portion of his life as a bisexual, mobbed-up alcoholic who would have been destroyed by Christian Conservatives, TMZ, Eric Schneiderman, and the #MeToo movement if he was playing today. It’d be a real subtle message to Baker to watch his ass while at the same time hearkening back to the glory days of the Jets franchise. Brilliant, IMO. Then, as training camp was going on, I’d head down to Oklahoma to go deer hunting with Mike Gundy where we’d kill a buck and I’d post a picture on my Insta of me and Mike Gundy stoned on shwag and hammered on some okie moonshine, covered in deer blood and laughing our asses off, and I’d hashtag it “#BloodBrothers #LOL #20thCenturyFootball #GreatCoach #****Nature” Then I’d come back and check the stats from our first three preseason games and if Baker Mayfield was within 80 points of Teddy Bridgewater’s QBR, I’d cut Teddy and leak a rumor that he’s secretly missing a leg and what you’re seeing is actually a next-gen prosthesis. So the QB room would just be Baker and Petty, which is fine. Sure, Todd would be upset, but I’d calm his nerves by leaving a bloody deer head on his desk. 

 

[Fantasy Island]

On 3/16/2018 at 8:59 AM, JiF said:

I dont want to come into the thread and be all obnoxious and claim this is an obvious answer but it really is clear I'd be the best GM.  Not just for me keen eye for talent and high level understanding of how to build a roster.  But I'd also implement winning culture by empowering the team I surround myself with to focus on their strengths as I delegate off some of my weakness, which are few.  Which is another reason I'm a great leader.  I know my strengths and weaknesses and I'm willing to appoint posters who are better than me at certain aspects of building my vision.

My first hire @HessStation - Hess understands what it takes to build a Super Bowl roster.  We're really the same person from that perspective.  It's almost like we share our right eye.  He sees what I see and I see what he sees.  We're 2 peas in the same pod.  He would be my Asst. GM and we'd be the best executive duo in the NFL.

My second hire would @Sperm Edwards - he's truly a salary cap savant.  He's a visionary.  He's so far out in front of the other cap experts in the NFL that it's truly a sight to behold.  However, he's extremely long winded so I would need a good listener who actually can keep their attention span engaged long enough to retain what Sperm would be spewing.  @Bleedin Green 

My next round of hires would be specific to position scouting:

@Lupz27 - QB's

@Matt39 - pass rushers

@bitonti - OL

@Paradis - RB's

@Villain The Foe - WR's

@New York Mick - DL

@Lith - LB'ers

@SenorGato - CB's

@T0mShane - Safeties 

My next wave of hires would be more about the mental and physical health of the team:

@The Crusher would be our nutritionist.  Buffet's all day, every day.

@gEYno would be our team psychiatrist. 

@kevinc855 would be in charge of fan interaction/game day experience - Jet up, bitches

@Integrity28 and @CTM - strength and conditioning.  You may think why hire to middle aged fat and out of shape nonathletic guys to run this dept. but it's that whole, learn from experience, dont do what these guys do strategy.  Plus, little known fact, they actually think they're experts in this space and watching the 2 of them try to work together would be entertaining for the rest of us. 

@dbatesman would be in charge or monitoring @Pac takes on Football to provide me feedback so we know to do the exact opposite of everything he says.

@Miss Lonelyhearts data geek nerd 

@Maxman he'd run social media, duh.

@UnitedWhofans he'd control narratives and work on changing our fans mindset so we can finally start winning

@JoJoTownsell1  he's in charge of PR and spinning everything positive for the Jets

 

Look at this structure and tell me the Jets wouldnt be a dynasty.  You cant.  I know.

If I didnt include your name, it's not that you're not important.  You may just be forgettable.  So, please respond with where you think you could make an impact and I'll review your application and see if we can find a spot for you on this future dynasty. 

 

I want to be the T.O. coordinator.  I yell into Bowles ear, "hey ****head call a time out!!"  Six magical moments per game.  If he doesn't call it, I sit McCown for a series.  He will learn.