HighPitch Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 http://www.patspulpit.com/2015/11/4/9672716/the-patriots-cheat-at-coin-flips-too Just when you think the Patriots have exhausted all possible avenues for cheating, deception, and overall scumbaggery, they once again find a way to outdo themselves. It would appear that the Patriots have somehow found a way to even cheat the coin toss, as they have been winning at an impossible rate. According to the latest nine month, eleventeen grillion dollar investigation, the Pats have won 19 of the past 25 coin flips. The odds of that happening are 0.0073 - less than three quarters of one percent. The question, of course, is not if the Patriots are cheating, but how. I mean how can Bill Belichick possibly have figured out a way to manipulate one of the oldest methods of fairly making a decision known to humanity? What has he done to further taint his already eternally tarnished legacy? He couldn't have snuck in a two-headed or two-tailed coin; the refs hold onto them, they are provided by the league, and plus the opponents are making the call half the time anyway, rendering such a move highly risky. He couldn't have bribed the refs; they don't have any control over how a coin lands. Or do they? Has Belichick been orchestrating a scheme in which the referees, all of whom are clearly on the take anyway since the Patriots get ALL the calls, spend hours upon hours every offseason perfecting a carefully manipulated tossing system that allows them to dictate which side lands face up? If the Patriots call heads, can the refs manipulate it so the coin lands heads? If New England's opponent calls heads, can they make it come up tails? Is that what Pink Stripes is? Some massive coin aerodynamics equation? And is there even a rule against that? If there isn't, I sure hope that nobody in the Colts or Ravens front office reads this article, otherwise we'll be in for some more rule changes in the offseason. But that's just ridiculous, right? I mean Belichick isn't that good, is he? His evil genius couldn't possibly be so vast as to know the statistics and probabilities behind different refs getting different results and he bases his calls accordingly...could it? Is he that tapped in? More probable than not he's using magnets or something, finding a way to illegally manipulate the coin's trajectory through some combination of ancient metallurgy, Nazi-era science, and Jedi mind tricks. Or could it be that the Patriots just win, coin tosses or otherwise, for completely legitimate reasons, among those reasons being luck and chance, and sometimes you just have to acknowledge it and get on with your lives and not waste so much time obsessing over New England and putting up an ever-increasing number of "For Sale" signs in the rational parts of your brain to make room for yet a few more square miles of real estate that Bill Belichick and the Patriots will soon be occupying? No way. They're cheating again. The New Cheatland Cheatriots led by Cheat Belicheat are once again disgracing the integrity of the game by somehow finding a way to win the coin toss more than they are supposed to. I'll look forward to the ensuing investigation and months of nonstop media coverage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Furor Teutonicus Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Bullsh*t article written by a bullsh*t author. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beerfish Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Coin tosses are idiotic other than for over time. They should be pre determined with each team getting 8 during a year, that aligns with the home and away schedule. Just give the visiting team the option in each and every game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j4jets Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Finally an article with great reasonings! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rillo Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 This is pretty stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Schroy Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Great thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prime21 Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Coin tosses are idiotic other than for over time. They should be pre determined with each team getting 8 during a year, that aligns with the home and away schedule. Just give the visiting team the option in each and every game. Not according to the gamblers in Vegas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce Harper Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 I hate the Pats with all my being but this seems a bit far-fetched. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
#27TheDominator Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Bullsh*t article written by a bullsh*t author. Proper term is slapdick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jet_Engine1 Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 I hate the Pats with all my being but this seems a bit far-fetched. Its "satire" by a Pats fan. They think cheating is funny, because the people of the entire region of New England have no character, Integrity, or morals. These are people that worship Bill Bellichick and voted Barney Frank the homosexual pimp and Ted Kennedy the drunken murderer to office over and over again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex-Rex Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 I hate the Pats with all my being but this seems a bit far-fetched. I agree. There is a slight edge in heads over tails and computer alogrithms proves it. Coin tosses don't decide games, your play does. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T0mShane Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 <----Homosexual pimp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jet_Engine1 Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Why is this idiot still here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jet Nut Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Why is this idiot still here? Maybe we can flip a coin to decide his fate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Crusher Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 http://www.patspulpit.com/2015/11/4/9672716/the-patriots-cheat-at-coin-flips-too Just when you think the Patriots have exhausted all possible avenues for cheating, deception, and overall scumbaggery, they once again find a way to outdo themselves. It would appear that the Patriots have somehow found a way to even cheat the coin toss, as they have been winning at an impossible rate. According to the latest nine month, eleventeen grillion dollar investigation, the Pats have won 19 of the past 25 coin flips. The odds of that happening are 0.0073 - less than three quarters of one percent. The question, of course, is not if the Patriots are cheating, but how. I mean how can Bill Belichick possibly have figured out a way to manipulate one of the oldest methods of fairly making a decision known to humanity? What has he done to further taint his already eternally tarnished legacy? He couldn't have snuck in a two-headed or two-tailed coin; the refs hold onto them, they are provided by the league, and plus the opponents are making the call half the time anyway, rendering such a move highly risky. He couldn't have bribed the refs; they don't have any control over how a coin lands. Or do they? Has Belichick been orchestrating a scheme in which the referees, all of whom are clearly on the take anyway since the Patriots get ALL the calls, spend hours upon hours every offseason perfecting a carefully manipulated tossing system that allows them to dictate which side lands face up? If the Patriots call heads, can the refs manipulate it so the coin lands heads? If New England's opponent calls heads, can they make it come up tails? Is that what Pink Stripes is? Some massive coin aerodynamics equation? And is there even a rule against that? If there isn't, I sure hope that nobody in the Colts or Ravens front office reads this article, otherwise we'll be in for some more rule changes in the offseason. But that's just ridiculous, right? I mean Belichick isn't that good, is he? His evil genius couldn't possibly be so vast as to know the statistics and probabilities behind different refs getting different results and he bases his calls accordingly...could it? Is he that tapped in? More probable than not he's using magnets or something, finding a way to illegally manipulate the coin's trajectory through some combination of ancient metallurgy, Nazi-era science, and Jedi mind tricks. Or could it be that the Patriots just win, coin tosses or otherwise, for completely legitimate reasons, among those reasons being luck and chance, and sometimes you just have to acknowledge it and get on with your lives and not waste so much time obsessing over New England and putting up an ever-increasing number of "For Sale" signs in the rational parts of your brain to make room for yet a few more square miles of real estate that Bill Belichick and the Patriots will soon be occupying? No way. They're cheating again. The New Cheatland Cheatriots led by Cheat Belicheat are once again disgracing the integrity of the game by somehow finding a way to win the coin toss more than they are supposed to. I'll look forward to the ensuing investigation and months of nonstop media coverage. I stopped at Pats Pulpit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jetdawgg Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Witchcraft!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FloridaJetsFan Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Yawn. Go away troll. You are insignificant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce Harper Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 If that was an attempt at humor I hope the author doesn't quit his day job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
furrryBee Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 Boy, Belichick gives head of every head coach in the NFL. The Patriots start off up at least 3-0 every game due to the greatness of BB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRONX DUDE Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 This makes perfect sense for people with no sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cornfed Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 When the ball lands on red many times in a row in roulette, it's time to bet black since it's "due." i had had a math prof back in the day who had this phrase in his email sig - "the lottery is a tax imposed upon those who don't understand mathematics." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatriotReign37 Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 Why not scout Refs who flip the coins? Ref X flips at a tails rate of 67%. Therefore, choose tails if he is officiating. I sat right behind the Pats bench @ 2003 Houston regular season game and they made a big deal about losing that coin flip on the sideline. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jgb Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 Coin tosses are idiotic other than for over time. They should be pre determined with each team getting 8 during a year, that aligns with the home and away schedule. Just give the visiting team the option in each and every game. Good idea but then the NFL loses the ability to stuff in more commercials after the toss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jgb Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 When the ball lands on red many times in a row in roulette, it's time to bet black since it's "due." i had had a math prof back in the day who had this phrase in his email sig - "the lottery is a tax imposed upon those who don't understand mathematics." Stop. You'll offend the Geno loves that don't understand the difference between "possible" and "likely." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaliforniaJet Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 Is this what people from Boston find funny? Wow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
furi0usbe3 Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 Can't wait until you guys have to add your little asterisk to 19-0!!!!!!! It better be some big, bold font, because all anyone will see is 19-0. Sorry guys, it's going to be another hard off season looking up at the Patriots and wondering when you guys will ever catch a break. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RutgersJetFan Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 What a strange fanbase. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JetPotato Posted November 7, 2015 Share Posted November 7, 2015 What a strange fanbase. the worst. In every possible way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BUM-KNEE Posted November 8, 2015 Share Posted November 8, 2015 ............ because the people of the entire region of New England have no character, Integrity, or morals. WTF? Way to alienate and insult us New Englanders who arent Rats fans bucky. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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