Florio Power Rankings----What a Jerk

[flgreen]

Week One Power Rankings

 

 

Posted by Mike Florio on September 10, 2013, 9:20 AM EDT

 

 

Denver Broncos' Manning passes in rain against Baltimore Ravens during NFL football game in DenveReuters

 

1.  Broncos (1-0):  The Manning family dreads games played between Peyton and Eli.  Peyton shouldn’t; he’s 2-0 against his little brother.

 

 

2.  49ers (1-0):  Jim Harbaugh’s rope-a-dope worked on the Packers.  It will be a little harder to pull it off against the Seahawks.

 

 

3.  Texans (1-0):  Good teams become great teams when they find a way to overcome major deficits away from home.

 

 

4.  Seahawks (1-0):  Winning on the road during the regular season could be the key to playing more games at home in the postseason.

 

 

5.  Eagles (1-0):  Here’s a shock — the high-gear, full-time, no-huddle offense can build a lead, and it has trouble holding a lead.

 

 

6.  Packers (0-1):  Losing to the 49ers on the road in Week One is better than losing to them at home in Week One.  So 2013 is already a notch better than 2012.

 

 

7.  Ravens (0-1):  Is it too late to give the 49ers their sixth-round pick back for Anquan Boldin?

 

 

8.  Saints (1-0):  Sean Payton is back?  Check.  Drew Brees is still on the team?  Check.  The defense can’t be any worse?  Check.  Win over Falcons at home?  Boom.

 

 

9.  Patriots (1-0):  So when do the defensive players start playing a little offense?

 

 

10:  Falcons (0-1):  The Falcons would have been 1-0 if their former basketball player could have come down with a late rebound.

 

 

11.  Lions (1-0):  Reggie Bush says the team is just scratching the surface.  And Lions fans have had an itch they can’t quite reach for a long, long time.

 

 

12.  Bears (1-0):  We won’t really know about this team until it encounters adversity and Jay Cutler shoves someone.

 

 

13.  Bengals (0-1):  Remember when Joey Porter’s pit bulls got loose and killed that horse?  On Monday night, James Harrison will be playing the role of the pit bull — and Ben Roethlisberger will be playing the role of the horse.

 

 

14.  Cowboys (1-0):  Just like last year, Dallas beat the Giants to start the season.  The Cowboys hope the next 15 games unfold differently.

 

 

15.  Colts (1-0):  A close, come-from-behind win is still a win.  Just like it was last year.  Seven times.

 

 

16.  Giants (0-1):  Maybe the best way to prevent turnovers against the Broncos will be, to borrow a phrase from the Eli-Peyton DirecTV video, to put the “football in your pants.”

 

 

17.  Rams (1-0):  And the Rams are now 5-1-1 in the NFC West under Jeff Fisher.

 

 

18.  Vikings (0-1):  The lack of a competent passing game will prevent the Vikings from staying within a score of the many other teams who have one.

 

 

19.  Chiefs (1-0):  The only thing missing from the pantsing of Tyson Jackson was an announcer exclaiming that it was a “disgusting act!”

 

 

20.  Redskins (0-1):  Annnnnnd that’s why a quarterback should play at least one game in the preseason.

 

 

21.  Cardinals (0-1):  Already, they’re alone in the basement of the best division in football.  Hooray?

 

 

22.  Dolphins (1-0):  Mike Wallace apparently would rather catch a bunch of passes and lose than catch one and win.

 

 

23.  Titans (1-0):  Bud Adams wrapped a couple of Terrible Towels around his middle fingers.

 

 

24.  Chargers (0-1):  San Diego fans will complain about being in this spot because of the lead that was built over the Texans.  But only bottom-third teams are bad enough to blow leads like that.

 

 

25.  Bills (0-1):  They know how to knock on the door.  They still can’t find the knob.

 

 

26. Raiders (0-1):  Has any NFL team ever been happier about being 0-1?

 

 

27. Panthers (0-1):  Playing a good team close at home no longer will cut it in Carolina.

 

 

28.  Jets (1-0):  Someone should register the trademark for “We won’t be 0-16!”

 

 

29.  Steelers (0-1):  Someone should register the trademark for “B-b-but we still have six rings!”

 

 

30.  Buccaneers (0-1):  Lavonte David’s gaffe cost the team a win; the absence of a competent offense cost the team an easy win.

 

 

31.  Browns (0-1):  The management can change, but the output at the Factory of Sadness remains the same.

 

 

32.  Jaguars (0-1):  Even Tim Tebow could have led this offense to zero points.Week One Power Rankings

 

 

 

[ylekram]

don't need to see his power rankings to know he is a jerk. he has a serious amount of douche to him

[kay_gee]

guy's a douchy jagoff, but we knew this.

[jack48]

t-o-o-l

[Integrity28]

He has the Pats way too high, but the rest is somewhat fair - the comments are doosh-spectacular. 

[Lizard King]

ever see him on tv? looks a little light in the feet.

[faba]

Typical from him- way to shut them up is to win- simple

[Patriot Killa]

Lol... nothing to say but "we aren't 0-16" ? Typical.. I mean we won.

[ylekram]

he thinks he is WAYYY more witty than he actually is

[SweetLee83]

I thought the reasoning's were kinda funny. I don't agree with some of the rankings, but it was comical. 

[HessStation]

All his remarks on the bottom teams were smarmy.

[SayNoToDMC]

When I can't get my football news from the WSJ its this Italian Lawyer/Gossip columnist or nothing for me.

[Klecko73isGod]

Week One Power Rankings

 

 

Posted by Mike Florio on September 10, 2013, 9:20 AM EDT

 

 

Denver Broncos' Manning passes in rain against Baltimore Ravens during NFL football game in DenveReuters

 

1.  Broncos (1-0):  The Manning family dreads games played between Peyton and Eli.  Peyton shouldn’t; he’s 2-0 against his little brother.

 

 

2.  49ers (1-0):  Jim Harbaugh’s rope-a-dope worked on the Packers.  It will be a little harder to pull it off against the Seahawks.

 

 

3.  Texans (1-0):  Good teams become great teams when they find a way to overcome major deficits away from home.

 

 

4.  Seahawks (1-0):  Winning on the road during the regular season could be the key to playing more games at home in the postseason.

 

 

5.  Eagles (1-0):  Here’s a shock — the high-gear, full-time, no-huddle offense can build a lead, and it has trouble holding a lead.

 

 

6.  Packers (0-1):  Losing to the 49ers on the road in Week One is better than losing to them at home in Week One.  So 2013 is already a notch better than 2012.

 

 

7.  Ravens (0-1):  Is it too late to give the 49ers their sixth-round pick back for Anquan Boldin?

 

 

8.  Saints (1-0):  Sean Payton is back?  Check.  Drew Brees is still on the team?  Check.  The defense can’t be any worse?  Check.  Win over Falcons at home?  Boom.

 

 

9.  Patriots (1-0):  So when do the defensive players start playing a little offense?

 

 

10:  Falcons (0-1):  The Falcons would have been 1-0 if their former basketball player could have come down with a late rebound.

 

 

11.  Lions (1-0):  Reggie Bush says the team is just scratching the surface.  And Lions fans have had an itch they can’t quite reach for a long, long time.

 

 

12.  Bears (1-0):  We won’t really know about this team until it encounters adversity and Jay Cutler shoves someone.

 

 

13.  Bengals (0-1):  Remember when Joey Porter’s pit bulls got loose and killed that horse?  On Monday night, James Harrison will be playing the role of the pit bull — and Ben Roethlisberger will be playing the role of the horse.

 

 

14.  Cowboys (1-0):  Just like last year, Dallas beat the Giants to start the season.  The Cowboys hope the next 15 games unfold differently.

 

 

15.  Colts (1-0):  A close, come-from-behind win is still a win.  Just like it was last year.  Seven times.

 

 

16.  Giants (0-1):  Maybe the best way to prevent turnovers against the Broncos will be, to borrow a phrase from the Eli-Peyton DirecTV video, to put the “football in your pants.”

 

 

17.  Rams (1-0):  And the Rams are now 5-1-1 in the NFC West under Jeff Fisher.

 

 

18.  Vikings (0-1):  The lack of a competent passing game will prevent the Vikings from staying within a score of the many other teams who have one.

 

 

19.  Chiefs (1-0):  The only thing missing from the pantsing of Tyson Jackson was an announcer exclaiming that it was a “disgusting act!”

 

 

20.  Redskins (0-1):  Annnnnnd that’s why a quarterback should play at least one game in the preseason.

 

 

21.  Cardinals (0-1):  Already, they’re alone in the basement of the best division in football.  Hooray?

 

 

22.  Dolphins (1-0):  Mike Wallace apparently would rather catch a bunch of passes and lose than catch one and win.

 

 

23.  Titans (1-0):  Bud Adams wrapped a couple of Terrible Towels around his middle fingers.

 

 

24.  Chargers (0-1):  San Diego fans will complain about being in this spot because of the lead that was built over the Texans.  But only bottom-third teams are bad enough to blow leads like that.

 

 

25.  Bills (0-1):  They know how to knock on the door.  They still can’t find the knob.

 

 

26. Raiders (0-1):  Has any NFL team ever been happier about being 0-1?

 

 

27. Panthers (0-1):  Playing a good team close at home no longer will cut it in Carolina.

 

 

28.  Jets (1-0):  Someone should register the trademark for “We won’t be 0-16!”

 

 

29.  Steelers (0-1):  Someone should register the trademark for “B-b-but we still have six rings!”

 

 

30.  Buccaneers (0-1):  Lavonte David’s gaffe cost the team a win; the absence of a competent offense cost the team an easy win.

 

 

31.  Browns (0-1):  The management can change, but the output at the Factory of Sadness remains the same.

 

 

32.  Jaguars (0-1):  Even Tim Tebow could have led this offense to zero points.Week One Power Rankings

 

This reads like it was written by an eight grader. 

 

Two things:

 

1. I love the use of the "Someone should register the trademark..." line in consecutive items. Someone should register the trademark "complete lack of originality or creativity."

 

2. So the Bucs lost because they don't have competent offense? It had nothing to do with the Jets defense? Mike, why don't you admit that when you watch a football game you have absolutely no idea what is going on?

[Klecko73isGod]

I thought the reasoning's were kinda funny. I don't agree with some of the rankings, but it was comical. 

 

Lemme guess, you're a sophomore in high school?

[Matt39]

His point about the Bucs makes no sense.

[Bugg]

I'm not a defense-oreinted guy. But the Pats and the Packers have 2 awful defenses that haven't done anything but screw the pooch for a while. Best I can tell, AJ Hawk and and Clay Matthews are beloved by the football media because they are white guys with Thor haircuts and are  media accessible. And Bellicheat's "genius" label is shown more and more to be lucking into Tom Brady. May be the jets are that bad, but have a hard time taking this jerkoff seriously after he slagged RGIII because he had dreds. SO if football analysis centering on coiff review is your thing, Mike Florio and his brill creme do are your choice.

[nycdan]

"15.  Colts (1-0):  A close, come-from-behind win is still a win.  Just like it was last year.  Seven times."

 

Unless you're the Jets apparently.

[Gastineau Lives]

"15.  Colts (1-0):  A close, come-from-behind win is still a win.  Just like it was last year.  Seven times."

 

Unless you're the Jets apparently.

 

Against the Raiders no less.

[Bleedin Green]

"15.  Colts (1-0):  A close, come-from-behind win is still a win.  Just like it was last year.  Seven times."

 

Unless you're the Jets apparently.

 

Yeah, that one caught my attention too.  I'm guessing that at some point someone associated with the Jets found out, and spread the word, about the microscopically small penis he apparently has.  Maybe he was trading pics with Favre.

[HessStation]

Dudes, the come from behind win for the Colts is not necessarily the same thing as the gift that was given to the Jets.

Guy is a cocksucker but some of you are probably being a bit over sensitive.

[Klecko73isGod]

YOU ARE WHAT YOUR RECORD AFTER WEEK 1 SAYS YOU ARE!

[kay_gee]

Dudes, the come from behind win for the Colts is not necessarily the same thing as the gift that was given to the Jets.

Guy is a cocksucker but some of you are probably being a bit over sensitive.

true, but there's a definite double standard applied to the Jets (so deeply ingrained even some fans do it) that's been stale for years.

[Klecko73isGod]

true, but there's a definite double standard applied to the Jets (so deeply ingrained even some fans do it) that's been stale for years.

 

Meh... people also apply a double standard to the Dolphins because they went undefeated 41 years ago. 

[HessStation]

Whatever check the 2009 preseason Power Rankings...Saints were ranked 24th.

[GATA]

p-e-n-i-s gobbler

[Greenseed4]

Someone should trademark the phrase, "p-e-n-i-s gobbler".

[whodeawhodat]

someone should trademark the phrase " Douche bag"

[Klecko73isGod]

Someone should trademark the phrase "I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt."

[Klecko73isGod]

Someone should trademark the phrase "I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt."

 

I immediately regret posting this.

[jetsjetsjetss]

where should we be ranked?

[nycdan]

I immediately regret posting this.

 

It wasn't your best work.

[DRJETS]

Dudes, the come from behind win for the Colts is not necessarily the same thing as the gift that was given to the Jets.

Guy is a cocksucker but some of you are probably being a bit over sensitive.

 

Actually, we had the game until that miracle play by VJ on 3rd and 10.  POETIC JUSTICE. 

[ylekram]

where should we be ranked?

27 or thereabouts. its just the nonstop douchey comments and he looks like he wears fishnet stockings on thurday nights

[Larz]

jets beat the pats......"the pats were banged up, they will dominate the re-match"

[TnT]

I dont do PFT ever since the one time they twisted Revis' comment about Vontae Davis/Sean Smith not being the best CB tandem in the NFL...they are the epitome of media sludge.