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Adam Gaze Walks Into A Bar…


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The receptionist tells the psychiatrist Adam Gaze is in the waiting room and he thinks he’s invisible.  Doctor says “tell him I can’t see him right now”.

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Adam Gaze walks into a bar and a guy says to him, "Howdy, stranger.  Where are you from?" Gaze answers, "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences in prepositions." "Oh, I'm sorry," replies the guy. "Where are you from, a$$hole?"

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"Adam Gase walks into a bar & @SAR Ifollows him into the bar (as he followed him into every Jets thread), asks for his autograph, gets drunk together and all while talking about where football is going. Adam Gase calls him an Uber home because he's rich as fk so he doesn't crash his BMW but SAR declines because he wants Gase to take him home with him instead. He looks @ his Rolex and realizes it's only 2:30 a.m and still has another 30 minutes in order to try and sell Adam Gase PSL's this way Gase can watch Saleh from the nose bleeds. Gase fell in love with SAR and SAR was already in love with Gase. They went home together after the bar. SAR got to ride him for the next 2 yesrs. And they lived a happily ever after". 

The end. 

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Adam Gase walks in a bar and asks the barkeep which TV they’ll be playing the Jets game on. 

Bartender looks at him and points to a large dusty big screen in the back corner.  Adam says, “great, I’ll need 12 coasters, and when to game comes on bring out a stack of pint glasses and a couple pitchers of beer at the beginning of each quarter.”

The puzzled bartender hands him a short stack of coasters and says, “okay.”

Gase then proceeds to set a coaster in front of each chair over by the old TV in the back. 

“Hey! What are you doing?!” The bar man hollers.

Gase tries to find him with his googly eyes and says, “I coaster where football is going!”

 

 


 

I’ll see myself out. 

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40 minutes ago, Defense Wins Championships said:

"Adam Gase walks into a bar & @SAR Ifollows him into the bar (as he followed him into every Jets thread), asks for his autograph, gets drunk together and all while talking about where football is going. Adam Gase calls him an Uber home because he's rich as fk so he doesn't crash his BMW but SAR declines because he wants Gase to take him home with him instead. He looks @ his Rolex and realizes it's only 2:30 a.m and still has another 30 minutes in order to try and sell Adam Gase PSL's this way Gase can watch Saleh from the nose bleeds. Gase fell in love with SAR and SAR was already in love with Gase. They went home together after the bar. SAR got to ride him for the next 2 yesrs. And they lived a happily ever after". 

The end. 

Drop the mic!

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29 minutes ago, Greenseed4 said:

^i made that joke…

 

while sitting in my toilet. 

Why do people feel the need to take their cell phones in with them when taking a dump. 

Why do people feel the need to camp out. 

Dump wipe wash hands and go. 

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A rabbi, a priest, an imam and Adam Gase are in a plane.

It's possible they are flying to a bar. 

The rabbi, priest and imam grab Adam Gase by the arms and legs and throw him from the aircraft, because they know even God hates Adam Gase. 

 

 

Praise Jesus 

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38 minutes ago, joewilly12 said:

Why do people feel the need to take their cell phones in with them when taking a dump. 

Why do people feel the need to camp out. 

Dump wipe wash hands and go. 

Some us aren't on a diet of Werther's Originals and prune juice.   

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2 minutes ago, Greenseed4 said:

Some us aren't on a diet of Werther's Originals and prune juice.   

Neither am I bathroom lurker. 

Do you sit and sniff too. 

Get in get the job done and exit. 

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10 minutes ago, joewilly12 said:

Neither am I bathroom lurker. 

Do you sit and sniff too. 

Get in get the job done and exit. 

 

@joewilly12 moderating message boards and bathrooms.   

fred armisen lol GIF by IFC

 

 

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On 7/9/2021 at 1:04 PM, joewilly12 said:

Just giving my opinion. 

Monitoring nothing of the sort. 

Gross 


Well, since you're so interested in my hygiene...  I'll have you know that if a bidet is not available I take a shower after every bowel movement, and I only use my phone through a zipped plastic bag that gets sanitized after every use.  If a bidet is available, I still take a shower, I just don't shampoo and condition (with a double-rinse) beneath the belt line.

I'm just so stinkin’ busy with volunteer work and recycling projects that I rarely have an opportunity to catch up on current news, so having the ability to multi-task while confined to the toilet is great because I value education and worldly awareness so much. 

From the sound of it, you don't value education or volunteer work with needy kids, and you probably do the bare minimum when it comes to personal hygiene, like, mere hand washing.  But I don't want to get all hoity-toity about it.  I generally believe in just letting people live their own best lives, you know what I mean?

 

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8 minutes ago, Greenseed4 said:


Well, since you're so interested in my hygiene...  I'll have you know that if a bidet is not available I take a shower after every bowel movement, and I only use my phone through a zipped plastic bag that gets sanitized after every use.  If a bidet is available, I still take a shower, I just don't shampoo and condition (with a double-rinse) beneath the belt line as I need more time to help others.   

I'm so busy with volunteer work and recycling projects that I rarely have an opportunity to catch up on current news, so having the ability to multi-task while confined to the toilet is great because I value education and worldly awareness so much. 

From the sound of it, you don't value education or volunteer work with needy kids, and you do the bare minimum when it comes to personal hygiene.  But I don't want to get all hoity-toity about it.  I generally believe in just letting people live their own best lives, you know what I mean?

 

giphy.gif

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Adam Gase walks into a bar and orders a shot and says "I'm celebrating my first blow job!"

Bartender says "Congratulations! Here, have another one on me!"

Gase says "No thanks. If the first one didn't get the taste out of my mouth the second one won't either."

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