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A new indignity: the 2018 Jets are the worst team on Madden


T0mShane

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1 hour ago, joewilly12 said:

Why should this surprise anyone if Josh McCown is the starting QB............

Image result for football god ny jets pics

Haha that would be an interesting game. You inherit a franchise in ashes and hamstrung by terrible multi-year guaranteed contracts for over-the-hill has-beens and have to rebuild.

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2 hours ago, T0mShane said:

Where is your god now?

221752E9-CDED-409E-8BE0-128882CC3E64.png

There is the same point difference between the Patriots and Jets as between the Eagles and San Fran. In that context I'd say we're still overrated ;)

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This smarts a little bit because I feel like we’re actually improving but still I can’t make a convincing argument.

we have zero elite players- trumaine Johnson is an upper tier CB.

we have a handful of promising youngsters and that’s it.

so yeah I can see this rating.

ultimately a fair amount of teams will end up worse than us but right now this seems fair

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17 minutes ago, David Harris said:

This smarts a little bit because I feel like we’re actually improving but still I can’t make a convincing argument.

we have zero elite players- trumaine Johnson is an upper tier CB.

we have a handful of promising youngsters and that’s it.

so yeah I can see this rating.

ultimately a fair amount of teams will end up worse than us but right now this seems fair

Zero elite players is a massive indictment of Macc. 

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To: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden ‘07

Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is ******* bullsh*t and you should kiss my mother-******* ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.

You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a ******* 12. I rate you a ******* 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom. Score one for Red Beard.

It’s also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly sh*t and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast. ****, John, I understand you saying that I am slow and lacking athleticism, but a rating like this pretty much labels me as retarded. Rod “He Hate Me” Smart has a 52 in this category. Electronic Arts is saying that seven rating points separate me and the breathing embodiment of the perfect oxymoron. Rod Smart struggled to arrange words in sentence form. Cave men had better hold of the English language. The only actions that separate point values of ignorance at this embarrassing level are things like using your own toothbrush to wipe your ass. I basically edged out Rod by my lack of sh*t teeth. If I take a night school class, could you bump me up to a 60?

I guess I just can’t fathom the fact that I am the absolute worst player rated out of the entire NFL. ****, man, there are some sh*tty guys out there. Amongst everyone, I was rated the absolute worst.

I have received the impression that you feel that I am lacking in the agility category. I should consider a walk through my living room where I don’t crash trough a wall or kick over furniture a resounding success. My agility rating on your game is 33. It makes it sound like I just topple over if I start walking too fast. Ted Washington is rated a 40 in agility. He is listed at 365 pounds. If Ted Washington tied a white lady up and made her wear a metal bikini, he’d look just like Jabba the Hut.

Red Alert!
John, you are such a ******* dick. I also noticed that my kick return rating was a 0. I was rated a ******* zero? So you feel that I shouldn’t even receive a 10, or even a 5? You are pretty much saying that I couldn’t even fall forward on a ball kicked in my direction. I would just stand there and let the ball bounce off of my ******* face. **** that, John, I returned an onside kick 6 yards in 2002. You should have just slapped a - 4 on me and had the EA staff ambush me with paintball guns.

Finally, I would like to comment on an unlikely topic, my pass coverage ratings. I see that I am a better at man-to-man coverage (31) than zone (21). **** me sideways with a lunchbox. Where did these scores even come from? How much time is spent coming up with the pass coverage ratings of offensive lineman? Can I have that job? Let’s see here, I think that Orlando Pace would be slightly better at jumping intermediate routes than Larry Allen. While I’m at it, I can assign the passing ratings for offensive lineman as well. I can use mine as a guide.

I was rated with a throwing power of 17 and accuracy of 16. Orlando Pace is has a 22 power and 17 accuracy rating. Did someone at EA really put time into figuring out that Orlando Pace edges out Ethan Albright in both throwing power and accuracy? I will challenge him any day. My horrible passer ratings are of greatest misfortune to my son, Red Beard Jr. The poor boy is not only hideously ugly and covered by freakishly large freckles. He also has to suffer through playing catch with me and my senile-elderly-woman-type passer ratings. A session of tossing the pigskin usually consists of me missing my son by thirty yards in sporadic directions. I led him in front of a fire truck once and my wife kicked my ass. This is because of my 76 toughness rating. Yes, a 76 is far better than the other ratings, but I’m a ******* lineman, damn it. NFL Linemen are considered to be synonymous with toughness. According to your game, I am a retarded, uncoordinated, pussy-ass ****wad that can’t fall on a kickoff, throw, or spell. I am, however, slightly better at manning up on a receiver than dropping into zone coverage. You lose your mind more and more each year, old man.

When I'm not snapping balls, I snap necks.
**** you, John. Please expect to find red pubes in various meals you consume for the rest of your life. If you **** with Ethan Albright, you call down the thunder.

Rot in Hell,

Ethan Albright

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if you go and grade every player on every roster in the league, the Jets' roster does indeed have glaring weaknesses

for example they have zero pass rushers who would start on other teams. That's a problem. 

the offense lacks elite playmakers at RB/WR and TE. the OL is below average with zero developmental prospects. 

the Darnold pick is a gamechanger 2-3 years from now hopefully. This year 2018 it would be surprising if he set the league on fire. 

all of this is to say Todd Bowles did an amazing job getting 5 wins out of a 0 win roster

let's see how close he can get this sh*tbag locker room to .500 

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3 hours ago, The Crusher said:

 

Well that and the fact Hackenburgh will be out of football without ever taking a regular season snap. 

Is there anywhere he can play?  CFL? Usually QB’s there are fleet of foot.  XXXXX. Arena Football League? XXXXX Doesn’t seem to have the quickness for that tempo either. Probably he’ll be a lifetime practice squad QB and occasional 3rd stringer. Talk about a fall from grace for a guy, who after his freshman year, was being touted as the #1 pick in the draft upon leaving Penn St. 

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3 minutes ago, BigO said:

Is there anywhere he can play?  CFL? Usually QB’s there are fleet of foot.  XXXXX. Arena Football League? XXXXX Doesn’t seem to have the quickness for that tempo either. Probably he’ll be a lifetime practice squad QB and occasional 3rd stringer. Talk about a fall from grace for a guy, who after his freshman year, was being touted as the #1 pick in the draft upon leaving Penn St. 

Hopefully he kept every penny he got so far. Sorry. Best I got. 

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Ehh..after my eyes were opened to the wonderful experience of NBA2K, I realize Madden games were such a huge sh*t stain. EA is trash.

This really isn’t such a huge surprise. We have lingered around the bottom at 73-75 overall for years and years. Figures we’d hit rock bottom with a 72.

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3 minutes ago, The Crusher said:

Hopefully he kept every penny he got so far. Sorry. Best I got. 

Hack probably never have to deal with an honest day’s work in his entire life if he invests wisely. Not losing any sleep over him. 

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Just like last year, this is nonsense.  

Last year all the scribes were saying one or two wins, Vegas O/U was 4 1/2.  Jets won 5.

Month or so ago checked the Vegas line think it was 6 1/2.  I expect the same thing, 7-9 wins

 

Edit:  

AFC East

New York Jets

Jets Win Total Breakdown | Jets Pick Six Podcast Preview

2018 Over/Under Win Total 6

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