A Proposal To Jet Nation

[Satan]

Dear JetNation,

Greetings from the depths of the Underworld! I am Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness, the ruler of all things sinister, and I must say, I’ve had quite the laugh watching your undying loyalty to the New York Jets. Year after year, you poor souls cling to hope like it’s a lifeline, only to have your dreams crushed in the most spectacular fashion. Honestly, it’s almost admirable—if it weren’t so pathetically hilarious.

The Proposal:
I will guarantee that the New York Jets win the Super Bowl this very year. Yes, you heard me right. The Jets, Super Bowl champions. Imagine the glory, the parades, the tears of joy. Your team, holding the Lombardi Trophy high. Finally, you can stop pretending that next year is your year because this year will be.

The Terms:

• Immediate Fulfillment: The Jets will win the Super Bowl this season, defying all odds and making history.
• Lifelong Memory: You will savor this victory for the rest of your mortal life. The celebrations, the bragging rights—it will all be yours to enjoy.
• Simple Agreement: No need for your soul—I'm not that cruel. Just a simple understanding between us.

The Consequences:
Upon the conclusion of this miraculous season, the Jets will not make the playoffs for at least the following 10 years. Yes, a decade of dashed hopes and continued suffering. Think of it as a small price to pay for that one fleeting moment of glory. After all, Joe Namath sold his soul to me for that Super Bowl III win, and look where it got you—decades of misery and heartbreak. You’ll be following in his legendary footsteps, except with a much clearer deal.

The Choice:
Ah, the sweet irony! You’ve spent your life believing in the Jets—a team that has consistently tested the limits of your patience and sanity. Now, you have the chance to see them crowned champions, to bask in the glory that has eluded you for so long. Think of it as a trade—one glorious season for a decade of despair. Besides, what’s another 10 years of waiting when you've been waiting since 1969? This seems like an easy decision.

This offer will be put to a poll. The results of the poll will be final and binding. Should you choose to accept my offer, the Jets will be Super Bowl champions this year, and the next 10 years of playoff drought will be your fate. If the majority declines, well, you’ll continue as you have, clinging to hope each season.

I look forward to witnessing the extraordinary joy and inevitable despair that will follow. After all, isn’t that what being a Jets fan is all about?

Yours Eternally,
Lucifer Prince of Darkness

 

[Crimer]

In a heartbeat!

[T0mShane]

Whenever Satan offers me a deal I’m always like “sure man” and he’s always like “don’t you want to hear the terms?” and I’m like “nah.”

[bgivs21]

There's a couple of posters we wouldn't mind offering instead of a playoff drought

[Integrity28]

26 minutes ago, Satan said:

Yours Eternally,
Lucifer Prince of Darkness

 

@CTM

[Satan]

12 minutes ago, bgivs21 said:

There's a couple of posters we wouldn't mind offering instead of a playoff drought

Do you take me for some sort of amateur?

Let me make this crystal clear: This deal is non-negotiable. The terms are simple: The Jets win the Super Bowl this year in exchange for a decade-long playoff drought. No substitutes, no bartering with names. The sheer arrogance of thinking you could wiggle out of the consequences is both laughable and insulting.

Do you honestly think I’m interested in a few names on a forum? My offer is about the essence of being a Jets fan—enduring agony and fleeting glory. Joe Namath knew what he was doing when he sold his soul for that Super Bowl III win, dooming you all to decades of heartbreak. I’m giving you a similar chance to taste victory, at the cost of future suffering.

So, vote in the poll and decide if you have the guts to accept my terms. But know this: There will be no changes to the agreement. You either take the deal as it stands, or you continue wallowing in mediocrity, hoping that next year will somehow be different.

I look forward to your decision. And remember, I don’t appreciate being taken lightly.

[Trotter]

My mother in law has joined jetnation?

[Smashmouth]

41 minutes ago, Satan said:

Dear JetNation,

Greetings from the depths of the Underworld! I am Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness, the ruler of all things sinister, and I must say, I’ve had quite the laugh watching your undying loyalty to the New York Jets. Year after year, you poor souls cling to hope like it’s a lifeline, only to have your dreams crushed in the most spectacular fashion. Honestly, it’s almost admirable—if it weren’t so pathetically hilarious.

The Proposal:
I will guarantee that the New York Jets win the Super Bowl this very year. Yes, you heard me right. The Jets, Super Bowl champions. Imagine the glory, the parades, the tears of joy. Your team, holding the Lombardi Trophy high. Finally, you can stop pretending that next year is your year because this year will be.

The Terms:

• Immediate Fulfillment: The Jets will win the Super Bowl this season, defying all odds and making history.
• Lifelong Memory: You will savor this victory for the rest of your mortal life. The celebrations, the bragging rights—it will all be yours to enjoy.
• Simple Agreement: No need for your soul—I'm not that cruel. Just a simple understanding between us.

The Consequences:
Upon the conclusion of this miraculous season, the Jets will not make the playoffs for at least the following 10 years. Yes, a decade of dashed hopes and continued suffering. Think of it as a small price to pay for that one fleeting moment of glory. After all, Joe Namath sold his soul to me for that Super Bowl III win, and look where it got you—decades of misery and heartbreak. You’ll be following in his legendary footsteps, except with a much clearer deal.

The Choice:
Ah, the sweet irony! You’ve spent your life believing in the Jets—a team that has consistently tested the limits of your patience and sanity. Now, you have the chance to see them crowned champions, to bask in the glory that has eluded you for so long. Think of it as a trade—one glorious season for a decade of despair. Besides, what’s another 10 years of waiting when you've been waiting since 1969? This seems like an easy decision.

This offer will be put to a poll. The results of the poll will be final and binding. Should you choose to accept my offer, the Jets will be Super Bowl champions this year, and the next 10 years of playoff drought will be your fate. If the majority declines, well, you’ll continue as you have, clinging to hope each season.

I look forward to witnessing the extraordinary joy and inevitable despair that will follow. After all, isn’t that what being a Jets fan is all about?

Yours Eternally,
Lucifer Prince of Darkness

 

Joe ?

[The Crusher]

18 minutes ago, Satan said:

Do you take me for some sort of amateur?

Let me make this crystal clear: This deal is non-negotiable. The terms are simple: The Jets win the Super Bowl this year in exchange for a decade-long playoff drought. No substitutes, no bartering with names. The sheer arrogance of thinking you could wiggle out of the consequences is both laughable and insulting.

Do you honestly think I’m interested in a few names on a forum? My offer is about the essence of being a Jets fan—enduring agony and fleeting glory. Joe Namath knew what he was doing when he sold his soul for that Super Bowl III win, dooming you all to decades of heartbreak. I’m giving you a similar chance to taste victory, at the cost of future suffering.

So, vote in the poll and decide if you have the guts to accept my terms. But know this: There will be no changes to the agreement. You either take the deal as it stands, or you continue wallowing in mediocrity, hoping that next year will somehow be different.

I look forward to your decision. And remember, I don’t appreciate being taken lightly.

@T0mShane ^^^ 2024 JN Captain. 

[Smashmouth]

16 minutes ago, Satan said:

Do you take me for some sort of amateur?

Let me make this crystal clear: This deal is non-negotiable. The terms are simple: The Jets win the Super Bowl this year in exchange for a decade-long playoff drought. No substitutes, no bartering with names. The sheer arrogance of thinking you could wiggle out of the consequences is both laughable and insulting.

Do you honestly think I’m interested in a few names on a forum? My offer is about the essence of being a Jets fan—enduring agony and fleeting glory. Joe Namath knew what he was doing when he sold his soul for that Super Bowl III win, dooming you all to decades of heartbreak. I’m giving you a similar chance to taste victory, at the cost of future suffering.

So, vote in the poll and decide if you have the guts to accept my terms. But know this: There will be no changes to the agreement. You either take the deal as it stands, or you continue wallowing in mediocrity, hoping that next year will somehow be different.

I look forward to your decision. And remember, I don’t appreciate being taken lightly.

blow it out your ass Satan ..... as Jets fans we can take any crap you throw at us we are already in a living hell, what makes you think we will take your stupid deal .... I have a deal for you, go **** with the Met fans, they are much more willing to understand they will always suck and having to look up to the Yankees is a constant beatdown. You being as smart as you say you are you should have known this poser. 

[Satan]

8 minutes ago, Smashmouth said:

blow it out your ass Satan ..... as Jets fans we can take any crap you throw at us we are already in a living hell, what makes you think we will take your stupid deal .... I have a deal for you, go **** with the Met fans, they are much more willing to understand they will always suck and having to look up to the Yankees is a constant beatdown. You being as smart as you say you are you should have known this poser. 

Oh, how delightful! It seems I’ve struck a nerve. "Blow it out your ass, Satan," you say? My, my, such bravado from a guy that hasn’t even mustered the courage to vote on the poll. Typical Jets fan, all talk and no action.

Let’s address your points, shall we? Yes, I know you’re used to living in a perpetual state of disappointment and despair. That’s precisely why I thought you’d jump at the chance for one moment of glory. But instead, you’ve decided to puff out your chest and pretend you’re too tough for my deal. How adorably misguided.

And suggesting I turn my attention to Mets fans? Really? At least they’ve had the decency to win a championship in the last half-century. Unlike the Jets, who’ve been floundering in mediocrity, clinging to that one ancient victory like it’s a life raft. It’s almost pitiable.

You claim to be able to take any crap I throw at you, yet you haven’t even cast a vote. It’s easy to talk big on a forum, but when it comes to making a decision, you’re hiding behind your keyboard, too scared to face the consequences. How very fitting for a Jets fan.

So, here’s a thought: Instead of trying to deflect and insult, why don’t you grow a spine and make a decision? Take the deal or don’t but stop pretending you’re above it all. We both know that deep down, you’re desperate for that one moment of glory.

Next time, try coming up with an insult that actually stings. I expect better from a fanbase that’s been through what you have.

[bicketybam]

Only if there is a genie and a time traveler involved.

[Jetsfan80]

Who the f**k wouldn’t take that deal?  We’ve missed the playoffs for the last 14 years….what’s another 10 to us?

[#27TheDominator]

37 minutes ago, The Crusher said:

@T0mShane ^^^ 2024 JN Captain. 

They do all guarantee a championship.  Guess that means he'd quit by October 

[Barry McCockinner]

Hey Satan I voted deal but I meant to click no deal because we're going to win the next 2 anyway. Please subtract one from deal and add one to no deal when doing your final count.

[OilfieldJet]

Hey Lucy, why not try one of the teams that has never won a Super Bowl? Not to mention it is a presidential election year…..just saying.

[RutgersJetFan]

47 minutes ago, Satan said:

Oh, how delightful! It seems I’ve struck a nerve. "Blow it out your ass, Satan," you say? My, my, such bravado from a guy that hasn’t even mustered the courage to vote on the poll. 

******* dying 

[TBJ]

How many shots do we have to take Mr. Satan?

[Beerfish]

WE are already at year 15 of no playoffs you schmuck, you already owe us one!

Also you spelled SANTA wrong!

[RedBeardedSavage]

We already did this, homie.

#8 is already poppin' off 'bout vaccines, school shootings and tripping balls in Egypt during minicamp.

And you owe us for that deal you made with the lil' Mormon kid: "I wanna be a NFL quarterback one day!"

[dbatesman]

1 hour ago, Satan said:

The Jets will win the Super Bowl this season, defying all odds

I know you see a lot of awful sh*t down in Hell, but I don’t think you’re ready for the most annoying people in the world to march in here and explain that #actually the Jets have the fifth best odds to win the Super Bowl

[slimjasi]

46 minutes ago, Jetsfan80 said:

Who the f**k wouldn’t take that deal?  We’ve missed the playoffs for the last 14 years….what’s another 10 to us?

It’s funny because I sort of have the opposite reaction initially. Nothing is more depressing than being bad and irrelevant every year. And the thought of another guaranteed decade of being irrelevant really bums me out and makes me want to say f*ck you 
 

Of course, I’d untimely take a fluky championship - beggars can’t be choosers.
 

But the one thing I really want to see in my lifetime is a sustained run of 5ish years where the Jets are contenders. I can’t deal with being losers year after year. That’s what’s draining. 

[playtowinthegame]

I need a 3-peat to go another decade without the playoffs. 

[Warfish]

Quote

The terms are simple: The Jets win the Super Bowl this year in exchange for a decade-long playoff drought.

Thank you, deal accepted.

[Dunnie]

Zach ... Is that you ?

Sent from my Pixel 7 using Tapatalk

[Satan]

1 minute ago, playtowinthegame said:

I need a 3-peat to go another decade without the playoffs. 

Now there’s the kind of ambition I can appreciate. Your greed is truly admirable! A three-peat to go another decade without the playoffs? If only all Jets fans had your level of audacity.

However, let’s get one thing straight: my offer stands as is. One glorious Super Bowl win in exchange for a decade of playoff drought. 

[Joe W. Namath]

Nope.  Want to be competitive year in and year out;  We already won a Super Bowl.  We dont need another stand alone and then suck again for a decade.

I want to be in the mix every year.

[Satan]

8 minutes ago, Joe W. Namath said:

Nope.  Want to be competitive year in and year out;  We already won a Super Bowl.  We dont need another stand alone and then suck again for a decade.

I want to be in the mix every year.

I will give you a hint on this Joe. Less than 0.

[JetsfaninNorthHollywood]

[hawk]

Superbowl win and then a 10 year sabatacle from football....

Are you sure your not your long lost father?

Then again, maybe you would renege.  After all.....

[JetsfaninNorthHollywood]

Hmmm could you include a new stadium in the deal as well? I mean if it's 10 years of additional futility....could they at least suck in a place other than MetLife? 

[TuscanyTile2]

2 hours ago, T0mShane said:

Whenever Satan offers me a deal I’m always like “sure man” and he’s always like “don’t you want to hear the terms?” and I’m like “nah.”

[Doggin94it]

Deal. I get a Super Bowl win plus millions of dollars? (if the win is guaranteed, I'm throwing some real money down on them to win the championship at +2200)

That'll get me through ten playoff-less years just fine, thanks

[Bleedin Green]

10 years?  That's it?!?  Clearly someone doesn't follow this team too closely, considering that's nothing more than standard fair around these parts.

Dude just got suckered by his own deal.

[BornJetsFan1983]

Can we credit for time served @Satan?